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Clips from South Park - Freemium Isn't Free (S18E18)

"# Gonna have myself a time #"
South Park
"# Gonna see if I can't unwind #"
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"I just wanted to make sure you've heard"
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"You should download it to your phone right now."
South Park
"In this game, you are Terrance and Phillip."
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"and help Terrance and Phillip rebuild Canada."
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"Run around and collect more coins,"
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"Well, it's just 49 cents for the cheapest one."
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"I played that thing. It's fucking dumb."
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"That's 200,000 more American dollars in just one day."
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"All you do is collect and spend Canadough."
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"If you charge 40 cents here and 50 cents there,"
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"But whereas those just use the concept of XP,"
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"What are "Canadian coins"?"
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"You buy Canadian coins so you have Canadough."
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"with drinking."
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"I had a problem, but I was able to stop."
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"that doesn't allow him to stop."
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"the successful freemium game is based on five principles..."
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"to make the player feel good about themselves,"
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"for your fake currency..."
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"Your checks, of course,"
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"Hey, Phillip!"
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"Yeah, I just wasn't feeling the best."
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"Did you play the "Terrance & Phillip" freemium game all day?"
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"Well, yeah, I was sick in bed. What else was I gonna do?"
South Park
"Wait, wait, wait. Jimmy told you about this game?"
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"Yeah, come on over. C-Check this out."
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"The "Terrance & Phillip" mobile game."
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"- Aw, I don't know. - Come on. Just try it out."
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"It's the perfect thing if you're bored."
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"You need to stop recommending that app to people."
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"It's not a fabulous app. It's fucking stupid."
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"Let me ask you something, Jimmy."
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"You just push it on other people?"
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"You've both done an amazing job."
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"all funded by one freemium game."
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"Uh, listen, uh, we've been talking it over,"
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"But just look at all the things we're getting to build."
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"How about we take some of"
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"He sits at that slot machine and mindlessly drains money away"
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"to keep him sitting at that stupid machine."
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"Come on, Dad. We're going home."
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"Ah, go away."
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"You've infected him with your bullshit!"
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"What are you talking about?"
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"- It's just... - It's fun."
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"I'll prove it."
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"with their f-f-free time?"
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"if not from me."
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"to push a freemium game on us."
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"You give it away for free."
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"and then some people can't stop themselves."
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"And now Stan is so consumed by the shit you've been pushing"
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"How could you sell out your friends?!"
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"I needed the money, all right?!"
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"I loved the sparkling little gems,"
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"the sounds they made when I got new ones."
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"Before I knew it, I had spent my allowance,"
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"You have your crutches."
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"That makes sense."
South Park
"You're saying these games do this on purpose?"
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"Why do you think freemium games"
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"It's called a trigger..."
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"Come back, friend. You've got new buddies, guy."
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"We've just given you 5,000 Canadian coins."
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"Free?"
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"What is wrong with you, Stan?"
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"I-I clicked on a few micro-pays and it just kind of added up."
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"$26,000?"
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"It's called a schmorgeswein, and it's elegantly cultural."
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"There is something different about me, you guys."
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"I know the game is stupid,"
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"This is my fault, Stan."
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"It's something to do with my family."
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"You've got to get down on your knees"
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"and you've got to say, "I have a problem.""
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"People need to know pushers are being hired"
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"to take advantage of people with addiction problems."
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"But there's something very wrong"
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"who download freemium games ever pay anything for them."
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"for a game that's not even worth 40 cents."
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"Here, have a bump of coke."
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"whenever they want it,"
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"and chemicals get released from your liver in a weird way."
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"And then eventually you've got a chemical imbalance"
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"So, what does that mean?"
South Park
"You know? I mean, what kind of bullshit is that?"
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"So, let's talk about genetics now."
South Park
"80% of alcohol sales are paid for by alcoholics."
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"freemiums games are able to make millions"
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"They're counting on it! It's the same with us."
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"Every button they click,"
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"right down their throats."
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"Oh, dear God! It's the Canadian devil!"
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"Hee hee hee! Ha ha ha!"
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"But why do companies have to put"
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"I've got to put temptation out there, too,"
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"so people have free will and all that shit."
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"But, you know, everyone has their justification"
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"and thinks what they're doing is okay."
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"What's this?"
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"That's what I've been addicted to."
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"that's one thing."
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"I tell him temptation has to be nuanced,"
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"Okay."
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"I shall return. Do not attempt to stop me."
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"When the prince signed the agreement"
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"to make a freemium game,"
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"Aah! Watch it, guy!"
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"and seems to be fighting the Canadian devil."
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"For that, let's ask the minister of sport in Edmonton."
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"Well, of course, the patriotic thing to do"
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"who has promised us pain and servitude for a million years."
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"My fellow Canadians, what we do now as a country"
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"will hopefully be a model for others."
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"and then I'm gonna roll to kill this zombie."
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"and I avoid freemium apps."
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"that you won for drinking."
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"Your turn, Grampa."
South Park
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