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Clips from The Simpsons - Homer the Father (S22E22)

"for getting good grades?"
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"I've been doing the family's books for years."
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"I take what I need."
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"You were right, Dad."
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"By not telling the teacher that Jimmy cheated"
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"on the French test, it's like I cheated."
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"Well, as they say in Paris,"
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""Ma voiture est pleine de crème glacée.""
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"You just said, "My car is full of ice cream.""
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"Dad, if I get an "A" on my math test,"
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"would that be worth some money?"
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"Well, in season two, when Sam got good grades,"
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"he got a very surprising reward."
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"And if you do it, son, you'll get the same."
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"There's no way that means anything"
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"other than I get a minibike."
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"To the library!"
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"Hmm?"
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"Hmm..."
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"Aah! 'Tis the playground ghost!"
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"I swear I didn't mean to kill ya!"
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"It's me, Willie-- Bart Simpson."
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"Oh, oh, right."
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"There's no such thing as a playground ghost."
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"How could you mistake him for me?"
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"It was that sassy mouth that got ye killed in the first place."
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"TV ANNOUNCER: Coming up next on Tube Town:"
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"he's in your face from outer space--"
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"Upscalien in Da House!"
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"♪ From the fanciest planet in the Milky Way ♪"
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"♪ Stole his dad's ship, took it for a trip ♪"
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"♪ Saw Lake Erie on his radar and he thought he'd take a dip. ♪"
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"I did it. I got an "A"!"
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"That's great."
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"Uh, Dad, if we could get to the reward...?"
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"Son, you already have your reward--"
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"the feeling of accomplishment you can only get from hard work."
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"I wanted a minibike!"
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"Well, if they care that much"
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"about whether you have a minibike,"
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"then they weren't really your friends."
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"Yes, they were!"
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"But now they won't be!"
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"Because I don't have a minibike!"
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"But it could use a button."
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"Oh, well, what if I said..."
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"Well, if you..."
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"Eh."
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"We now return to I Lost Lucy."
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"Mrs. Carbuncle, I need you back at the bank."
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"Robert Wagner is coming in to open a checking account."
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"the '80s classic, Supreme Courtney."
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"...according to the principle sublato fundamento, cadit opus,"
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"we need to look at Hargrove v. the State of New York,"
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"in which the court firmly adhered to the..."
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"Stupid jerk."
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"He owes me a minibike, and I am going to get it."
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"Hey, Apu."
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"Mr. Homer, you inadvertently left"
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"your nuclear plant security badge in the birthday card rack."
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"Can't lose that."
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"It's the best picture of me I have."
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"Well, I am more concerned with global terrorism."
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"America's enemies would give anything"
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"for your nuclear knowledge."
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"Yeah, I do know a lot about nuclears."
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"China, Mordor,"
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"the hoochies that laid low Tiger Woods,"
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"undesirable immigrants, by which I mean"
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"everyone that came after me, including my children..."
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"...so I'm offering to trade your country nuclear secrets"
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"for a minibike."
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"Concludingly yours, Bart Simpson."
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"Hmm... hmm!"
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"Marge, would you like a Thicker Than Waters collectible plate?"
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"Homer, you can't order anything from that magazine."
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"It's 25 years old."
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"Oh, yeah? I'll show you."
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"Did I get any mail today, Mom?"
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"Uh, well, of course you did."
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"A gutter cleaning coupon?"
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"Hey, they're your gutters, too."
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"Oh!"
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"Huh?"
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"You must've found out about my letters."
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"They were just a joke."
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"Really? That's too bad."
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"Because we are very interested in your offer."
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"Uh, you're just lucky we picked you up"
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"before the FBI got to you."
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"Another disgrace for the French Bureau of Investigation."
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"I pity the fool who messes with B.A. Backstrom."
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"We accept your offer."
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"The secrets from your father's nuclear plant"
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"for one Street Assassin minibike."
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"Just transfer everything"
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"to this flash drive."
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"I don't know."
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"Can I really betray my country?"
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"I say the Pledge of Allegiance every day."
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"You pledge allegiance to the flag."
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"And the flag is made in China."
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"Hmph."
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"We return to "Thicker Than Waters,""
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"the E! True Hollywood Story.""
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"Digby Sheridan, who played Patrick,"
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"had enormous problems with the show."
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"Crap, total crap."
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"You, writer, what's your name?"
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"Um, David Mamet."
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"Well, Mr. Mamet, why don't you learn"
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"how to write a script!"
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"Hmm... ."
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"I could use that."
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"Dad, I was thinking about it, and you're right."
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"You shouldn't buy me something I didn't earn."
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"Aw."
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"He's buying it."
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"I'm buying it!"
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"♪ Cherish that family smile ♪"
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