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Clips from The Big Bang Theory - The Werewolf Transformation (S05E05)

"Okay. I like it a little better when you stay, but all right."
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"Oh, dear, Mr. D'Onofrio's in the hospital."
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"Your what?"
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"- Just sit down and let him do it. - Fine."
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"- You read it as 0800. - Itdoesn't have an O in front of it."
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"I'm sorry, it's the bad-boy attitude that comes with this hair."
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"...from "I'm going to astronaut training" to "Sheldon can't get a haircut"?"
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"I'm sorry. I'm looking for a barber and I'm running out of time."
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"So tell me all about your first day."
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"...they're gonna spin me around in tomorrow..."
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"...so I got you this."
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"...people in comas are aware of everything going on around them."
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"You know, I think this is a good stopping point."
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"He can't go here because of my lighthouse..."
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"...and..."
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"...and Sheldon being okay with you in his spot..."
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"Good. I'm taking that disgusting chart off the fridge."
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"We went out, broke up, trying again."
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"I think this could be good for you."
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"- Great. What are you gonna do first? - I don't know."
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"...that a girl who's never played chess in her life just kicked your ass."
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"Big fun. Big, big fun."
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"Uh-huh. Except you don't have food or water..."
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"I just pulled my turtleneck up over my head and waited for death."
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"...but I was so hungry."
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"Three in the morning Is a good time for bongos"
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"Bongo solo."
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"- What the hell? - Oh, hi, Penny, guess what?"
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"Penny meant If he were a purple leprechaun"
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"Sheldon, go to bed. You have work in the morning."
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"- Where are you going? - Wherever the music takes me, kitten."
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"- Surprise. - What are you doing here?"
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"Sheldon like to sleep While Leonard play the bongo"
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"Please come home so I can cut your hair."
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"All right, honey, look..."
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"I'm sorry, what?"
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"It was a long story. Anyway, Sheldon, I promise I know what I'm doing."
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"Amy, what do you think?"
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"Thank you for letting me sleep on your couch."
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"What's this about Sheldon seeing you naked?"
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"- ...and then you are good to go. - Fun time."
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"Okay."
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"Yeah, I'm gonna have to move. Ahem."
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"I'm gonna run to the store. I'll pick you up when you're done."
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"- Hey, Sheldon. - Hello."
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"I'm here for my haircut with Mr. D'Onofrio."
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"I'm sorry, Uncle Tony is in the hospital. He's pretty sick."
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"Why do these things always happen to me?"
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"- I can cut it for you. - You're not Mr. D'Onofrio."
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"I get my hair cut by Mr. D'Onofrio."
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"You believe this guy?"
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"Excuse us for a second."
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"Sheldon, it's okay, he can do it. He's a barber."
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"He's not a barber, he's the nephew."
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"An example of the nepotism..."
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"...that runs rampant in the barbering industry."
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"Besides Mr. D'Onofrio knows exactly how I like my hair done..."
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"...because he has all my haircut records from my barber in Texas."
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"What are you talking about?"
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"When I first moved here, I was nervous about finding a new barber..."
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"...so my mother had all my haircut records sent here to Mr. D'Onofrio."
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"There's no such thing as haircut records."
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"- Yes, there are. - Have you ever seen them?"
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"No, but my mother assured me they were sent here..."
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"...and I'll bet you dollars to donuts that this one doesn't have them."
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"Excuse me."
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"Do you have access to my haircut records?"
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"To paraphrase T.S. Eliot, this is the way the world ends."
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"Not with a bang but with a nephew."
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"Sheldon, you're a grown man, he's a professional..."
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"...and your haircut is number three on that poster from 1946."
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"But if I come out of this looking like a dork, it's on you."
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"- So my kid said the funniest thing today. - Nope."
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"When you tell this story later, the word we usually use is "quirky.""
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"- Can you pass the Parmesan cheese? - Sure."
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"- What are you doing? - I'm trying to get the hair out of my eyes."
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"Sheldon, you are one day late for your haircut."
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"Thank you for captioning my nightmare."
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"- Lookie here, I got my travel orders. - Hmm."
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""Payload Specialist Howard Wolowitz is requested to report..."
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"...to the NASA Johnson Space Center, Houston, Texas..."
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"...for astronaut training Monday 8 a.m.""
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"Yeah, but it's from NASA, so it's 0800."
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"But it says 8 a.m."
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"It does have an O in front of it."
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"Oh, my God, I'm an astronaut, and you're dying of jealousy."
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"So, what kind of things are they...? Will you stop that?"
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"I can't help it, I feel like a teen heartthrob."
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"Sheldon, I used to cut my brother's hair. I could do it."
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"Penny, I know you mean well, offering the skills of the hill folk..."
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"...but here in town, we don't churn our own butter..."
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"...we don't make dresses out of gunny sacks..."
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"...and we sure as shooting don't get our hair cut by bottle-blond..."
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"Sheldon, be nice."
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"You could go to my guy. He's at Juan-Juan in Beverly Hills."
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"They bring you a cup of tea, massage your scalp."
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"It's $200 but sometimes you look in the next chair..."
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"...and you see a superstar like Tony Danza."
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"Quick question here, have we actually changed the conversation..."
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"Now who's dying of jealousy? "Oh," it's you."
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"I'm a cowboy"
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"On a steel horse I ride"
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"I'm wanted"
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"Wanted Dead or alive"
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"...at the rate of 4.6 yoctometers per femtosecond."
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"If you're quiet, you can hear it."
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"They do men's and women's hair in the same room at the same time."
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"It's like Sodom and Gomorrah with mousse."
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"Well, this isn't a crisis. Why don't you just let your hair grow out a little?"
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"Why don't I let my hair grow out?"
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"Why don't I start wearing Birkenstocks..."
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"I don't know. I think you might look sexy with long hair."
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"With the kind that flows down to your shoulders..."
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"...and blows back while riding on a horse."
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"Bareback and bare-chested."
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"I'm gonna go brush my teeth, it might take a while."
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"- Hi. - Hi, sweetie."
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"Oh, wow, where do I even start? I got to experience zero gravity."
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"- Cool. How do they do that? - It's pretty neat."
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"You get in this plane that goes almost straight up for like 20 seconds..."
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