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Clips from The Simpsons - Lisa's Sax (S09E09)

"- Unless- - Unless what?"
The Simpsons
"Well, there's that $200 we've been saving for the new air conditioner."
The Simpsons
"Oh, Marge, but we've needed a new air conditioner for years."
The Simpsons
"And our stop-gap solution is getting cranky."
The Simpsons
"[Yowls]"
The Simpsons
"and you aren't helping a bit."
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"Marge, name one successful person who ever lived without air conditioning."
The Simpsons
"- Balzac. - No need for potty mouth just because you can't think of one."
The Simpsons
"- But Balzac is the name. - [Babbling]"
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"If ifs and buts were candy and nuts-"
The Simpsons
"- Uh, how does the rest of that go? - Please..."
The Simpsons
"just promise you won't buy an air conditioner till we've figured out a way to help Lisa."
The Simpsons
"All right, all right. I promise."
The Simpsons
"Must be another way to get an air conditioner."
The Simpsons
"[Machinery Whirring]"
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"Mmm, recirculated air."
The Simpsons
"[Meows, Shivering]"
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"- Uh, Homer? - What, Flanders?"
The Simpsons
"Well, sir, I hate to be a suspicious Aloysius on you..."
The Simpsons
"but did you steal my air conditioner?"
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"Well, I admit it looks bad, Flanders, but haven't you heard of..."
The Simpsons
""Let he who is without sin cast the first stone"? [Groans]"
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"- Got him, Dad. - [Groans]"
The Simpsons
"And so, just as things looked their worst-"
The Simpsons
"I realized I could make money selling my medication to deadheads."
The Simpsons
"Grampa, what are you talking about?"
The Simpsons
"As I was saying, things couldn't be worse for Lisa or Bart."
The Simpsons
""And the ugly duckling was amazed to realize it had grown into a beautiful swan.""
The Simpsons
"So you see, children, there is hope for anyone."
The Simpsons
"- Even me? - No."
The Simpsons
"- Hi. - I have soy milk."
The Simpsons
"The doctor says the real kind could kill me."
The Simpsons
"I wish I was interesting like you."
The Simpsons
"Yeah."
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"- And the world needs a clown. - Hmm."
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"[Imitates Fart] Doody. Booger."
The Simpsons
"Man, that is killer material."
The Simpsons
"- ## [Singing] - Young man, I can assure you..."
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"my posterior is nothing more than flesh, bone and that metal plate I got in 'Nam."
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"- [Gulps] - I want you to knock off that potty talk right now."
The Simpsons
"The principal said "potty.""
The Simpsons
"[Grumbles]"
The Simpsons
"You listen to me, son. You've just started school..."
The Simpsons
"and the path you choose now may be the one you follow for the rest of your life."
The Simpsons
"Now, what do you say?"
The Simpsons
"Eat my shorts."
The Simpsons
"- All right, I'll eat- Eat your shorts? - [Kids Laughing]"
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"Yeah, eat my shorts. ## [Singing]"
The Simpsons
"- Buttman? - [Grunts]"
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"[Giggles] He's the greatest showman since that kid who eats worms."
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"My 15 minutes of fame are over."
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"[Homer] Well, Moe, this is it. Today's the day I get my new air conditioner."
The Simpsons
"- I'm Lisa. - She has a gift."
The Simpsons
"You have 13 pickled eggs in this jar..."
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"and one cockroach."
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"[Laughs]"
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"Who are you, sweetheart, the health inspector?"
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"No, but I am."
The Simpsons
"Uh, here, have a margarita."
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"Uh, that's a parasol."
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"[Gasps] Ooh."
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"[Gurgling]"
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"[Laughing]"
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"Wow."
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"Musical instrument? Could that be a way to encourage a gifted child?"
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"Just give me a sign."
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"Works for me."
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"Uh, what do you like, Lisa?"
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""Viomalin"? "Tubamaba"?"
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"- "Oboemoboe"? - That one."
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"Oh, "saxomaphone.""
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"Two hundred dollars?"
The Simpsons
"Oh, I'll take it."
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"- ## [Note Plays] - [Giggling]"
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"- Would you like an inscription, sir? - Yeah."
The Simpsons
"And that inscription is still there today."
The Simpsons
"Wow. So that's how Lisa got her sax."
The Simpsons
"Next, I'll tell you the origin of Maggie's pacifier."
The Simpsons
"What origin? We get 'em for $ 1.95 down at the Safeway."
The Simpsons
"Well, I really liked that story, but it still doesn't fix this."
The Simpsons
"You know, Homer, I think we have some money..."
The Simpsons
"in the air conditioner account again, hmm?"
The Simpsons
"Oh, but, Marge..."
The Simpsons
"am I doomed to spend the rest of my life sweating like a pig?"
The Simpsons
"Yeah, not to mention lookir like a pig, eatir like a pig-"
The Simpsons
"- Don't forget the smell. - Will you get off my front lawn?"
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"- Why don't you make me? - Why? Oh, I give up."
The Simpsons
"Well, don't worry about me, Dad. [Chuckles]"
The Simpsons
"[Reporter On TV] Well, sir, we got a scorcher today."
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"the iced tea brewed by hippies..."
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"but distributed by a heartless, multinational corporation."
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""Dear Lisa..."
The Simpsons
"may your new saxophone bring you years of d'oh!""
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"## [Rock]"
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"- ## [Continues] - ##[Band Joins In]"
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"You're a good father."
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"I learned from the master."
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"Where's Maggie?"
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"Where's Maggie? I'm not kiddir."
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"I can't see. My retinas have detached again."
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"[Laughing]"
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"- He is blind as a bat. - That's right."
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"- [Laughing] - It's true."
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"##[Saxophone]"
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"Blackmail and Laughter."
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"[Shouts, Gasps]"
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"Honey?"
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"- [Laughing] You're funny. - I am?"
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"Congratulations. Who's the little chick?"
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"To Lisa: Never forget your daddy loves- D'oh!"
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"And to cool off, nothir beats Fruitopia-"
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"##[Ends]"
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"Uh, hi."
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"Oh, the hell with it."
The Simpsons
"[Honking]"
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"##[Men Harmonizing]"
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"[Screams] Burn it! Send it to hell!"
The Simpsons