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Clips from South Park - Freemium Isn't Free (S18E18)

"when you haven't played in a while?"
South Park
"a quick image to trigger the addict's brain."
South Park
"They know exactly what they're doing."
South Park
"Enjoy your Canadough."
South Park
"You said you stopped buying Canadough."
South Park
"Do you know how many songs I have to write"
South Park
"to make back that much money?"
South Park
"Oh, it's just nothing to you, isn't it?"
South Park
"No. No, it's not."
South Park
"You need to realize that you have something in your brain"
South Park
"that you somehow inherited from your Grampa"
South Park
"I don't know how you can say that"
South Park
"I am not chugging beer."
South Park
"I'm sampling a flight of gluten-free German lagers"
South Park
"with a French wine pairing."
South Park
"Sure. Come on, guys."
South Park
"I should have never told you the game was f-f-f-fan... fantastic."
South Park
"It's not your fault."
South Park
"It's like a curse."
South Park
"I know this stuff is hard to understand."
South Park
"How?"
South Park
"What all the addiction programs say is true..."
South Park
"and sneak in and somehow borrow their TV signal."
South Park
"If we could disguise ourselves as something ridiculous..."
South Park
""Terrance and Phillip hire pushers"
South Park
"to get addicts hooked on our freemium game?"
South Park
"Now, hold on, Terrance and Phillip."
South Park
"with knowingly make it appeal to human weaknesses!"
South Park
"You didn't build a mobile game. You built an addiction machine!"
South Park
"It's all aboot finding the heaviest users"
South Park
"That's how you get addicts to pay 200 bucks"
South Park
"I don't know if you're listening,"
South Park
"but I guess I have something inside me that I can't control,"
South Park
"something kind of dark."
South Park
"You have summoned the prince of temptation for what purpose?"
South Park
"So you've got dopamine, right?"
South Park
"That's the chemical that gets released in your brain"
South Park
"whenever you do something pleasurable like eating, sex."
South Park
"And that's just nature, right?"
South Park
"Like, rabbits and fish and shit,"
South Park
"they need dopamine so that they want to consume and reproduce."
South Park
"Okay."
South Park
"But because humans have progressed"
South Park
"and now have access to all the shit they want"
South Park
"it's easy for them to overdo and have dopamine problems."
South Park
"So there's nothing spiritually wrong with me?"
South Park
"Fuck no."
South Park
"It's like... okay, it's like being diabetic."
South Park
"You know, it's like you can eat wrong and eat wrong,"
South Park
"You know, you've been eating gluten and shit."
South Park
"And something clicked and now you're diabetic forever, right?"
South Park
"and you're kind of screwed up for life."
South Park
"I can get addicted to everything so I can't enjoy anything?"
South Park
"Yeah, that's pretty much what it means."
South Park
"Well, who's not filling a fucking hole, right?"
South Park
"- You still have time? - Yeah, no, this is great."
South Park
"Okay, let me get some visual aids."
South Park
"Here is a fact..."
South Park
"Using slot-machine tactics,"
South Park
"off of an even smaller percentage of mobile gamers."
South Park
"Oh, God, he just doesn't stop!"
South Park
"We're building a new Canada with micro-payments from addicts."
South Park
"You think the fucking alcohol industry cares?"
South Park
"They don't care that 10% are gonna get addicted."
South Park
"I'm the Canadian devil! Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha!"
South Park
"Beelzaboot!"
South Park
"Now the souls of all Canadians belong to me!"
South Park
"Oh, no! Oh, what have I done?!"
South Park
"So, basically, the genes you got from your dad"
South Park
"with, um, dopamine regulation,"
South Park
"and that's why you need to kind of watch out"
South Park
"for addictive stuff."
South Park
"I guess so."
South Park
"You know, they all do it, and it's kind of my deal."
South Park
"It's a freemium game sending me push notifications."
South Park
"How much money can you buy today?"
South Park
"No, see, if something's addictive because it's fun,"
South Park
"Wait a minute. Who put this out?"
South Park
"Oh, that son of a bitch. He's always doing this shit!"
South Park
"but he goes and does this crap again."
South Park
"I'm gonna need to borrow your soul real quick, kid."
South Park
"Is that all right?"
South Park
"Oh, pass interference! Interference!"
South Park
"Stan? Where are you going?"
South Park
"Told ya. Kid's got demons."
South Park
"of the souls of every Canadian."
South Park
"as the actual devil has now appeared"
South Park
"But then again, he is the one"
South Park
"You all right?"
South Park
"Yeah. Yeah, I think I'm gonna be okay."
South Park
"We have all learned a tragic lesson together"
South Park
"Okay, good idea."
South Park
"What are you gaywads doing?"
South Park
"so that Grampa avoids the casino"
South Park
"Board games go good with a glass of wine."
South Park
"It's not "drinking.""
South Park
"It's called a wine zinfandel sipping sprint,"
South Park
"and it's competitive."
South Park
"# Friendly faces everywhere #"
South Park
"# Humble folks without temptation #"
South Park
"# I'm goin' down to South Park #"
South Park
"# Gonna leave my woes behind #"
South Park
"the f-f-fantastic news."
South Park
"You're amazing!"
South Park
"We're playing the "Terrance & Phillip" freemium game."
South Park
"All right. Fuck it."
South Park
"we've introduced the idea of micro-paying with money."
South Park
"Can you believe him?"
South Park
"but this is a lot like his Grampa."
South Park
"Now I only drink gluten-free beer and wine."
South Park
"entice the player with a simple game loop,"
South Park
"then there would be no reason to micro-pay"
South Park
"It's the way things are going!"
South Park
"You missed school today?"
South Park
"Jimmy told me about this game."
South Park
"Kenny, who told you about this game?"
South Park
"Fmph?"
South Park
"All the cool kids are using it."
South Park
"- Hey, uh, Jimmy, can we talk? - Well, sure, fellas."
South Park
"Anyway, be sure to check it out, kid."
South Park
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