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Clips from Family Guy - A Hero Sits Next Door (S01E01)

"Practice? I thought we'd go next door and welcome our new neighbors."
Family Guy
"No. I don't want anything to do with neighbors."
Family Guy
"If that slut wants full custody of the kids, she's got it."
Family Guy
""Very nice people. " Yeah, that's what they always say."
Family Guy
"Pervert!"
Family Guy
"Don't flatter yourself, honey. I don't have any sweat glands."
Family Guy
"Guillermo, you're up."
Family Guy
"Unfortunately Johnson isn't here to pitch today. His wife is in labor."
Family Guy
"I don't know what's more questionable, your pitching arm or Bill Clinton's integrity."
Family Guy
"Oh, how hard..."
Family Guy
"- Okay. Take your base. - Somebody call 911."
Family Guy
"Tell them he is allergic to penicillin and white zinfandel!"
Family Guy
"Idiot! If you don't find a ringer to replace Guillermo, you're fired!"
Family Guy
"Man. What'll I do if I get fired? I'll have to go back to my old job..."
Family Guy
"...as a Calvin Klein model."
Family Guy
"I don't wanna be like everyone else."
Family Guy
"But I don't want to be different."
Family Guy
"This is gonna drive me nuts!"
Family Guy
"Moving is never easy on a family."
Family Guy
"Well, we are gonna miss the go-go-go pace of Providence."
Family Guy
"But with number two on the way, Joe thought it was time to move."
Family Guy
"Quahog can be pretty exciting, too."
Family Guy
"L-17. Darn it."
Family Guy
"I haven't played Bingo in years!"
Family Guy
"I must escape this infernal babble!"
Family Guy
"What a little explorer."
Family Guy
"Yes. He's so full of wonder."
Family Guy
"To be the Lindbergh baby right about now."
Family Guy
"It's a pleasure, Lois. Who's the little guy?"
Family Guy
"This is Stewie. Honey, say hi to Mr. Swanson."
Family Guy
"You will bow to me."
Family Guy
"I know. I've admired you in the garden from afar."
Family Guy
"- Will you go out with me? - I'd love to."
Family Guy
"Get out of here, you mouth breather!"
Family Guy
"I'm as good as fired."
Family Guy
"Where the hell am I gonna find a guy as strong as Guillermo?"
Family Guy
"Great. Lois is getting chummy with the new neighbors."
Family Guy
"She wants you to meet them. She's always making me be social."
Family Guy
"Cocktail parties, school functions, that time we planted trees in Jerusalem."
Family Guy
"...and I can't tell the difference."
Family Guy
"- You must be Peter. Joe Swanson. - Yeah, yeah. Nice to meet you, Phil."
Family Guy
"You got a neighbor on the other side of your house, too."
Family Guy
"So, don't think you always have to bug me."
Family Guy
"I'll keep that in mind. Say, do you have a screwdriver I can borrow?"
Family Guy
"Man, you neighbors are like viruses. Starts with a screwdriver."
Family Guy
"Before you know it, you're using my supermarket..."
Family Guy
"...my dry cleaner, and even my postman."
Family Guy
"Can you believe that guy? "Do you have a screwdriver I can borrow?""
Family Guy
"What an ass."
Family Guy
"- Did you find a replacement for the team? - No. Believe me, I've been looking."
Family Guy
"Hideo-san would be honored to play for your team."
Family Guy
"But he wishes to know what compensation you offer."
Family Guy
"Me love you long time."
Family Guy
"Gosh, I'd like to help. But I've gotta go out in the hall..."
Family Guy
"...and chew on my ass for five minutes."
Family Guy
"Peter, I invited Joe and Bonnie to your game on Saturday."
Family Guy
"Lois, I don't want those people there."
Family Guy
"See, this is why I ask you to submit everything to me in writing first."
Family Guy
"Bonnie told me Joe is a big baseball fan. He played in college."
Family Guy
"He did?"
Family Guy
"Welcome to the neighborhood."
Family Guy
"Hiya, Joe."
Family Guy
"This is a surprise. I kinda thought you didn't like me."
Family Guy
"What? Because of what I said this afternoon. No."
Family Guy
"See I have that disease where stuff pops out of your mouth."
Family Guy
"Go to hell! Whoops. See what I mean?"
Family Guy
"I'm so sorry."
Family Guy
"I thought maybe I crossed the line when I asked to borrow a screwdriver."
Family Guy
"Are you kidding? You can borrow whatever you want."
Family Guy
"Son of a bitch! Son of a bitch! There it goes again."
Family Guy
"I don't want to impose."
Family Guy
"No problem. That's what neighbors do. You know what else they do?"
Family Guy
"They play on their neighbor's company softball team like this Saturday."
Family Guy
"What do you say, neighbor? Sounds fun."
Family Guy
"See you at the game, Joe."
Family Guy
"- Hey, you want a piece of gum? - Thanks."
Family Guy
"- That was joke gum. - What do you mean?"
Family Guy
"Now you're addicted to heroin."
Family Guy
"I'm cold."
Family Guy
"It's nice that your family is here."
Family Guy
"If your ringer doesn't arrive soon, you can spend every day with them..."
Family Guy
"...at home."
Family Guy
"He can hit, he can throw... Peter!"
Family Guy
"What's he doing in a wheelchair?"
Family Guy
"Holy crip, he's a crapple!"
Family Guy
"Peter, our new secret weapon is this very attractive paraplegic?"
Family Guy
"Okay, Joe, you got me. Rise and shine. Come on."
Family Guy
"I swear I didn't know. Maybe they won't hit a lot of balls to him."
Family Guy
"The movers tracked grease all over my carpet."
Family Guy
"- I tried everything to get the stain out. - What about lemon juice?"
Family Guy
"Crap! Don't hit it to Joe. Please don't hit it to Joe!"
Family Guy
"You're out!"
Family Guy
"All right, Joe! Way to earn that parking space!"
Family Guy
"That's my Joe! What the deuce?"
Family Guy
"Half man, half machine."
Family Guy
"Why with that technology, I could escape these wretched harridans!"
Family Guy
"Go, cyborg!"
Family Guy
"It all rests on that man's broad, rippling shoulders!"
Family Guy
"All right, Joe! Run!"
Family Guy
"Hurry! Joe! All right! Yes, vamos!"
Family Guy
"Let's hear it for Joe!"
Family Guy
"Yeah, let's hear it for the guy who found Joe!"
Family Guy
"That's finger suckin' good, huh? It's an old policemen's recipe."
Family Guy
"They love that one down at the Precinct."
Family Guy
"This sucks, Brian. Joe is stealing my thunder."
Family Guy
"Hey, everybody! Time to limbo!"
Family Guy
"- Face it. He's the life of the party. - Yeah?"
Family Guy
"I'll show you who's the life of the party."
Family Guy
"Hey, look! I fell in the pool with my clothes on!"
Family Guy
"How hilarious is that? That is so Peter Griffin. Guys?"
Family Guy
"Guys?"
Family Guy
"That's my idea. Peter, come here."
Family Guy
"Finally. A little recognition."
Family Guy
"Joe has the most wonderful idea."
Family Guy
"Hey, I just suggested a line of handi-capable toys, you know..."
Family Guy
"...to show kids the fun side of being physically challenged!"
Family Guy
"What about my idea? Come on! Tootie morphs into a stink bug."
Family Guy
"Joe, you're exactly the kind of man we need at our company."
Family Guy
"Peter, make yourself useful. Go get Joe a drink."
Family Guy
"Jeez, first he takes my friends. Then he takes my job."
Family Guy
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