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Clips from Joe Dirt

"Looks like Charlie!"
Joe Dirt
"Yep. Apparently, back in the day,"
Joe Dirt
"Charlie had a little sexual encounter with this one's ma."
Joe Dirt
"- Good boy. - You got a big family now, Joe Dirt."
Joe Dirt
"Hey! You're talkin' to my guy all wrong."
Joe Dirt
"It's the wrong tone."
Joe Dirt
"Do it again, I'll stab you in the face with a soldering iron."
Joe Dirt
"Okay."
Joe Dirt
"At least I know my car will blow his off the road!"
Joe Dirt
"You actually think you can match that little Slant Six of yours against his 426 Hemi?"
Joe Dirt
"Well, then let's do it, little boy."
Joe Dirt
"This next song goes out to our good friend, Joe Dirt, the dirt man."
Joe Dirt
"Joe, wherever you are, this is for you, buddy."
Joe Dirt
"Welcome home, Joe."
Joe Dirt
"Turn it up."
Joe Dirt
"Joe Dirte."
Joe Dirt
"Everything's gonna happen for me,"
Joe Dirt
"You boys got something to say to me?"
Joe Dirt
"Check, one, two. Testing, testing."
Joe Dirt
"And then the bones grew together and it got all infused and entwined."
Joe Dirt
"I mean, do you really care? It's actually not an easy story to tell."
Joe Dirt
"It's not often I get a freak like you plopped into my lap."
Joe Dirt
"And while they was checking out the sights and the donkeys and whatnot,"
Joe Dirt
"I somehow got separated from 'em."
Joe Dirt
"Dad!"
Joe Dirt
"Dad!"
Joe Dirt
"I started walkin' till the cops picked me up and put me into a foster home."
Joe Dirt
"he'd take me hunting with him and his dog."
Joe Dirt
"Queer? Is this queer?"
Joe Dirt
"Look at this guy. He must be retarded."
Joe Dirt
"You're cool."
Joe Dirt
"No, that can't be. That's not what it is."
Joe Dirt
"Dead giveaway."
Joe Dirt
"Then what happened?"
Joe Dirt
"Well, then I got a dog."
Joe Dirt
"It's called Silvertown."
Joe Dirt
"And I'd come in to steal stuff, you know, food, whatever."
Joe Dirt
"And then one winter..."
Joe Dirt
"- I think your dog's in a little trouble here. - What's wrong?"
Joe Dirt
"- Baby! What do we do? - We got to do something,"
Joe Dirt
"No, no. A spatula thing. The flat one."
Joe Dirt
"Long-haired hippie freak."
Joe Dirt
"I'll be your friend."
Joe Dirt
"Brandy always wanted to hang out with me."
Joe Dirt
"And I had Charlie, so that was cool."
Joe Dirt
"Dirt, did I get you?"
Joe Dirt
"Boy, I swear I oughta slap you silly."
Joe Dirt
"I tell you what. Why don't you practice spittin' out teeth,"
Joe Dirt
"Robby, I only have enough money for me and Joe."
Joe Dirt
"Yeah. One day, I'm gonna marry that girl."
Joe Dirt
"- Guess who came back, Charlie? - Dad, no!"
Joe Dirt
"Well, how much you want for it?"
Joe Dirt
"I'm sorry."
Joe Dirt
"No, you can."
Joe Dirt
"Hey! Go back!"
Joe Dirt
"- I can see down your shirt. - What an ass."
Joe Dirt
"But then the most amazing thing happened."
Joe Dirt
"Man, I got it. It's comin'."
Joe Dirt
"Why don't you stick your head up my butt and fight for air?"
Joe Dirt
"The next day I was gonna try the police sketch thing,"
Joe Dirt
"Well, I see you got them snakes and sparklers,"
Joe Dirt
"but where's the good stuff, man?"
Joe Dirt
"no Roman candles or Screamin' Mimis?"
Joe Dirt
"Yeah, because they gave him powers, the aliens."
Joe Dirt
"We'll shoot fireballs at it."
Joe Dirt
"We gotta step way back. This is gonna be fun."
Joe Dirt
"Don't you see? All the tourists at the canyon that day my parents lost me,"
Joe Dirt
"But that was more than 10 years ago."
Joe Dirt
"We're just an Indian and some guy."
Joe Dirt
"She's way too hot for me."
Joe Dirt
"Kicking Wing!"
Joe Dirt
"Yesterday, provide a little backstory for the listeners,"
Joe Dirt
"Whatever you gotta tell yourself, Joe Dirt."
Joe Dirt
"So, I hit the road with my list of names,"
Joe Dirt
"I got you, buddy."
Joe Dirt
"- Is that right? - Yeah."
Joe Dirt
"- Balls to the wall. - Yeah."
Joe Dirt
"Yeah, I had to have a footprint gas pedal installed."
Joe Dirt
"So, I stole this pile."
Joe Dirt
"You just said your sister's hot!"
Joe Dirt
"I miss you, Brandy."
Joe Dirt
"Good morning, LA. Zander here."
Joe Dirt
"What really happened was,"
Joe Dirt
"I had a car now, so I left the carnival and kept runnin' down the names on my list"
Joe Dirt
"Where's my supplies?"
Joe Dirt
"Auto Trader!"
Joe Dirt
"This guy wants 14 grand."
Joe Dirt
"Then he was gonna wear the skin around the house with his wiener"
Joe Dirt
"The past is past, the future's now."
Joe Dirt
"Born and raised. No, not here."
Joe Dirt
"New York City. I mean, Kansas."
Joe Dirt
"Her legs went on for days."
Joe Dirt
"If she was here right now, maybe we'd have a house with a little fence"
Joe Dirt
"I assure you I won't. I'm a vegetarian,"
Joe Dirt
"I like kids. They seem to like..."
Joe Dirt
"Does your mother sew?"
Joe Dirt
""Don't eat it! Don't eat it! Here's a hot dog!""
Joe Dirt
"Come on, Joe Dirt!"
Joe Dirt
"- I'm gonna shoot him right through his heart. - All right, let's go."
Joe Dirt
"That soft honey-blonde hair."
Joe Dirt
"Joe, there's somethin' you should think about."
Joe Dirt
"For sure, man. How many?"
Joe Dirt
"Well, then,"
Joe Dirt
"- That's brutal. - The brutal part?"
Joe Dirt
"Folks, grab the kids."
Joe Dirt
"Rocky!"
Joe Dirt
"Goddamn, you outta date, boy."
Joe Dirt
"But you know that saying, "Things get the darkest before dawn"?"
Joe Dirt
"My search was over."
Joe Dirt
"She wouldn't not tell me about my parents. I don't care how sick of me she is."
Joe Dirt
"Freddy? Freddy, get line 3 on speaker."
Joe Dirt
"Yeah, I got a couple places."
Joe Dirt
"Yeah, Joe."
Joe Dirt
"Joe, I did find where your parents were."
Joe Dirt
"Their car was hit by a passin' truck, a hit-and-run."
Joe Dirt
"You rule, Joe!"
Joe Dirt
"We are here with America's sweetheart, Joe Dirt."
Joe Dirt
"You're on TRL, California."
Joe Dirt
"and it led me to this old trailer park in Simi Valley, California."
Joe Dirt
"Exactly how long?"
Joe Dirt
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