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Clips from 30 Rock - Today You Are a Man (S06E06)

"we're all friends."
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"Do you exchange gifts?"
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"Do you vacation together on nonjudgmental cruise lines?"
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"but what you have is a money problem."
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"You want to be "friends" with people like"
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"They're rich, so show me the money."
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"How much do you make?"
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"I'm not sure."
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"My church requires a 110% tithe."
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"- How old are you? - Don't worry about it."
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"How much have you saved?"
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"Are you talking about saving squirrels from hawks?"
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"Zero."
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"with people this,"
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"you are going to have to quit the page program,"
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"What?"
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"No, I can't quit the page program."
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"Well then, denied!"
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"You got the initiative. How do you keep it?"
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"By making a second first impression."
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"with a single power accent."
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"Hair movement..."
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"Is a sign of weakness."
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"90% of negotiations are lost by the person who speaks first."
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"Because what is speaking a sign of?"
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"Weakness?"
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"You, out. Fired."
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"Are you on some subconscious level"
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"seeing this as me toying with your manhood?"
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"You've seen the tapes?"
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"Yes, may I please speak to pizza?"
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"Classic Donaghy."
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"Okay, fine. You got me."
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"This just levels the playing field."
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"Going mano a mano"
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"Adam locked himself in the bathroom."
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"you two have got to do better"
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""Who's on first"!"
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"I'm confused."
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"making crazy demands and never being satisfied..."
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"But he's not famous."
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"Why is the government allowing this?"
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"Because today, he's the star."
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"although I do let children drink wine there."
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"I mean, when we're acting out,"
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"When I'm acting out,"
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"to deal with my feelings, you fart-face."
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"Adam isn't upset about us."
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"It's something else."
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"what it is and save this Bar Mitzvah."
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"or a shorter man,"
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"but you can regain it"
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"by fighting on your home turf."
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"not even Balki in the unaired ninth season"
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"of Perfect strangers."
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"The one place in the world where you cannot lose."
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"Ice cream store."
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"This is the men's room, Jenna."
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"That's solid, but that's not why we're here."
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"And we know how hard that can be."
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"Look, we know you're not really mad about us."
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"You acting out is about something else."
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"We're in S.A.G."
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"It's just..."
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"Everyone expects me to dance with a girl today."
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"And I don't know about girls."
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"I mean, I've played this Japanese video game"
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"but you only ever dance with this penguin"
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"named Yamagiku."
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"And you're fat, so you'll die young. Women love that."
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"Put money in the girl's mouth."
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"Also, my friend, Darryl, is your real father."
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"Hazel, why does my coffee order"
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"Uh..."
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"Did you put peanuts on this?"
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"Ah... I'm allergic!"
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"I have to write a 40-word exit evaluation of Kenneth!"
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"Okay, Kenneth. You win."
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"Okay. When is my birthday?"
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"I don't know."
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"When is that party you throw that we never go to"
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"'cause we don't know what to get the man who has nothing."
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"Suze Orman was right."
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"I need to quit the page program and get a real job."
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"what if you and I dealt with all of our problems that way?"
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"What if we were honest at work about what's bothering us?"
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"Like the polio vaccine."
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"Or a no-bottom strip club near a Wendy's."
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"You're not."
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"I changed the clock on your phone."
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"you coming to my neighborhood,"
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"power axiom."
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"that I knew to bring my own furniture,"
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"I'm very sorry, sir."
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"which is why I'm going to be the first person"
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"Like an idiot."
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"I thought you'd try power quiet talking,"
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"I'm everything I hoped I'd be."
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"and you have a run in your stocking."
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"8% raise, two weeks off at Christmas,"
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"5% gross, and nice try."
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"I'm not wearing stockings."
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"That's a vein."
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"No raise, no vacation,"
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""go for Liz," when you answer your phone."
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"Um, hold on a sec."
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"Come on, Lemon."
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"I'm just doing the sorcerer's apprentice."
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"You respond with a pirate holiday,"
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"Ah, forget it. This is taking too long."
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"If you think I won't"
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"If you walk out that door,"
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"you'll burn every bridge she has here."
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"It'll be back to submitting"
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"Oh, please."
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"You'd be in breach."
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"Carla Bruni in front of Sarkozy,"
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"So did you."
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"It's me. Nice try."
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"Then I'd counter. I'd reject that."
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