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Clips from The Big Bang Theory - The Fuzzy Boots Corollary (S01E01)

"I am the sword master."
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"Goodbye, peasants."
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"I'm a rogue knight elf."
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"I am the sword master."
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"Whoo! I'm all sweaty."
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"Don't forget the mail you took so you'd have an excuse to talk to her."
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"- Doug, this is my neighbor, Leonard. - What's up, bro?"
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"The dietitian at the cafeteria with the limp and the lazy eye?"
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"...with a neurochemical overlay."
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"...of Hugh Grant or Sandra Bullock."
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"you might be bound by them right now."
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"- Have you ever harmed a human being? - Of course not."
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"Also, Sheldon may be a robot."
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"Oh, yeah-- No."
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"It's no fault of Quizno's. They have a varied menu."
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"...might lead to a nice romantic evening."
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"Maybe take a walk afterwards, talk about things we have in common."
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"We're gonna have sex. Oh, God, oh, my God."
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"It's relaxation through brainwave manipulation."
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"Got it. So I'm assuming nothing venereal."
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"...and Sheldon had a colonoscopy, and he hasn't quite bounced back yet."
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"...say, one glorious summer?"
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"Was this supposed to be a date?"
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"All right, just a few more feet and...."
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"Here we are, gentlemen, the Gates of Elzebub."
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"- Good Lord. - Oh."
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"Don't panic. This is what the last 97 hours have been about."
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"Stay frosty."
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"There's a horde of armed goblins on that gate guarding the Sword of Azeroth."
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"Warriors, unsheathe your weapons. Magic wielders, raise your wands."
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"Lock and load."
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"Raj, blow the gates."
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"Blowing the gates."
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"Control, shift B."
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"- Oh, my God, so many goblins. - Aah!"
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"Don't just stand there. Slash and move."
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"Stay in formation."
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"- Leonard, you got one on your tail. - That's all right, my tail's prehensile."
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"I got him, Leonard."
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"Tonight, I spice my meat with goblin blood."
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"Raj, it's a trap. They're flanking us."
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"- Oh, he's got me. - Oh!"
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"Sheldon. Sheldon."
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"I've got the Sword of Azeroth."
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"- Forget the sword, Sheldon, help Raj. - There is no more Sheldon."
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"- Leonard, look out. - Damn it, man, we're dying here."
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"The bastard teleported."
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"He's selling the Sword of Azeroth on eBay."
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"You betrayed us for money? Who are you?"
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"Don't you people read character descriptions?"
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"Wait, wait, wait. Somebody just clicked "Buy It Now.""
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"Wanna log on to Second Life and go swimming?"
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"I just built a virtual pool."
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"No. I can't look at you or your avatar right now."
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"Sounds like your neighbor's home."
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"Excuse me."
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"Oh, right, right, right."
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"Stealing snail mail, very old school. I like it."
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"Penny, the mailman did it again. He-- Oh, sorry."
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"Um, no, hi, Leonard. This is Doug."
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"Not much."
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"Bro. Heh."
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"Is everything okay?"
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"yeah, no. I just-- I got your mail again, here."
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"Oh, thank you. I've got to talk to that mailman."
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"Oh, no, that's probably not such a good idea."
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"Civil servants have a documented propensity to, you know, snap, so...."
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"Okay. Well, thank you again."
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"No problem. Bye."
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"Oh, and bye, bro. Heh."
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"Penny for your thoughts."
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"- What's the matter? - No, I'm fine."
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"Penny's fine, the guy she's kissing is really fine."
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"Kissing? What kind of kissing? Cheeks, lips, chase, French?"
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"What is wrong with you?"
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"I'm a romantic."
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"Don't tell me that your hopeless infatuation..."
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"...is devolving into pointless jealousy."
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"Look, I'm not jealous. I'm just a little concerned for her."
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"Didn't like the look of the guy she was with."
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"Because he looks better than you?"
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"yeah."
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"He was kind of dreamy."
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"At least now you can retrieve the black box..."
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"...from the smoldering wreckage that was once your fantasy of dating her..."
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"...and analyze the data so that you don't crash into geek mountain again."
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"I disagree. Love is not a sprint. It's a marathon."
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"A relentless pursuit that only ends when she falls into your arms..."
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"...or hits you with the pepper spray."
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"No, I'm done with Penny."
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"I'm gonna be more realistic and go after someone my own speed."
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"- Like who? - I don't know."
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"Olivia Geiger?"
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"- yeah. - Well, I don't think you have a shot there."
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"I have noticed that Leslie Winkle recently started shaving her legs."
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"Now, given that winter is coming, one can assume she's signaling..."
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"...sexual availability."
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"I don't know. you guys work in the same lab."
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"- So? - There are pitfalls."
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"Trust me, I know."
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"When it comes to sexual-harassment law..."
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"...I'm a bit of a self-taught expert."
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"Howard, if I were to ask Leslie Winkle out, it would just be for dinner."
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"I'm not gonna walk into the lab, ask her to strip naked and dance for me."
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"Oh, then you're probably okay."
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"- Hello, Leslie. - Hi, Leonard."
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"- I'd like to propose an experiment-- - Goggles."
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"Right."
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"- I would like to propose an experiment. - Hang on."
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"I'm trying to see how long it takes a 500-kilowatt oxygen-iodine laser..."
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"...to heat up my cup of noodles."
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"I've done it. About two seconds, 2.6 for minestrone."
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"Anyway, I was thinking more of a biosocial exploration..."
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"Wait, are you asking me out?"
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"I was going to characterize it as the modification..."
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"...of our colleague/friendship paradigm with the addition of a date-like component."
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"But we don't need to quibble over terminology."
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"What sort of experiment would you propose?"
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"There is a generally accepted pattern in this area."
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"I pick you up, take you to a restaurant, then we would see a movie."
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