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Clips from The Big Bang Theory - The Recombination Hypothesis (S05E05)

"- Why? - Because she's great in everything."
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"Now, where were we? Oh, yes. Does anyone have any wood?"
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"Come on. I just want wood. Why are you making it so hard?"
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"So do they have a name for a first date with someone you used to go out with?"
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"That's a good question. How about "awkward"?"
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"How about if we pretend we're actually on a first date? See how that goes."
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"So, Polly, tell me about yourself."
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"- Heh, heh. It's Penny. - Oh, sorry. Yeah. Awkward."
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"Okay, let's see. I'm from Nebraska, and ever since I was a little girl..."
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"Anyway, after four years of acting lessons and waiting tables..."
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"...I've done a hemorrhoid commercial..."
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"...and a production of Anne Frank above a bowling alley."
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"So you know, dreams do come true."
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"- Your turn. - Uh, let's see. Ahem. Uh..."
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"I am an experimental physicist at Caltech."
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"Most of my research is with high-powered lasers, and..."
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"Oh, I've just gotten a big government grant..."
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"...to see if they can be used to knock out incoming ballistic missiles."
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"- Wow. Can they? - Oh, God, no."
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"But the money's pretty good."
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"And I used the equipment to make my own Bat-Signal."
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"Not some kind of nerd, I am the king of nerds."
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"- What does that mean? - It means if anyone displeases me..."
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"...I don't help them set up their printer."
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"You are so funny."
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"Good. Remember that when I take my shirt off."
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"- This is nice. I'm so glad we did this. - Me too."
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"So, what do you think, are we gonna get back together?"
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"Whoa, not so fast."
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"I'm sorry, what did I say?"
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"Leonard, you know I will always have feelings for you..."
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"- Oh, God. - What?"
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"You said "always." You'll always have feelings for me."
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"- So? - That sounds like something you'd say..."
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""This isn't working out, but I'll always have feelings for you.""
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""I'm sorry I slept with your best friend, but I'll always have feelings for you.""
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""Here's the thing, Lisa, I'm into dudes now..."
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"...but I'll always have feelings for you.""
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"- How would you say it? - I have feelings for you."
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"- Same thing. - No, it's not. "Always" made it worse."
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"- You always over-think things. - There you go. "Always" made it worse."
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"See, this is where everything goes wrong, when we talk."
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"Well, I don't know how you have a relationship without talking."
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"I went out with T.J. for eight months. We never talked."
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"Wait, if you guys didn't talk...? Never mind, stupid question."
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"And now that I have some wood..."
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"...I'm going to begin the erection of my settlement."
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"He's got to be doing this on purpose."
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"Ooh, eight-thirty. You and Penny decide to go out and paint the town beige?"
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"You're 30 years old and you live with your mother."
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"I guess it didn't go well."
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"We don't know that. Not to a certainty."
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"All we know is that Leonard is home."
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"How about now?"
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"Again, not enough evidence. For all we know, he's being murdered."
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"Now, back to our game."
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"You were in the middle of an erection."
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"Oh, of course. It's right here in my hand."
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"What does she want from me now?"
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"- What's up? - Do not over-think this."
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"- I don't understand... - Bup, bup, bup."
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"- Okay, but earlier it seemed like... - No talking."
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"Well, that was fun."
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"Yeah. Except for when I got the foot cramp."
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"You hung in there though."
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"There was a lot at stake."
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"Well, I wanna go get my asthma inhaler, but it might ruin the moment."
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"So help me out, here. How does a miserable date end in sex?"
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"I don't know, it's complicated."
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"I'm pretty smart guy, and right now my brain has dibs on the blood supply..."
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"...so give it a go."
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"At that restaurant when you said you wanted us to be together again..."
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"...it got very real, very fast and I panicked."
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"Why? What are you afraid of?"
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"Well, what if we do go out and I do something stupid and dump you again?"
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"Come on, be serious."
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"Well, how about if we don't think about this as a relationship?"
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"It could be more like a new version of software."
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"We can test it internally, shake out the bugs..."
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"...and if we both feel it's solid, then we'll roll it out to the public."
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"We don't tell people we're back together?"
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"Well, we don't really have to pretend."
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"...and that everything's cool."
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"Hey, I just remembered. I still got one of your inhalers."
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"I can't believe you kept this."
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"I was gonna throw it away, but I just couldn't."
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"That is so sweet."
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"Heh."
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"In 25 to 30 minutes I'm gonna show you how much this means to me."
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"- Leonard? - Yeah, hi."
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"Can't complain, thanks for asking."
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"What were you doing out at 3:00 in the morning?"
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"Well... What are you doing up?"
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"I was using the bathroom."
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"Yeah, well, so was I."
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"Really? I didn't see you in there."
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"Where?"
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"- In your pajamas? - Yes."
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"Without shoes?"
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"On a cold winter's night?"
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"That seems unlikely. Did you bring your asthma inhaler?"
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"Uh, uh, yes, I did."
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"Well, then I guess it's plausible."
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"- Hang on a second, mister. - What?"
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"After you used the facilities at the gas station, did you make a purchase?"
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"What?"
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"It's customary when using the restroom at a retail establishment..."
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"...to make a small purchase. Did you?"
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"Here's $2."
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"Go buy some beef jerky."
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"I don't want beef jerky."
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"It's not about you."
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"It's about a poor immigrant from Pakistan..."
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"...trying to make his way in America by working the graveyard shift..."
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"...at the Colorado Boulevard Chevron."
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"Fine."
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"Needy baby, greedy baby, indeed."
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"Leonard will be here in a moment."
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"He's looking for a different parking space."
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"- Why? - We were next to a car with an..."
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