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Clips from The Simpsons - Lisa's Sax (S09E09)

"- ## [Singing] - ## [Piano]"
The Simpsons
"## [Singing Together]"
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"And that, my children..."
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"is the story of Bart's first day of school."
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"- Very nice. - Yeah."
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"Yeah. Except you were supposed to be telling the story of how I got my saxophone."
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"D'oh!"
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"Homer, I can't get the baby to burp. Could you try for a while?"
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"No problem. I'll just give her a sip of beer."
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"Come on, Maggie, it's Miller time. Yes, it's Miller time."
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"- Homer! - Oh, my father gave me beer as a child..."
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"till I wrapped my little red wagon around a tree."
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"[All Groaning]"
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"Let's never drink again."
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"And we never did."
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"Mom, can you tell me the story of how I got my saxophone..."
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"and not have it turn into a story about Bart?"
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"Oh, sure, honey."
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"- Bart had just completed his first day at school, and Bart- - Mom!"
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"Hey, she's just giving the public what it wants- Bart by the barrelful."
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"Sorry, Lisa. It's just how the story goes."
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"A-B-C-"
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"- Uh, line? - "D.""
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"D-E- Um, line?"
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""F," Bart. And believe me, you'll be seeing plenty of'em."
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"Bart, would you like to read a book?"
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"- No. - Would you like to color something?"
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"Mmm."
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"## [Saxophone]"
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"[Man on TV] That's damn fine coffee you got here in Twin Reaks..."
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"and damn good cherry pie."
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"Brilliant. [Laughs]"
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"I have absolutely no idea what's going on."
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"Homer, I want you to look at this drawing Bart did."
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"Oh, it's beautiful!"
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"Oh! Oh, let's put Bart's beautiful drawing up on the fridge."
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"Homer, stop. Would you please look at the drawing?"
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"Oh, all right. What a-"
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"- I think we're going to have to get Bart some help. - Get it away."
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"- Bart, Son? You want to play catch? - No."
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"When a boy doesn't want to play catch with his old man, something is seriously wrong."
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"I'll play catch with you, Son."
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"physically your son is as sound as a dollar."
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"I'm afraid Bart's severe emotional dysfunction..."
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"stems from a deep-seated psychological trauma."
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"[Laughs]"
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"[Marge Narrating] With nowhere else to turn, we went to see the school psychologist."
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"Mr. and Mrs. Simpson, there's nothing to be alarmed about."
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"Public school can be intimidating to a young child..."
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"particularly one with as many flamboyantly homosexual tendencies as your son."
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"- Bart's gay? - Bart? Uh-Whoo! Wrong file."
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"Uh, the point I'm trying to make here is..."
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"that Bart must learn to be less of an individual..."
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"and more a faceless slug."
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"- Mm-hmm. - Hmm. Lisa, how old are you?"
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"I am three and three eighths."
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"Hmm. Lisa, if I have five apples, and I take away three apples..."
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"how many apples do I have left?"
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"- Two apples. - Wait a minute."
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"- She's right. - Yes. Very good."
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"Marge, Homer, I believe your Lisa may be gifted."
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"That's wonderful. But still, can't you do anything for Bart?"
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"Marge, he's five. His life is over. Lisa's the wave of the future."
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"- Wave of the future! - [Chuckles] That's right, honey."
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"If you nurture her gift now, there's no telling what she can do."
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"Wow, just think of the possibilities."
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"[Man] Lisa Simpson has won the Nobel Rrize."
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"Nah."
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"[Man] Lisa Simpson has won the Nobel Rrize for kickboxing."
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"- [Grunts] - Hmm."
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"Uh, I'll give you the address of a nice preschool."
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"##[Girls Singing]"
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"I can assure you, our preschool is of the highest quality."
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"Our little girl has a gift, and we're willing to do what it takes to help her."
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"Very good. Once we receive your $6,000 tuition check, she's in."
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"- I'll give you 50 bucks. - Our fee is nonnegotiable."
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"- Seventy-five. - Look, I knew private school would be expensive..."
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"but I was hoping we could get a scholarship of some sort."
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"Sorry. I don't have anything to offer you unless you're a member of a minority group."
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"- Sorry. - [Chinese Accent] Aah, so."
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"Come on, honey."
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"I guess this is a world you'll never know."
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"Our family was suffering through its worst crisis ever."
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"Bart was miserable at school..."
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"Uh, Homer? It's five years later, and I'm still miserable at school."
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"And my gifts are still going to waste."
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"I just wanna scream till my lungs explode. [Gasps]"
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"I'll go start dinner now."
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"- You do that. - [Marge Grumbles]"
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"- Hello. - Dad, what are you doir here?"
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"Lookir for my teeth."
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"[Muffled Barking]"
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"Well, Grampa, as long as you're here..."
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"we were telling a story that took place..."
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"when Bart was five and Lisa was three."
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"Oh, I know this story."
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"The year is 19-aught-six."
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"The president is the divine Miss Sarah Bernardt."
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"And all over America..."
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"people were doir a dance called the Funky Grandpa."
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"## [Singing]"
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"Yes."
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"Well, as if our troubles werert bad enough..."
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"Springfield was going through an unseasonable heat wave."
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"[Kent Brockman On TV] And so Springfield's heat wave continues..."
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"with today's temperature exceeding the record for this date..."
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"set way back four billion years ago..."
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"when the Earth was just a ball of molten lava."
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"Oh, so hot."
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"Homer, have you seen the frozen peas?"
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"- [Grunts] - Um, you keep 'em."
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"Now listen, if we can't afford private school..."
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"maybe there's some other way to encourage Lisa."
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"They have some fun things you can do at the museum on Saturday."
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"Uh-uh. Forget it, Marge. There is no way I'm spending my Saturdays at a museum."
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"Unless- Museums don't have foosball, do they?"
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"- [Dings] - You lose, Michelangelo's David. Who's next?"
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"Me!"
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"Oh, I guess it doesn't matter."
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"All these things cost money, and we just don't have it."
The Simpsons
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