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Clips from Friends - The One with Rachel's Other Sister (S09E09)

""Hey, don't eat that! That's Phoebe's!" And he said..."
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"He said, "Joey, you stink at lying." What am I gonna do?"
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"Don't worry. We'll come up with a lie. I'll help you."
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"- Great. That'd be great. Thank you. - Sure. What was the work thing?"
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"She's precious."
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"Do you ever worry that she's gonna get your real nose?"
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"Amy..."
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"Hello?"
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"Yeah, hang on, one sec. Can I take this upstairs?"
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"Seriously? It's just these rooms?"
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"- I thought you were a doctor. - Yeah. No, Ross has a Ph.D."
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"Ew!"
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"God, she is unbelievable."
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"I know. I mean, a Ph.D. Is just as good as an MD."
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"Someone that I can spend this day with, and then his wife comes back into town!"
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"I swear, it's almost not even worth dating married guys."
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"God, I was so looking forward to this."
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"It was gonna be such a beautiful Thanksgiving."
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"We were gonna have sushi."
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"Amy, don't cry."
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"- Ross, can I talk to you in private? - Sure, you wanna go upstairs, or?"
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"Look, I was thinking, if it's okay with Monica..."
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"...I would like to invite Amy to Thanksgiving."
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"Look, I know she's a little tough to take."
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"- And I would like them to bond. - I don't want them bonding too much."
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"I don't want her telling Emma she needs a nose job."
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"Ross, she may need one. We're just gonna have to make our peace with that!"
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"- Hi! - Hey."
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"Hey, you guys. This is my sister Amy."
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"This is Chandler, Joey, Phoebe, and you know Mon."
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"- Hi. - Oh, my God."
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"You're on Days of our Lives!"
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"Yeah."
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"Wow! They must put a lot of makeup on you."
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"Happy Thanksgiving."
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"- Hey. - Hi."
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"So welcome. Is this the first time you're seeing Emma?"
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"Yeah, I think so. It's nice to meet you, Emma."
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"- Pheebs? I still need some help here. - Right. Okay."
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"So it's not just the lie you tell, but it's the way you tell it. For example..."
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"...if you look at the ground when you talk, people know you're lying."
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"I don't know why this is so hard for me. Lying is basically just acting..."
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"...and I am a terrific actor. - You are a terrific actor."
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"- Hey. Where's the baby? - We just put her down for a nap."
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"Listen, I was just thinking. You know what would be incredible?"
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"If you guys died!"
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"Thank you, Amy."
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"No, no, then I would get the baby."
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"It would be just like a movie. At first I wouldn't know what to do with her."
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"And then I would rise to the occasion. Then I'd get a makeover and get married."
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"That's a great movie!"
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"Yeah. Listen, not that you guys could stop me or anything..."
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"...because, you know, you'd be dead."
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"I'm just not really a big fan of Emily."
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"Emma."
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"Emma? Ross wants you."
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"Phoebe!"
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"Why does she keep making that noise?"
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"...but if something were to happen to Ross or myself..."
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"...you wouldn't get the baby. - Well, who would?"
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"Well, we haven't officially asked them yet..."
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"...but we would want Monica and Chandler."
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"I can't believe you'd want us to raise Emma."
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"Oh, my God, I'm so moved."
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"I don't believe this. Hold on a second. You guys die..."
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"...and I don't get your baby?"
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"We see them every day. And truthfully, you don't seem connected to the baby."
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"Connected? To what? She's a lump."
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"You know, guys, I've gotta say this means so much to me."
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"I mean, that you would trust me with your child."
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"I mean, we all know that Monica and I have been..."
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"That you two..."
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"- That you two... - This guy?"
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"Seriously?"
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"Okay, it's time for dinner."
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"Everyone, we're using our fancy china..."
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"...and it's very expensive, so please be careful."
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"Whoa. Whoa. Whoa..."
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"Okay, just to be clear, comedy with the plates will not be well-received."
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"Hey!"
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"How come my plate's less fancy than everyone else's?"
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"Do you not trust me with a fancy plate?"
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"See, it's a game. Whoever gets that plate wins."
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"I can't believe I won!"
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"You know, this is such a slap in the face. I mean, I'm your sister..."
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"...and you would give your baby to these strangers over me."
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"Monica is Ross' sister."
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"No, Ross' sister was really fat."
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"That was me."
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"No, she was this dorky girl in school who followed Rachel around like a puppy..."
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"Amy, you've got to stop doing that!"
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"Okay, listen, I know you're having a bit of a family crisis..."
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"I mean, in fact, I think that everyone..."
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"Now, see? This way, you protect the plates..."
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"Okay, how about this? If you guys die..."
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"...and the crazy plate lady dies..."
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"...then do I get the baby? - No, if crazy plate lady..."
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"If Monica dies, then I would get Emma. Right?"
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"- Well, actually... - Actually what?"
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"It's just... It's just that in that case..."
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"- What? - Hurts, doesn't it?"
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"Who has to die for me to get her?"
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"So if Monica's not around, I'm not good enough to raise Emma?"
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"Yeah, he's lying. He looked down."
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"Well, what's wrong with me? Am I incompetent?"
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"Because I managed to survive whatever it is that killed the three of you!"
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"You're taking this the wrong way. We think you'll be a wonderful parent."
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"It's just... You're more the, you know, fun parent."
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"Yeah, and we wanna make sure Emma also has someone like Monica..."
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"Someone who can be firm and strict."
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"That's not how you see me, is it?"
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"No, you're all about the fun."
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"No. You both are equally capable."
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"It's just you're strongest when you're together."
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"Sure. Monica would have to give her up."
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"Let me just get this straight. So my two friends die, I get Emma."
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"Then my wife dies. Then Emma, the one tiny ray of hope left in my life..."
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"...gets taken away from me? - There's your movie."
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"Hey, there you are."
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"- You disappeared after dinner. - Did somebody miss me?"
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