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Clips from The Big Bang Theory - The Fuzzy Boots Corollary (S01E01)

"Probably a romantic comedy featuring the talents..."
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"Interesting."
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"And would you agree the primary way we would evaluate..."
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"...the success or failure of the date would be based on the biochemical reaction..."
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"- ...during the good-night kiss? - Heart rate, pheromones, etcetera, yes."
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"Why don't we stipulate the date goes well..."
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"...and move to the key variable?"
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"- you mean kiss you now? - yes."
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"- Define the parameters of the kiss. - Closed mouth, but romantic."
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"- Mint? - Thank you."
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"- Shall I count down from three? - No, I think it needs to be spontaneous."
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"Sheldon, if you were a robot and I knew and you didn't..."
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"...would you want me to tell you?"
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"That depends."
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"When I learn that I'm a robot, will I be able to handle it?"
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"Maybe, although the history of science fiction is not on your side."
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"Okay. Uh, let me ask you this."
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"When I learn that I'm a robot..."
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"...would I be bound by Asimov's Three Laws of Robotics?"
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"That's true."
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"Have you ever harmed yourself, except in cases where a human being..."
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"...would have been endangered?"
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"- Hey, what's going on? - lnternet's been down for half an hour."
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"So how did it go with Leslie?"
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"Oh, we tried kissing, but the Earth didn't move."
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"I mean, any more than the 383 miles that it was gonna move anyway."
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"Oh, I've seen that look before."
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"This is just gonna be two weeks of moping and tedious emo songs..."
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"...and calling me to come down to pet stores to look at cats."
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"I don't know if I can take it."
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"you could power down."
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"Well, as usual, Wolowitz has the solution."
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"I happen to know a place where there are plenty of eligible women..."
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"...and Leonard could have his pick."
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"Remember the Latin hips."
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"Shoulders stay still and we sway."
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"Oh, good Lord."
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"God, that's a good song."
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"If you're compiling a mix CD for a double suicide."
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"Oh, I hope that scratching post is for you."
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"I know what you're thinking. I've taken your asthma into account."
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"There's a feline geneticist in San Diego..."
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"...who's developed the cutest little hypoallergenic calicos."
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"- Listen-- - I've been thinking about names."
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"I'm kind of torn between Einstein, Newton and Sergeant Fuzzy Boots."
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"Do you think you can satisfy your need for a relationship..."
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"...with a genetically-altered cat?"
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"Maybe, if it's a cute little cuddly cat."
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"Oh, come on, Leonard...."
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"This is obviously about Penny."
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"It doesn't matter."
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"The woman's not interested in me. The woman rejected me."
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"Okay, look. Ahem."
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"You have as much of a chance of having a sexual relationship with Penny..."
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"- Oh, hey, Leonard. - Good afternoon, Penny."
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"So, hi, hey. Uh...."
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"I was wondering if you had plans for dinner."
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"Uh, you mean, dinner tonight?"
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"There is an inherent ambiguity in the word "dinner.""
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"Oh, you know, Sheldon, Howard, Raj. Who all is coming?"
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"They..."
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"...might all be there."
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"Or a subset of them might be there."
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"Algebraically speaking, there are too many unknowns."
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"For example, Sheldon had Quizno's for lunch."
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"Sometimes he finds that filling, other times he doesn't."
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"Okay, whatever, it sounds like fun."
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"Great."
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"- Did we say a time? - Six-thirty."
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"Still good?"
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"- It's fine. - It's not carved in stone."
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"No. Six-thirty is great."
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"I'll get my chisel. Heh-heh."
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"Why?"
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"Could you be more specific?"
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"Can you tell I'm perspiring a little?"
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"No. The dark crescent-shaped patterns under your arms conceal it nicely."
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"- What time is your date? - Six-thirty."
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"Perfect, that gives you two hours and 15 minutes..."
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"...for that dense molecular cloud of Aramis to dissipate."
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"- ls it too much? - Not if you're a rugby team."
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"By the way, you didn't join us because you stuffed yourself..."
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"...with a chicken carbonara sub at Quizno's."
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"Why would I join you?"
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"No reason."
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"Oh, you know what? Maybe this isn't such a good idea."
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"Oh, no, well, now, there's always the possibility..."
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"...that alcohol and poor judgment on her part..."
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"you're right. Alcohol, poor judgment. It could go well."
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"Of course, there's the other possibility that this day kicks off..."
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"...an unpleasant six months of you passing awkwardly in the hall..."
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"...until one of you breaks down and moves to another zip code."
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"you could have stopped at, "lt could go well.""
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"If I could have, I would have."
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"I mean, I'm a perfectly nice guy. There's no reason..."
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"...we couldn't go to the restaurant and have a lovely dinner."
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""you love pottery? I love pottery.""
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"you know, there's a pause. We both know what's happening."
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"But I realize, she's kissing me back, she's biting my lower lip."
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"She wants me. This thing is going the distance."
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"Is the sex starting now?"
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"I'm having a panic attack."
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"Oh, okay. Well, then, calm down."
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"If I could, I wouldn't be having an attack."
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"- That's why they call it a panic attack. - All right."
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"Would you just sit down?"
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"- yeah, sit down. Now close your eyes. - Why?"
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"- Well, just do it. - Okay."
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"Now, try to increase your alpha-wave activity."
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"- What? - It's a biofeedback technique."
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"It was sparsely sourced, but I think the science is valid."
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"I probably have it here somewhere."
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"Who am I kidding? I can't go through with this."
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"- you need to call her and cancel. - Me?"
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"- yes. - What should I tell her?"
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"- I don't know. Tell her I'm sick. - Okay."
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"Not the kind that would make her wanna take care of me."
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"But nothing so critical that she'll feel uncomfortable if I wanna try this again."
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"I'll just tell her that you had a routine colonoscopy..."
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"...and haven't quite bounced back."
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