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Clips from The Big Bang Theory - The Recombination Hypothesis (S05E05)

"I love my mind."
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"Not like a date, a date."
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"Um..."
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"Oh, no. They sent the wrong Spock."
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"How's it going in there, Penny?"
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"If he were dying, would you sleep with him?"
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"How do you know? Are you a doctor?"
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"...and the naughty part is I'm not in his HMO network."
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"With a dead man. Rawr."
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"Hmm."
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"I want to build a road, but I need wood."
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"I didn't defile your sister, we had a relationship."
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"I heard you call her Brown Sugar."
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"- Yeah, that sounds right. - Yeah? Heh, heh."
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"Okay."
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"...I dreamed of moving to L.A. and becoming a movie star."
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"...if you didn't want a relationship with someone."
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"To this day, I don't even know what T.J. stands for."
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"Even during? Because sometimes I have questions."
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"So, what do you wanna do now?"
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"Okay. It's just..."
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"What if I dump you?"
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"Exactly. We pretend like our date went badly."
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"And we let them think that we decided to just be friends..."
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"Okay. Great."
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"How's it going?"
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"Obviously."
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"When I saw that you were in ours, I went and used another one."
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"Uh, the gas station across the street."
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"Yes."
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"Yes."
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"No."
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"Where do you think you're going?"
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"I distinctly ordered the Leonard Nimoy Mr. Spock cardboard standee."
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"Feel like trying something new for dinner?"
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"Maybe Indian? Tex-Mex?"
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"Ever wonder how humans would be different if they evolved..."
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"...from lizards instead of mammals?"
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"Okay, let's talk about that."
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"As you know, lizards, cold-blooded animals..."
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"...lack the ability to sense temperature."
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"But they do move more sluggishly when it's cold."
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"So lizard weathermen would say things like:"
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""Bring a sweater, it's slow outside.""
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"We all do. Now, how about dinner?"
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"We could also pull each other's tails off and grill them. They'll just grow back."
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"Oh!"
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"My life-size cardboard Mr. Spock is here."
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"I know he wouldn't care for an outburst of human emotion..."
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"...but, oh, goodie, oh, goodie, oh, goodie."
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"Commander Spock requesting permission to be unfolded."
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"- Excuse me. - Permission granted, commander."
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"...which is why the more intelligent the monkey, the more feces they fling."
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"Excuse me, Amy. Uh, Penny, do you have plans for dinner?"
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"- You guys going somewhere? - No, just you and me."
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"You mean, like a date?"
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"Ooh."
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"Okay. Sure."
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"Ooh."
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"Live long and suck it, Zachary Quinto."
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"This is so exciting. If Leonard and Penny get back together..."
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"...Howard and I can go on double dates with them."
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"How come you never invite Sheldon and me on a double date?"
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"Uh..."
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"Just a sec."
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"Too much?"
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"- Yes. - No."
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"Okay. Just hang on."
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"You just can't handle her raw sexuality, can you?"
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"When did you and Leonard break up?"
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"Uh, about two years ago."
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"Why do you think he asked you out again?"
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"- I don't know. - Maybe he's dying."
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"That would be so romantic."
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"He's not dying."
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"Too bad."
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"If he were, she could throw him in bed and ride him right up until he flatlines."
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"- Maybe. - Come on."
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"Yeah, okay, no."
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"Do you think you'll sleep with him tonight?"
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"Absolutely not. We're just gonna have dinner and, you know, see how it goes."
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"- What? - Assuming he were dying..."
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"...of something that couldn't be sexually transmitted."
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"You know, like a spear wound to the head."
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"Okay, he is not dying."
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"You can make-believe though."
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"Sometimes Howard and I pretend that his arrhythmia is acting up..."
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"...and I'm a sexy cardiologist..."
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"Screw it. I'm not gonna make a big deal out of this. It's just dinner."
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"Amy, stop it."
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"Relax. You know Leonard's always been crazy about you. It's gonna be great."
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"We've finally gotten to a place where we can hang out without it being weird."
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"- If something goes wrong, then what? - It'll just be Sheldon and me..."
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"...going on a double date with Howard and Bernadette."
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"Sure. We'd love that."
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"Change your clothes, we got a lot riding on this."
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"Do either of you fellows have wood?"
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"I don't understand the laughter."
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"The object of Settlers of Catan is to build roads and settlements..."
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"...to do so requires wood. Now, I have sheep, I need wood."
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"Who has wood for my sheep?"
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"Okay. How do I look?"
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"More to the point, why are you doing this?"
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"- What are you talking about? - You forget what Penny did to you?"
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"It took you two years and defiling my sister to turn that frown upside down."
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"In my book that's defilement."
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"- You wanna know my opinion? - Oh, boy, do I."
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"Sarcasm?"
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"No."
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"All right, then."
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"The reason you're fixated on a good-natured simpleton like Penny..."
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"...is that she's the exact opposite of your first romantic attachment..."
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"...your brilliant, yet intimidating, mother."
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"Where on earth did you get that from?"
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"It's in her book Needy Baby, Greedy Baby."
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"That doesn't make it true."
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"It's called non-fiction for a reason, Leonard."
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"See you later."
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"If they make a movie version of that book..."
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"...you know who should play Leonard's mother? Sandra Bullock."
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