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Clips from Silicon Valley - White Hat/Black Hat (S02E02)

"Richard just told me about the Post-it. So, fuck you!"
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"You just fucked with the wrong hacker."
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"Fuck you, Gilfoyle!"
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"Fuck all of you Pied Piper fucks!"
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"Just watching and waiting."
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"I love kids. Not like that."
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"Why would do that? Why would you go talk to him?"
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"I don't know, you know."
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"I just felt bad for the guy, and he was not doing well."
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"I mean, what if I hadn't said anything and he'd have, you know... killed himself?"
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"Richard, you don't seem to understand what's going on."
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"What? I'm a black hat? How am I a black hat?"
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"And since the negative of a negative is a positive,"
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"Math aside, Richard, we're all black hats now."
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"The point is, what are we gonna do about Seth?"
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"How do you mean?"
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"Well, I mean, we have an unemployed"
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"and very pissed off systems guy,"
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"who very publicly threatened to skullfuck our whole system."
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"He's a coder."
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"By definition, we're all pussies."
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"and then he'll go LARPing and mogging"
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"Even if he does try to crack us, Richard,"
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"I built our network security myself."
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"I'm not worried about it at all."
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"Okay, because he said, and I quote..."
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"that he was going to skullfuck us!"
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"- You have a great daughter. - Come on, Ashley, let's go."
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"Go for Erlich."
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"Thanks for outing me."
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"That explains so much."
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"No, outing me for smoking."
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"I was heading home"
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"when my insane boss called me into the conference room"
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"for some kind of anti-smoking intervention."
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""No one ever died from secondhand heroin.""
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"Yeah, she said that."
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"Jian-Yang may have..."
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"but don't worry, I covered with aplomb."
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"That little weasel tells Laurie everything."
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"On that topic, what did you think of his app?"
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"The fundamental idea is sound."
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"An app that helps parents find the least crowded playgrounds."
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"The problem is, he's basically created the perfect tool"
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"Yes, and pedophiles are typically not early-adopters,"
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"so we would miss out on that whole market."
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"That's problematic."
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"I don't think what I saw was close to ready for Laurie."
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"Oh, really, Monica? I'm sorry that your boss"
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"but believe it or not I actually tried to have your back,"
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"and I was hoping you might do the same for me."
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"Then again, your judgment is suspect."
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"I smoke a few cigarettes a week."
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"Fine. I'll ask Laurie for five minutes, but that's it."
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"And te Jian-Yang he better bring it."
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"Monica, we may never know"
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"what indecipherable Chinese province Jian-Yang comes from,"
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"Jian-Yang was born to bring it, and you have got to try women."
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"I mean, just give it a chan..."
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"I'm sure the work that you have done so far has been very good."
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"But now that I am here, the real work begins,"
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"and time is of the essence."
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"I'm gonna need status reports from every department."
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"Where are we?"
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"Mmm? Yeah."
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"He met with the Nucleus team for 11 minutes."
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"Then he used his key card to exit the building."
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"Three minutes later, he was clocked at 73"
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"in a 25 zone going past our daycare center."
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"He never returned,"
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"and he hasn't responded to our calls or e-mail."
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"Bannerchek was gonna step in at the last minute"
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"and take a lot of the credit for Nucleus."
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"Now the world will know that you're responsible for Nucleus."
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"Okay, so no attempts to externally access the system?"
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"Same answer as I gave you the last three days. No."
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"Okay, okay. Our platform is basically built."
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"Tomorrow, Intersite is gonna start dumping"
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"We are gonna be the most vulnerable we've ever been."
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"ready to pounce"
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"Okay, well, frankly, your lack of paranoia is insane to me."
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"Now you're paranoid that we're not paranoid enough?"
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"Where are you going?"
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"To the kitchen."
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"What're you looking at?"
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"I'm glad you reached out."
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"Really? Just to be clear, no skullfucking of any kind?"
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"No. I guess I just needed to vent."
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"Actually, I was pretty worried"
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"that your were gonna do something crazy."
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"You can relax."
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"And please tell Gilfoyle I'm sorry for what I said,"
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"and that he can relax, too."
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"Oh, you don't have to worry about Gilfoyle."
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"He couldn't have cared less."
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"But this just really restores my faith that face-to-face meetings are the way to..."
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"That smug cocksucker didn't think I had the skills"
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"to break into his system, that motherfucker."
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"Hey, don't mention that I... Richard here just told me"
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"you're not afraid of me."
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"How you like me now, you cocksucking, motherfucking piece of shit?"
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"we realized that the same geo-tagging technology"
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"that could be used to locate uncrowded playgrounds"
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"by one of society's worst elements..."
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"Pedophiles."
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"we realized the same technology could also be used"
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"to create a real-time, crowd-sourced map"
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"of an even worse segment of the population."
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"Smokers."
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"Because, let's face it,"
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"True. True."
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"and thus avoid these self-indulgent,"
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"self-destructive, negligent monsters."
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"We call it "Smokation.""
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"It's a clever hybrid of "smoker" and "location.""
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"It's interesting."
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"It's interesting."
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"So what kind of term sheet do you think she's gonna lay on us?"
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"There's a lot of work to do,"
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"but you certainly knew how to play to your audience."
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