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Clips from The Big Bang Theory - The Transporter Malfunction (S05E05)

"...with a jar of old pickle juice, I'll come a-knocking."
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"I'm supposed to ask you if you're bringing someone."
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"Uh, I don't think so."
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"If anything, I'm metrosexual."
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"Ooh, am I about to get a rare Sheldon Cooper hug?"
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"You're welcome."
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"Why? They're just toys."
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"Oh, yes. In my culture, it's expected to have a chaperone to oversee a first date."
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"Please, have a seat."
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"Down here. On your desk."
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"Oh. Please, don't be broken."
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"What did you make me do?"
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"So, what are we going to tell them?"
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"Okay."
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"I'm on the one where I'm under a lot of pressure from my parents..."
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"I'm gay."
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"Yeah, okay, that time I heard it."
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"I am very disappointed in you."
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"Well, I am unhappy."
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"It's like that."
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"...but I'm actually thinking about doing it."
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"Yes, but my compromises are about which bedspread to buy..."
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"Nothing."
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"Leonard, I bought you this because I wanted you to have fun with it."
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"We kind of agreed to disagree on that one."
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"Oh, my God, I love this chicken."
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"Oh, you know what they say, "The best things in life are free.""
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"You're right. I eat your food a lot. How about this?"
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"You can raid my fridge any time you want."
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"Oh, that's very kind of you."
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"Next time I have a hankering to wash down a D-cell battery..."
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"Hey, Raj, you didn't send your RSVP in."
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"I'll let you know."
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"Could you make it soon? There's a battle over seating."
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"In one corner, Bernadette's mom. In the other three, mine."
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"Yeah, I hate wedding receptions. I wish the bride and groom..."
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"...would take a cue from Bilbo Baggins."
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"Slip on the ring, disappear, and everyone goes home."
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"Oh, you liked Professor Geyser's wedding."
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"They had a make-your-own-sundae bar."
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"Oh, that was a night to remember."
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"Do you know, on one trip, I just had a bowl of nuts."
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"Anyway, you gotta let me know if you have a plus-one."
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"If not, my mom's trying to sneak in the doctor..."
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"...who sucked the fat out of her neck."
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"All right, uh, fine."
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"I'm coming and I'm bringing somebody."
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"Koothrappali plus one."
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"- Who are you bringing? - Who are you bringing?"
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"He's bringing me. Who are you bringing?"
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"Wow, what a bunch of Nosey O'Donnells."
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"I'm not telling. I'm from Asia. I'm mysterious. Deal with it."
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"Howard, are you having a make-your-own-sundae bar?"
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"Well, you should. Fifty percent of marriages end in divorce."
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"But 100 percent of make-your-own-sundae bars end in happiness."
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"- Hello, Mommy, Daddy. How are you? - Pretty good, can't complain."
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"Oh, I'm sure you can. Just give it a minute."
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"Listen, uh..."
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"There's something I want to talk to you about."
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"I wasn't ready until now but I think it's time."
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"It's finally happening."
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"You're coming out of the closet, aren't you?"
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"We love you and we accept your alternate lifestyle."
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"Just keep it to yourself."
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"No, I'm not gay."
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"What's that?"
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"It means I like women as well as their skin-care products."
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"Well, if you're not coming out..."
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"...why did you call us during the cricket semi-finals?"
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"I'm tired of trying to meet someone..."
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"...and I think I'd like you to help me find a..."
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"A wife."
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"And just to clarify, a female wife?"
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"Matchmaking. Very smart move, son."
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"Much better than marrying for love."
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"We married for love."
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"Quantum physics makes me so happy."
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"Yeah? I'm glad."
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"It's like looking at the universe naked."
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"- Hi. Guys got a minute? - Sure, what's up?"
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"I was thinking about Sheldon's little joke the other night..."
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"- ...about me eating all your food. - Oh, that was no joke."
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"But I understand your confusion as I am our group's resident cutup."
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"I'm sorry, you are our resident cutup?"
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"Yes."
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"- Prove it. - Knock-knock."
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"- Who's there? - Interrupting physicist."
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"- Interrupting phys... - Muon. Ha, ha."
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"Anyway, I got a little residual check from my commercial."
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"And I thought, "How about I get the guys a little thank-you to pay them back?""
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"So, Sheldon... Ta-da."
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"A vintage, mint-in-box 1975 Mego Star Trek Transporter..."
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"...with real transporter action. Hot darn!"
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"- Where did you get that? - From Stuart at the comic-book store."
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"You went to the comic-book store by yourself?"
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"Yeah. It was fun."
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"I walked in and two different guys got asthma attacks."
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"Felt pretty good."
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"Well, this calls for an expression of gratitude."
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"No, not this time. Then they wouldn't be special."
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"Click. Thanks, Penny."
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"Don't worry, I didn't forget about you."
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"Leonard, I got you a label-maker."
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"Wow."
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"No, it's great."
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"- Also, uh, mint-in-box. - Mm."
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"- And I got you a Transporter too! - Awesome!"
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"Look, it was actually designed for my vintage Mr. Spock action figure."
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"Oh, that's great. Open it and put him in there."
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"- Open it? - No, good Lord, no."
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"- Collectibles. - They're mint-in-box."
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"Can't we open one up and take a look?"
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"- Aah! - No, don't!"
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"Once you open the box, it loses its value."
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"Yeah, yeah. My mom gave me the same lecture about my virginity."
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"Gotta tell you, it was a lot more fun taking it out and playing with it."
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"You sure you want us here when you meet this woman?"
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"I want to make a good impression. No offense, but with you here..."
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"...I look like I'm 6'2"."
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"The nuns always chaperoned the dances at my high school."
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