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Clips from The Simpsons - Moe Goes from Rags to Riches (S23E23)

"Perhaps to the South of France."
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"We're in the South of France!"
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"One day, as rosy-fingered Dawn"
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"wiped the morning gunk from her eyes,"
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"the Duc came to claim his infernal drapes."
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"What an age for prosthetics we live in."
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"Silence! I have reached my verdict."
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"It's not what I expected."
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"And yet... it's beautiful!"
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"But it's also not what I expected."
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"Burn down their house!"
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"But Le Duc was about to be called home"
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"to the worst kind of hell: medieval hell."
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"Hey, let's show some French courage and beat up the corpse!"
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"Come on, Ralphie, have a try."
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"Hm-hmm, mm-hm."
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"Mm-hmm, hm."
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"Even for a tapestry made of demon wool,"
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"this was hard to watch."
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"I was moved to a magnificent cathedral"
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"and learned that tapestries"
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"were the rock stars of the Middle Ages."
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"I had legions of what you now call groupies."
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"It felt like the good times"
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"But then cruel fate knocked upon the door..."
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"Guys, it ain't working-- the door's too strong."
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"You just broke your vow of silence."
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"Oh!"
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"This Viking stuff is too dangerous."
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"I'm going to become a gentleman art thief."
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"Huh?"
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"Hmm, what the...?"
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"Spooky."
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"Hmm... hmm."
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"Oh. Well, that helps."
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"Milhouse!"
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"Milhouse!"
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"Hmm?"
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"What is it, Bart?"
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"Listen, um... after our fight, I couldn't sleep."
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"Well, I was doing fine."
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"Come on, man. At least listen to what I have to say."
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"Um... well..."
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"this is usually the part where you say you're sorry."
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"Bart, I'm not your puppet."
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"I know, I made you into a real boy last week."
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"And I'll always be grateful."
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"They're a tough pair, huh?"
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"If you let me in, I'll give you the Heimlich."
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"Hm-mm."
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"So to recap: I had been unjustly torn"
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"from my lofty perch."
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"I wound up as a barter in Persia."
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"You have taken our gold"
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"That's right. And if anyone asked who swindled you,"
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"it was Christians."
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"Remember that name: Christians."
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"I found myself in the court of the young Persian king,"
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"a cruel king who demanded"
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"constant entertainment from his wives."
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"Eh. Throw her in the pit of boring wives."
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"We never go out anymore."
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"Are you even listening to me?"
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"My sister has a much bigger pit."
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"Dude, you've already discarded, like, 500 wives."
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"I think it's weird that you're counting."
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"Send in the next one!"
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"Eh, pit her."
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"Wait, wait, wait!"
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"I can, uh, tell you a story!"
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"Cease your dragging!"
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"Uh... There once was a boy named Ali Baba."
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"He and his elder brother Cassim"
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"who traded in camels and spices and--"
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"Okay, just a couple thoughts on your direction so far."
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"One day, while out for a walk,"
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"Ali Baba was set upon by a thief."
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"Make that two thieves!"
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"A million thieves!"
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"Too many."
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"Forty thieves."
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"With her inventiveness and wit,"
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"the clever wife entertained her king"
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"for a thousand and one nights."
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"And while he slept, she freed her imprisoned compatriots."
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"Uh, it was cooler in the pit."
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"And that's how the camel got its hump."
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"Another story!"
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"For once, couldn't you just take"
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"a few minutes to let the previous story sink in?"
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"You dare refuse your king?"
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"Uh-oh."
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"My downward spiral continued."
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"Only cowards use blindfolds."
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"I didn't know you were doing that!"
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"I was unfit for even the most sordid uses."
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"How's your neck, Your Lordship? No splinters or nuffin'?"
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"I fear the axe less than that filthy rag."
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"You talk fancy now, but you'll twitch like the rest."
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"All too true, I fear."
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"Shut up!"
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"But then, at my lowest ebb, a moment of hope."
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"I played a pivotal role in creating"
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"one of the masterpieces of Western art."
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"Michelangelo!"
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"When will you be finished?"
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"Hey, you want a quickie? You go to Raphael, baby."
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"The artist was never satisfied."
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"How about now? Nope."
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"That's perfect!"
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"Now would you like to protect your investment"
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"with a clear coat?"
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"Hm, let me discuss it with my wife."
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"The masterpiece was finished"
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"and so was the use for me."
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"And then..."
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"You know, Moe, it might be time to buy a new bar rag."
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"Yeah, yeah, sure thing. I'll get right on it."
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"No way I would abandon you, Raggie."
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"You're my best friend."
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