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Clips from Superstore - Mateo's Last Day (S02E02)

"Glen, just ignore this."
Superstore
"That guy's a troll."
Superstore
"No, uh, no."
Superstore
"non-mythical who writes mean things on the Internet."
Superstore
"- What? - Yeah, 99% of the Internet"
Superstore
"It's actually why I am considering"
Superstore
"- leaving social media. - Just do it, already."
Superstore
"Ugh, you don't get points for talking about it."
Superstore
"Hey, what'd you put for nature of relationship?"
Superstore
"They only have "spouse," "family member," and "romantic.""
Superstore
"Yeah, I just marked romantic, basically because"
Superstore
"it was the closest to where my pen already was."
Superstore
"Okay, look. There is nothing romantic"
Superstore
"about this relationship."
Superstore
"I have been very clear about that."
Superstore
"Yeah, I agree with you. But we're not family members"
Superstore
"and we're definitely not married, so..."
Superstore
"I'm calling Corporate."
Superstore
"You've called Corporate so much"
Superstore
"that you have memorized their number?"
Superstore
"Ask for extension 224."
Superstore
"If the operator hears my voice, she won't put me through."
Superstore
"Yeah, extension 224, please."
Superstore
"Ha! I got through!"
Superstore
"You know, I feel kinda bad that I got promoted"
Superstore
"and you guys didn't."
Superstore
"Oh, is getting transferred"
Superstore
"because you're sleeping with Jeff considered a promotion?"
Superstore
"He's so jealous."
Superstore
"- Hey, there you are. - Hey."
Superstore
"Got your transfer paperwork right here."
Superstore
"So just go ahead and fill that out"
Superstore
"and get it turned in to me with your Social Security card"
Superstore
"- and we're good to go. - Cool."
Superstore
"Um, I-I can actually just give you the number."
Superstore
"Uh, no, they actually need to see the card these days."
Superstore
"They gotta run it through E-Verify."
Superstore
"- Is that gonna be a problem? - No, no, no."
Superstore
"No, I just didn't realize this store was like Nazi Germany."
Superstore
"Ve must see your documents. Heil Hitler, Mein Fuhrer."
Superstore
"- Social Security card. - Great, no problem."
Superstore
"No... no problem."
Superstore
"No. No, we don't."
Superstore
"Oh."
Superstore
"So, like, won't that be an issue?"
Superstore
"Yes!"
Superstore
"So... that's it."
Superstore
"I'm gonna get deported."
Superstore
"And Jeff is gonna get back together with his ex."
Superstore
"Oh, congratulations, Chad. You win."
Superstore
"You know what? Maybe you should try talking to Jeff."
Superstore
"Maybe he could... he could, like,"
Superstore
"- Mm. - Great idea."
Superstore
""Hey Jeff, you know how"
Superstore
""you're barely even allowed to date me?"
Superstore
"And I'd marry you if I could."
Superstore
"But I'm supposed to marry Bo and he already bought a tie."
Superstore
"You know what?"
Superstore
"Screw it. I'll do it."
Superstore
"I'll marry you."
Superstore
"Ew."
Superstore
"I don't understand the problem."
Superstore
"The problem, Maureen, is you have boxes"
Superstore
"for eight different types of "Pacific Islander,""
Superstore
"but only three for what this relationship is."
Superstore
"Well, it's just for the files."
Superstore
"It doesn't matter. Just check the box"
Superstore
"and let's move on with our lives."
Superstore
"This doesn't mean that you're in love."
Superstore
"It's just saying that you're in a relationship"
Superstore
"Maureen, we're gonna need to speak to your supervisor."
Superstore
"Sometimes people ask me, "Hey, how'd you get"
Superstore
"those light bulbs way up there?""
Superstore
"And the answer is: I don't know."
Superstore
"Oh, hey, Amy. This is Amy."
Superstore
"She's our intrepid floor supervisor."
Superstore
"Amy, this is him."
Superstore
"Frenchfryguy81."
Superstore
"Tim."
Superstore
"The troll who wrote the Yelp review."
Superstore
"Oh, oh. No, I wouldn't call him that."
Superstore
"But... so, you invited him back?"
Superstore
"Yeah, I mean, I couldn't rest knowing there was"
Superstore
"you know, quote "a bleep show.""
Superstore
"Oh, I'm sorry."
Superstore
"I was probably having a pretty bad day"
Superstore
"- when I wrote that review. - Oh, we all come down"
Superstore
"with a case of the crabs sometimes."
Superstore
"That's an interesting choice of words."
Superstore
"Yeah, anyway, I'm giving him the VIP tour."
Superstore
"Come on, I'll show you the giant trash compactor."
Superstore
"- Oh, that is the VIP tour. - Yeah."
Superstore
"- Have fun. - What else have you written?"
Superstore
"Uh, I once wrote a review of the Burger King down on Delmar."
Superstore
"Oh, I would love to read that."
Superstore
"So is the fear you'd be committing some kind of fraud?"
Superstore
"No, Robbie, Robbie. You're not listening to us."
Superstore
"This is strictly sex. No one stays over"
Superstore
"and we keep an even tally in terms of orgasms."
Superstore
"Actually, now that I think about it,"
Superstore
"- I owe you a... yeah. - I am well aware."
Superstore
"This is T.J. from Legal."
Superstore
"I've only been on the call the last 36 minutes,"
Superstore
"but I still think that the totality of the circumstances"
Superstore
"points to a romantic relationship."
Superstore
"- Come on. - Mm, dude, no, man."
Superstore
"In a relationship, you know things about the other person."
Superstore
"I don't know anything about Dina, nor do I care to."
Superstore
"The feeling's mutual. Where did I grow up?"
Superstore
"I don't know. Is my father dead or alive?"
Superstore
"What is, "Don't care, Alex?""
Superstore
"Guys, it's just a box."
Superstore
"Actually, sorry to be a fly in the ointment,"
Superstore
"but if there are absolutely no feelings of intimacy involved,"
Superstore
"it could make things a little grayer, legally."
Superstore
"- Yes, that's our point. - Thank you."
Superstore
"Well thank God we looped in T.J."
Superstore
"Hey, Glenn."
Superstore
"We found a muddy tire in Softlines."
Superstore
"Nobody knows how it got there and we don't know"
Superstore
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