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Clips from The Simpsons - Sweets and Sour Marge (S13E13)

"Helen Fielding's giving them pigs Bridget Jones' diarrhea."
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"Well, what about this? The Duff Book of World Records."
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"It's got pictures of deformities."
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"Okay."
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"a man could attach to his face is 87!"
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"You counting the neck?"
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"You know I am."
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"All right. Outside."
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"Peace, my people. All shall be looked up. Let's see."
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"Jeez, I was wrong. But I ain't angry."
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"Wow, that's the best book I've ever seen."
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"No. The best book you've ever seen is Tom Clancy's Op-Center."
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"So pack your..."
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"You're a cinch to be the world's fattest man."
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"No, I'm here for the greatest living actor."
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"What's the longest anyone's ever done this?"
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"Shut up. Okay."
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"since Elke Sommer's hot tub party."
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"Okay. Let me check the specs."
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"All right, I'll make base camp here"
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"Not yet. You have to hold it for three Mississippi's."
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"Oh, my hairstyle!"
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"Goodbye, cruel world."
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"Hello, ironic twist!"
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"Yee-ha!"
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"Now that everyone's so open about being fat,"
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"I don't know how this town got so fat."
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"Here, have one of my fudge-stuffed toaster pies."
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"Sugar-free donuts!"
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"Huh."
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"Apu, everything in this store is overloaded with sugar."
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"it's also terribly, terribly addictive."
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"Damn it!"
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"to the Choco-Blasted Baby Aspirin,"
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"comes from the Motherloving Sugar Corporation."
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"Excuse me. I'm looking for the head of Motherloving Sugar."
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"Long-time customer, first-time complainer."
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""Get the hell out of my office"?"
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"Or at least warn people that it's so unhealthy."
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"Hey!"
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"Look, lady, if you have a problem,"
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"But we're on hiatus. Everyone's everywhere."
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"There was one in a cage, but he wasn't moving."
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"and I don't know how to stop them."
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"I'm not sure I can afford a fancy lawyer."
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"That's okay, Mom. Today's law schools are churning out 2.1 lawyers"
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"Me so litigious!"
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"for selling a harmful product."
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"and Rick James Bibles."
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"Sure. I'll join your lawsuit."
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"Oh, shoot. I'll sign."
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"Figure them sugar folk owe me"
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"I'm trying to slim down so I can fit into Momma's coffin."
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"How do you like it? How do you like it?"
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"More, more, more"
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"Oh, hello, Homer."
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"Well, well. If it isn't the woman"
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"who's too busy saving the world to save her own marriage."
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"Why didn't you just turn off the oven?"
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"I was hoping we could do that together!"
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"Well, we knew perfectly well it was addictive."
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"Frink, you little weasel! I'll kill you!"
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"I'll allow it."
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"by some surprising taste-imony."
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"Sir, this is a house of justice, not a sugar shack."
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"And thanks to Marge Simpson's damning evidence,"
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"I hereby ban all sugar products from Springfield forever."
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"Get in the car."
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"Good evening. Our top story,"
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"Springfield's cake-hole has been shut forever."
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"That was a group effort."
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"Okay, that was mine."
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"to such old friends as mud pies,"
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"We melted for him. Now he's gonna do likewise."
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"Hmm. It's not even singed."
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"Aye. They're not riding the white horse anymore."
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"I'm with you all the way. But first..."
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"Gentlemen, I have found the final member of our cabal."
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"Oh, you mean Tennessee?"
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"'Cause I sure haven't."
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"Surrender or prepare to be sunk!"
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"I'm rowing as fast as I can, sir!"
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"No! I'm having one."
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"Remember what I told you about running away from your troubles?"
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"My baby!"
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"Don't listen to her, Homer!"
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"Sugar is pouring into the water!"
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"This sugar shark is delicious. Ow! Hey, he bit me back!"
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"I wildly exceeded my authority,"
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"Maybe I should just stop trying to change the world."
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"You're a regular Caring-a-lot-ovich."
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"That's what I told Lisa."
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"Oh! My brain!"
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"If I don't want them for free,"
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"why would I want to pay for them?"
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"Why do you always wait till we arrive to complain?"
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"I don't know."
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"Ah. The full Leonard Nimoy cycle, I Am Not Spock,"
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"Mmm. That's what we look like inside?"
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"It's disgusting!"
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"Oh. That lady swallowed a baby!"
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"Good heavens!"
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"Lisa, you're not buying more than your weight in books."
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"But I have to save them."
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"The books no one buys get chopped up and fed to pigs."
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"Oh."
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"Oh, my God!"
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"Wow. Now that's a goiter."
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"Why would Duff beer put out a book?"
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"It was originally published to settle arguments in taverns."
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"She said tavern! I'm going to Moe's!"
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"I never agreed to that rule!"
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"Well, I say the most clothespins"
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"Most clothespins swallowed, inserted..."
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"Here we go. Clipped to face and neck. 116."
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"That thing knows me better than I know myself."
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"Oh. Here's a good one. The world's most overrated saint..."
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"Francis of Assisi. Francis of Assisi."
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"Oh, I've used up all these records."
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"Why don't you try to set a record, Dad?"
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