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Clips from South Park - Freemium Isn't Free (S18E18)

"# People spouting howdy neighbor #"
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"and it's so amazing and incredibly fun."
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"And the most unbelievable part..."
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"It's totally free!"
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"I mean, come on."
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"If it's free, why wouldn't you?"
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"Cool. Thanks, Jimmy. Well, I'll check it out."
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"Can you collect all the Canadian coins?"
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"You've collected 10 Canadian coins!"
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"Hey, you're really good at this, guy."
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"With Canada coins, you can buy stuff"
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"Now use that Canadough to help rebuild Canada."
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"- Yay! - Yay!"
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"It's still stupid, and now I paid 49 cents for it."
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"I ended paying like five bucks."
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"Oh, it's tewiffic!"
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"without our approval?"
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"Oh, Terrance and Phillip."
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"How are Canada's two favorite buddies?"
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"What gives you the right to make"
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"Oh, I'm only the prince of Canada."
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"And this happens to be the minister of mobile gaming."
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"We thought you would be pleased"
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"It's the dumbest game ever."
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"Hey, we know the game's not great."
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"But who cares? It's free!"
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"But it's not free."
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"then it's not free."
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"They see through the charade."
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"I'm pretty sure they can hear us, too."
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"so you might as well know everything."
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"behind micro-pay freemium gaming."
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"you pay for the game, and you enjoy."
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"but if you pay for incentives, you're rewarded."
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"It's a simple cycle,"
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"Explore, collect, spend, improve."
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"or experience points,"
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"Money, money, money, money, money, money."
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"It's what everyone is doing. Freemium games are what's now."
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"And it's all just a lot of harmless fun."
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"You're in big trouble, Stanley."
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"Stan, just because I make a good living with my music"
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"doesn't mean you can go blow it all on Canadough."
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"I don't know! I'll figure it out!"
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"He knew how much he was spending."
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"He knew he'd get in trouble, but it didn't matter."
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"Dad's always had a gambling problem."
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"He's got total addiction tendencies."
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"Could he have somehow passed those demons down to Stan?"
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"Well, and you certainly have some of those problems, too,"
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"use lots of flashing "cha-chings" and compliments"
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"train the players to spend your fake currency,"
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"but let the player pay not to wait."
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"It's a surefire way to make lots of money."
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"We understand micro-paying,"
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"but can't the game hidden inside the charade"
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"If the game was too fun,"
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"in order to make it more fun."
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"What's this?"
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"for 10 million American dollars, each."
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"So this is... Everyone is doing this?"
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"Everyone is doing it!"
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"Oh, hey, guys."
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"Nothing."
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"Dude, I bought like $10 worth of Canadough."
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"But check it out. I unlocked a stadium in Toronto."
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"You guys, is it that much dumber than video games you play?"
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"It's just, like, something to kill some time."
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"Like Jimmy said, it's a cool way to zone out."
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"Psst. Hey, kid. Come over here."
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"You looking to have some fun?"
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"You can be Terrance, or Phillip, or both."
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"Just hanging out. What are you up to?"
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"Mrph!"
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"Everyone we know says they heard about it from you."
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"I just think it's a fabulous app. That's all."
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"What happens on level two after you get the Ontario nugget?"
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"All right, all right. I never played it."
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"I stay away from the stuff."
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"- They pay me to! - Who, Jimmy?!"
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"Who pays you?!"
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"and we really aren't comfortable with this freemium thing."
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"Oh, what is the matter?"
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"It seems dishonest, and we have a brand to protect."
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"We're just worried that some people will abuse the game"
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"and start spending more money than they can afford."
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"Oh, no!"
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"Oh, I have an idea."
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"and we start a campaign to teach everyone"
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"to play the game in moderation?"
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"Do you really think that would help?"
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"Of course!"
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"Drink more. Expensive cars."
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"You in a tuxedo fucking this girl!"
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"Drink it all, you fucking pussy!"
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"Drink, drink, drink!"
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"I want you to see this."
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"a little bit at a time."
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"All the little sounds and lights are calculated"
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"Do you know what you've done to your grandson?"
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"I just don't understand what is wrong with you two."
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"What is the joy that this stuff possibly brings you?"
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"It's not fun!"
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"Well, what about you? You're having a glass of wine."
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"I'm not having a glass of wine."
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"I'm having six."
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"Dad, I'm not addicted. I can stop."
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"I just like playing it, but I don't have to."
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"Yeah, and if he stops, I'll stop."
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"And if you two stop, then we won't have a problem anymore."
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"Hmm."
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"Is it my responsibility what people decide to do"
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"People were going to learn about the game somewhere"
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"You give away a little taste, and then..."
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"that he can't even see through it!"
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"I downloaded Yum Yum Sparkly Gem Forest"
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"then my birthday money."
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"It's a figure of speech with crippled people."
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"but they ain't worth much."
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"send you those text notifications"
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