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Clips from The Simpsons - Pray Anything (S14E14)

"Oh, it's not fair. I always wanted to drive a food-shaped car."
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"Heh, the steering wheel is a giant onion ring."
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"How come all the good things happen to Jesus H. Nice?"
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"By which I mean Flanders."
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"- D'oh! - Huh?"
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"- D'oh! - Huh?"
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"D'oh!"
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"D'oh!"
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"The grass is actually greener on Flanders' side."
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"That's because you keep passing out on our lawn."
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"No, that's not it. He's got some secret."
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"And I'm gonna find out what it is, no matter what it takes."
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"Well, heh, whatever I've got, I owe to hard work, honest living..."
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"...and flossing my teeth, tail and toes. Plus a prayer now and then."
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"So that's all it takes."
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"A little prayer."
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"A documentary by Ken Burns about the life of Ken Burns."
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"Ew! Where's the remote?"
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"Ever since he was a young man..."
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"Baseball and jazz."
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"Well, if I don't have the remote..."
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"Oh, merciful God..."
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"...who has blessed mankind with two kinds of clam chowder..."
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"...help me find the remote."
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"There it is."
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"Die monster!"
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"From now on, I'll pray till my hands are chapped and bleeding."
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"5.2, 5.2, 5.2, 5.1, 5.3."
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"- Ooh, low marks. - I've never seen Noodles this mad."
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"She's throwing her diaper at the judges."
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"Hmm. Vengeful God, loving God."
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"Vengeful God, loving God."
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"Vengeful God, loving God."
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"Vengeful God, loving God."
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"Vengeful God, loving God."
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"I used to think God only helped professional athletes..."
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"...and Grammy winners."
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"But now I realize he helps shmoes like me too, Carl."
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"Whose banana you gotta peel to get a 5.9? Pfft!"
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"Bacon just got a new best friend: fudge."
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"Oh, heavenly God, my son is plagued with homework."
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"With your vast knowledge of "The Shore Birds of Maryland"..."
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"...I know you can help him."
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"Homer, God isn't some kind of holy concierge."
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"You can't keep bugging him for every little thing."
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"Can and will. Now, to unstop the sink."
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"...then take some time off for yourself."
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"Oh, Lord, I see thou art working through thy imperfect vessel, Marge..."
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"...for thou art most wise..."
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"You know, most people pray silently."
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"- Trees have gotten into your plumbing. - How bad is it?"
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"I don't think that moisture's gonna do wonders for your drywall."
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"You was hiding behind the drywall."
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"Yes, you were. I'm glad social services didn't see this. Yes, I am."
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"Dad, are you hurt?"
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"I think my leg is broken."
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"Slip and fall? Can't go back to work?"
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"I'm Larry H. Lawyer, Junior. And I will fight for you."
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"I also habla Español."
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"They'll poke fun at us in the church bulletin."
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"It wouldn't be the first time."
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"I couldn't help it. Those pews are so comfortable."
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"He got me $60,000. And I was driving drunk in a graveyard."
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"According to this book, that's a big plus."
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"Now, hearing Homer Simpson v. The First Church of Springfield."
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"Morning, judge. How is your lovely wife?"
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"I can't see anything in this fog."
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"Back to you, Bob Saget."
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"Can I get that in lottery tickets?"
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"Well, Your Honor, we don't have that kind of money."
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"We're not a synagogue."
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"You're giving him the church?"
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"He's not giving it to me. God is because I prayed for it."
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"Dad, I think this might be the work of Satan."
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"Homer, for the last time, please give the church back."
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"That is gonna drive me nuts."
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"Look. This church is our only option."
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"Don't you kids wanna live here?"
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"Anything's better than that dump we came from."
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"And there's so many places to cloister myself."
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"Oh, and Wednesday is garbage day."
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"- Sweet. - I'm so sorry, Reverend."
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"And, girl you were made for me"
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"...I'd still be sucking the juice out of glow sticks."
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"- Oh, yeah. - I've been there."
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"But this is our dog's room now."
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"And what church might that be?"
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"- Oh, I've heard of them. - Yeah, okay. Let's go there."
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"Homer, that was not very Christian of you."
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"...by throwing the bitchingest beer bash this church has ever seen."
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"Bless you."
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"Wow, Homer, this is like a party Dick Clark would throw."
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"Yeah. Fun, but not too fun."
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"So where's Marge?"
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"Uh, she went to Lovejoy's temporary church."
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"She's worried about her immortal soul."
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"He said to his disciples..."
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"Dr. Hibbert, must you play the claw machine?"
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"I'll be right there. I've almost got me a kitty cat."
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"Particularly the part about the pin in the gutter on lane 15."
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"Ugh, that wasn't me. That was the manager."
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"Are you sure? Because it really spoke to me."
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"It looks like God has packed up and left Springfield."
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"Ah, no. No, you're lying. You're lying."
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"What makes you lie?"
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"Good evening. Springfield is grappling tonight..."
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"...with the departure of Rev. Timothy Lovejoy, Bible nut."
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"How is our community coping with this spiritual vacuum?"
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"Let's ask Arnie Pie in the sky."
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"You wanna know what I see, Kent?"
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"I see a slow news day with nothing to fill it."
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"You're supposed to be filming people coping with the loss of their church."
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"This house-warming party's been going on for two days."
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"I just made a Cornish game hen with chestnut stuffing."
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"Would you believe a pigeon stuffed with Spam?"
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"A rat filled with cough drops?"
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"That's it. The whole shebang."
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"Are you with me, boys?"
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"Speaking in tongues, what great kids."
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"Ha, ha, read them and strip, Barn."
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