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Clips from Parks and Recreation (2009) - Swing Vote (S05E05)

"Tofu. Ralph Nader."
Parks and Recreation (2009)
"Ayn Rand is a terrible writer."
Parks and Recreation (2009)
"Don't mess up, don't mess up, don't mess up."
Parks and Recreation (2009)
"Ultimately, we learn the most about ourselves"
Parks and Recreation (2009)
"through the losses."
Parks and Recreation (2009)
"Swanson, I hate you."
Parks and Recreation (2009)
"You got my vote, hombre."
Parks and Recreation (2009)
"Hey, you got a hole-in-one on 18,"
Parks and Recreation (2009)
"so I'm supposed to give you this."
Parks and Recreation (2009)
"No, he gets the dragon too?"
Parks and Recreation (2009)
"I think I'll keep it in the office."
Parks and Recreation (2009)
"No, you won't."
Parks and Recreation (2009)
"- Here, kid, want this, huh? - Yeah."
Parks and Recreation (2009)
"Take it and run. Run!"
Parks and Recreation (2009)
"Tom, she's coming! Tom!"
Parks and Recreation (2009)
"What lead? What do you mean?"
Parks and Recreation (2009)
"What are you-- oh."
Parks and Recreation (2009)
"What the mother-effing, c-ing ess-ing, effing k-ing eff"
Parks and Recreation (2009)
"is going on right now?"
Parks and Recreation (2009)
"Sorry, Mona-Lisa."
Parks and Recreation (2009)
"We can't keep our hands off each other."
Parks and Recreation (2009)
"That is accurate."
Parks and Recreation (2009)
"Oh, it's all finally very clear."
Parks and Recreation (2009)
"All the times that you were like,"
Parks and Recreation (2009)
"- I finally get it. - Mmhmm."
Parks and Recreation (2009)
"You guys want a threesome."
Parks and Recreation (2009)
"Well, let's not rush to judgment."
Parks and Recreation (2009)
"- I mean, I say we hear her out. - Gross."
Parks and Recreation (2009)
"Tom, good luck."
Parks and Recreation (2009)
"She's got a screw loose, am I right?"
Parks and Recreation (2009)
"Actually she's not the one"
Parks and Recreation (2009)
"in my life I would call crazy."
Parks and Recreation (2009)
"Oh, me neither."
Parks and Recreation (2009)
"I've been single for an hour now,"
Parks and Recreation (2009)
"Yo, do you wanna have a threesome with us?"
Parks and Recreation (2009)
"Yeah, okay."
Parks and Recreation (2009)
"- Cool. - Sweet."
Parks and Recreation (2009)
"- All right. - All right."
Parks and Recreation (2009)
"Yo, what up? My name is Mona-Lisa."
Parks and Recreation (2009)
"Well, hello, fellow employees."
Parks and Recreation (2009)
"Whoa, fancy Andy."
Parks and Recreation (2009)
"Funny goofball music Andy..."
Parks and Recreation (2009)
"I'm an adult now."
Parks and Recreation (2009)
"I'm gonna focus on business, which is good."
Parks and Recreation (2009)
"Babe, you love that band that I also love so much."
Parks and Recreation (2009)
"They're important to you."
Parks and Recreation (2009)
"Come on, call Burly and ask him to let you back in."
Parks and Recreation (2009)
"Why, so they can steal my swan song?"
Parks and Recreation (2009)
"I-it's locked."
Parks and Recreation (2009)
"- Yeah, that's my briefcase. - Is it?"
Parks and Recreation (2009)
"Good gravy."
Parks and Recreation (2009)
"Oh, hello, Ron."
Parks and Recreation (2009)
"I believe you know this gorilla."
Parks and Recreation (2009)
"It used to bring joy to hundreds of Pawnee families,"
Parks and Recreation (2009)
"Your office shall serve as its monkey tomb."
Parks and Recreation (2009)
"- How much did you pay for this? - Irrelevant."
Parks and Recreation (2009)
"I would pay any amount of money to properly shame you."
Parks and Recreation (2009)
"Leslie, you should know by now that I live my life"
Parks and Recreation (2009)
"according to a certain set of principles,"
Parks and Recreation (2009)
"Right, I mean, God forbid you're flexible in any way."
Parks and Recreation (2009)
"You should just stick to your stupid, rigid,"
Parks and Recreation (2009)
"anti-government principles."
Parks and Recreation (2009)
"But you know what? Those principles stink."
Parks and Recreation (2009)
"You may think so. I do not."
Parks and Recreation (2009)
"I like him very much."
Parks and Recreation (2009)
"I will call him "$9,000 of taxpayer money the gorilla.""
Parks and Recreation (2009)
"That is a terrible-- his name is Mr. Fuzzyface!"
Parks and Recreation (2009)
"Hey."
Parks and Recreation (2009)
"How did your wild dirtbag fantasy night work out?"
Parks and Recreation (2009)
"got into a fistfight in the parking lot."
Parks and Recreation (2009)
"Eventually, Mona-Lisa threw a cinderblock"
Parks and Recreation (2009)
"and says, "Bitch, you're gonna get pregnant.""
Parks and Recreation (2009)
"She then pretends those are ecstasy"
Parks and Recreation (2009)
"and sells it to a bunch of college kids"
Parks and Recreation (2009)
"It did not go well."
Parks and Recreation (2009)
"Did she assault you?"
Parks and Recreation (2009)
"- No, this was a sexual injury. - Okay, gross."
Parks and Recreation (2009)
"Anyway, here's your chenille blanket."
Parks and Recreation (2009)
"You earned it."
Parks and Recreation (2009)
"Thanks for your help."
Parks and Recreation (2009)
"Tom, thank you."
Parks and Recreation (2009)
"Eh, be nice to Chenille O'Neal."
Parks and Recreation (2009)
"I will."
Parks and Recreation (2009)
"It needs to be brushed regularly."
Parks and Recreation (2009)
"- I'm dead serious. - Okay."
Parks and Recreation (2009)
"And keep it out of direct sunlight."
Parks and Recreation (2009)
"Thank you!"
Parks and Recreation (2009)
"What's up, yellow head?"
Parks and Recreation (2009)
"Jamm, are you here to rub it in my face"
Parks and Recreation (2009)
"that I lost your vote last night?"
Parks and Recreation (2009)
"Well, I was, but it doesn't have to go down that way."
Parks and Recreation (2009)
"You shook Ron's hand and told him"
Parks and Recreation (2009)
"My word is garbage."
Parks and Recreation (2009)
"Let's talk deal."
Parks and Recreation (2009)
"What can you offer me to change my mind?"
Parks and Recreation (2009)
"Wow, Jamm, even for you, this is pretty sleazy."
Parks and Recreation (2009)
"Hey, don't act so shocked."
Parks and Recreation (2009)
"A few months ago, you traded me your office"
Parks and Recreation (2009)
"Last night you bring in a teenage girl"
Parks and Recreation (2009)
"Two: Congratulations, putt-putt has been defunded."
Parks and Recreation (2009)
"And only because Jamm was going to double-cross you,"
Parks and Recreation (2009)
"Three: I am furious that putt-putt has been defunded."
Parks and Recreation (2009)
"Four: I am sorry that I said"
Parks and Recreation (2009)
"'Twas Leslie killed the beast."
Parks and Recreation (2009)
"Five: Putt-putt is for children, and they are the future,"
Parks and Recreation (2009)
"and I have already written a ballot measure"
Parks and Recreation (2009)
"And six: Your rigid code of honor, which drives me nuts,"
Parks and Recreation (2009)
"and I am proud to call you my friend,"
Parks and Recreation (2009)
"and don't ever change."
Parks and Recreation (2009)
"- You want a drink? - Very much."
Parks and Recreation (2009)
"and that I won't let you sing or write songs"
Parks and Recreation (2009)
"Man, I love playing with you guys."
Parks and Recreation (2009)
"And I want back in if you'll let me."
Parks and Recreation (2009)
"It's just, you didn't show up for practice,"
Parks and Recreation (2009)
"- and we like to play. - Right."
Parks and Recreation (2009)
"If you wanna come back in, you can."
Parks and Recreation (2009)
"You can say that again."
Parks and Recreation (2009)
"Yeah, Ben!"
Parks and Recreation (2009)
"God, don't say that."
Parks and Recreation (2009)
"- Welcome back, buddy. - Yes."
Parks and Recreation (2009)
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