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Clips from The Simpsons - Sideshow Bob Roberts (S06E06)

"...author of well-selling book Only Turkeys Have Left Wings..."
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"That Barlow's a right-wing crackpot."
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"He said Ted Kennedy lacked integrity. Can you believe that?"
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"Yeah, switch the station. I consider myself politically correct."
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"One, the bats in the public library."
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"And three, our six-term mayor..."
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"Hey, I am no longer illiterate."
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"Now, why are we doomed to this Quimby quagmire, you ask..."
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"...who'd rather play Hacky Sack than lock up the homeless."
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"I don't like him either..."
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"- Bad student. - Bad principal."
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"I'll spare you the embarrassment of admitting you don't know who Bob is."
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"When he got out, he married Aunt Selma and tried to murder her."
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"Oh, Sideshow Bob."
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"And now the Funny 5..."
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"Convicted of a crime I didn't even commit."
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"Do they give a Nobel Prize for attempted chemistry? Do they?"
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"Just like Colonel Oliver North, Officer Stacey Koon..."
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"My friends, Bob is a political prisoner."
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"I want every loyal listener to do everything they can..."
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"...to get him out of jail."
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"All right, you heard the man."
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"One grenade each."
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"...you are hereby granted a full and complete pardon."
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"- Boat's on the other side. - Yes, thank you."
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"Now, then, gentlemen, the mayoral campaign is upon us."
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"...we need a candidate with name recognition and media savvy."
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"Monty, I'm way ahead of you."
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"If you'll just open that door, you'll see the next mayor of Springfield."
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"A fine mahoq to you all."
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"I want you on your best behavior for this choreographed media event."
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"Hello, Bart."
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"Do you know what he does? He flip-flops."
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"Help! I'm being attacked by things."
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"Uncle Mayor was just saying that us kids..."
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"Yes."
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"...and lived to tell about it."
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"Stay out of Riverdale."
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"Without Mayor Quimby Our town would really stink"
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"Mayor Quimby supports revolving-door prisons."
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"Mayor Quimby even released Sideshow Bob..."
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"...a man twice convicted of attempted murder."
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"I hope that flu doesn't affect his performance out there."
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"...but I do approve of his Selma-killing policy."
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"...for Mayor Terwilliger's victory speech."
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"...of our new Matlock Expressway."
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"Now, I am a fair man."
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"You will have 72 hours to vacate."
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"Well, yes. But not for four or five years. Bart, you're going to kindergarten."
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"Cool. I call the Flintstone phone."
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"All 48,000 voters and who each one of them voted for."
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"We're gonna have to move into a Motel 6."
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"I found Edgar Neubauer."
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"She voted for Bob too."
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"So did Buddy Holly, Richie Valens, and the Big Bopper."
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"No, I did not."
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"Oh, I don't mind."
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"That way, they can sleep soundly tonight on their hard, feculent motel pillows."
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"Tomorrow we were gonna find out who the dish ran away with."
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"Someday, I'll have my vengeance."
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"[ENGLISH]"
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"No sports, no rock No information"
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"For mindless chatter We're your station"
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"His views make me uncomfortable."
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"No, no, no, guys. Now, I'm not very political."
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"I usually think people who vote are a bit fruity."
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"But for some reason, this Birch Barlow really speaks to me."
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"Good morning, freedom-likers."
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"Birch Barlow, the fourth branch of government, the 51st state."
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"You know, there are three things we'll never get rid of in Springfield:"
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"Two, Mrs. McFearley's compost heap."
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"...the illiterate, tax-cheating, pot-smoking spend-o-crat..."
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"...Diamond Joe Quimby."
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"...O reasonable listener?"
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"Because this town is under the stranglehold..."
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"...of a few tie-dyed "tree-huggers"..."
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"This sounds awfully controversial."
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"Lisa, you know I don't like controversy in this house."
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"...but I'm doing a report on local politics for my school project."
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"You think you're so big because your class always gets to do projects."
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"Well, I'm doing a school project on fireworks."
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"Bart, I wish you wouldn't lie like that."
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"...to our visiting Chinese principals..."
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"...Bart Simpson has promised us a fireworks display."
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"- Cool. - Cool."
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"What a week. He promise a big firework display."
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"I had to listen to this jerk all morning. Can we listen to something else?"
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"When I'm driving the car, I get to choose the radio station."
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"When you're driving, we'll listen to your radio station."
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"I can't take this anymore. Let's switch back."
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"Let's go to the phones. First up is Bob from South Springfield."
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"- Welcome to you, sir. - Hello, Birch."
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"Long-time listener, first-time caller."
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"It's time people realized we conservatives aren't all Johnny Hatemongers..."
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"...and Charlie Bible-Thumps or even, God forbid, George Bushes."
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"That sounds like Sideshow Bob."
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"Yes, ma'am. Sideshow Bob, yakking it up on the old yak box."
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"But in 1990, he framed Krusty for armed robbery, and Bart got him put in jail."
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"Bart, your mortal enemy is on the radio."
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"It's time for more dementia with Dr. Demento."
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"I meant your other mortal enemy. Sideshow Bob."
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"Sideshow Bob?"
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"I'm only 10, and I already got two mortal enemies."
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"And this proposed expressway will bring increased commerce..."
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"...to our local merchants."
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"What's in it for us?"
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"Give us something we like, or we'll ride you out of town on a rail."
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"Well, what do you people like?"
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"- Sleep. - Sexy dames, and plenty of them."
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"Matlock!"
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"Well, I suppose I could name it the Matlock Expressway."
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"Now, you mentioned some woes there."
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"Attempted murder. Now, honestly, what is that?"
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"Oh, really. Now, this is a personal call."
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"Now, my friends, isn't this just typical?"
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"Another intelligent conservative here railroaded by our liberal justice system."
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"...and cartoon smokesperson Joe Camel."
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"Well, I've had it."
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"I am gonna make it my mission to see that our friend Bob is set free."
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"No!"
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