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Clips from Joe Dirt

"I don't care about that! And I don't care about you!"
Joe Dirt
"- Hey, you're grounded! - Hey, TV people! Why are y'all goin' away?"
Joe Dirt
"I'm worthless."
Joe Dirt
"Joe!"
Joe Dirt
"I love you, Joe, with all my heart."
Joe Dirt
"You really love me?"
Joe Dirt
"- No! - Joe! Joe!"
Joe Dirt
"- It's Gert B. Frobe. - Wha?"
Joe Dirt
"I asked for Silvertown,"
Joe Dirt
"- Let's rock, Dirtboy. - Let's go!"
Joe Dirt
"Now, it's time for the good stuff!"
Joe Dirt
"Why don't you talk in the microphone?"
Joe Dirt
"Pretty much, man. It's a long story, actually."
Joe Dirt
"See, my parents and my sister and I all went to the Grand Canyon."
Joe Dirt
"Here on Earth, we call this place a town."
Joe Dirt
"Holy crap, ladies."
Joe Dirt
"Here's what we do."
Joe Dirt
"Shut the hell up and just give me the mutt now."
Joe Dirt
"Right. I got a big bunch of names."
Joe Dirt
"I hope you find what you're looking for."
Joe Dirt
"It's the wrong tone."
Joe Dirt
"Maybe find a better town."
Joe Dirt
"- Can I ask you a question? - Sure, honey. Shoot."
Joe Dirt
"Baton Rouge, Louisiana."
Joe Dirt
"And I think a little part of me died right there."
Joe Dirt
"I thought I had broken my ass bone."
Joe Dirt
"Why would Robby say such a thing?"
Joe Dirt
"You taught me to sell the good stuff."
Joe Dirt
"Yeah."
Joe Dirt
"That's my girl."
Joe Dirt
"I learned cows don't find bottle rockets as funny as I do."
Joe Dirt
"I'm a rocker, dude, through and through."
Joe Dirt
"You stick 'em in mailboxes, you drop 'em in toilets."
Joe Dirt
"Clem, are you from around here? 'Cause your accent sounds like"
Joe Dirt
"So, there I was, right back where I started all those years ago,"
Joe Dirt
"Even worse, 4% said the dog was too hot for you."
Joe Dirt
"- A little drinky-drinky. - The reason I'm really callin'"
Joe Dirt
"Come on, Joe. Remember what you said on the show?"
Joe Dirt
"I found a guy who had pictures, but he turned out to be a freak."
Joe Dirt
"Sweet-lookin' little things, weren't they?"
Joe Dirt
"Look at him!"
Joe Dirt
"and he said that you was always laughin' at me behind my back."
Joe Dirt
"And it's a good thing that gator didn't get my ring finger,"
Joe Dirt
"Well, I'm sure it did, but it ain't no meteor. It's a big old frozen chunk of shit."
Joe Dirt
"Someone shoves an M-80 up a bullfrog's butt, blows him to pieces,"
Joe Dirt
"Speakin' of lickety-split, let's meet up later, see what's goin' on."
Joe Dirt
"Honky Lighters, Husker Du's, Husker Don'ts,"
Joe Dirt
"I keep hearin' about this guy."
Joe Dirt
"Ma'am, you should never drink the bong water."
Joe Dirt
"God almighty. Manna from inbred heaven."
Joe Dirt
"Easy shot."
Joe Dirt
"Stop!"
Joe Dirt
"just so I could simulate immersion into that bacteriologically unsound world"
Joe Dirt
"Help!"
Joe Dirt
"- What's up, goat-roper? - Not much, pig-licker."
Joe Dirt
"So, you've always got Silvertown. Remember that, Joe Dirt."
Joe Dirt
"That's all right. I appreciate this job, man."
Joe Dirt
"my listeners and I have heard an amazing story."
Joe Dirt
"Mr. Dirt, what's with the wig?"
Joe Dirt
"But first..."
Joe Dirt
"That's what I'm talkin' about."
Joe Dirt
"I don't recognize them."
Joe Dirt
"How does it feel to be a hero, Joe?"
Joe Dirt
"I just... He's a friend of mine. This whole thing's my fault."
Joe Dirt
""The Grand Canyon's number-one purveyor of fine bus tours.""
Joe Dirt
"- Radio station ID. - Coming to work."
Joe Dirt
"Don't try and church it up, son. Don't you mean Joe Dirt?"
Joe Dirt
"Jeez, drive this piece of crap off a cliff. Do us all a favor."
Joe Dirt
"You like them spinning tires, do you?"
Joe Dirt
"Psycho."
Joe Dirt
"Right on."
Joe Dirt
"They don't like no feedback. What's up?"
Joe Dirt
"I'm sorry about the noise, sir."
Joe Dirt
"Why don't you come with me? Come on."
Joe Dirt
"I'm wringing this chamois as long as I can."
Joe Dirt
"I mean, I don't mean to get all scientific or whatever."
Joe Dirt
"I got lost."
Joe Dirt
"Hey, is this where you want to be when Jesus comes back, man?"
Joe Dirt
"The family's ditched you. What happens next?"
Joe Dirt
"All right, man."
Joe Dirt
"She sounds like a real winner,"
Joe Dirt
"if she caught me doing stuff."
Joe Dirt
"Dad?"
Joe Dirt
"- Fun, huh? - Yeah!"
Joe Dirt
"I expect your schoolwork to be done every night and laid out for my inspection."
Joe Dirt
"I was 11 years old now, and I'd gotten into a little trouble here and there,"
Joe Dirt
"Making fun of poor little Joe Dirt?"
Joe Dirt
"Ramblin' man"
Joe Dirt
"I was made for dancin"
Joe Dirt
"Like one time, I was jerkin' my gherkin."
Joe Dirt
"but you really shouldn't make fun of my mom."
Joe Dirt
"Other than the fact that you dig looking like Jane Fonda in Klute,"
Joe Dirt
"Well, yeah. I guess I could do that."
Joe Dirt
"People like that security guard,"
Joe Dirt
"you're pretty clean-shaven for a kid who lives in a trash can, no?"
Joe Dirt
"I'm just kinda campin' out or whatever,"
Joe Dirt
"and this goes on for years, until one night something amazing happened."
Joe Dirt
"I wish I knew what happened that one day at that Grand Canyon place."
Joe Dirt
"One, two, three."
Joe Dirt
"- That's so flat. - Awesome."
Joe Dirt
"Lord, I got to gamble Gamblin' man"
Joe Dirt
"This is Zander Kelly. You're listening to 98.6, KXLA."
Joe Dirt
"You're my lucky meteor. Right on."
Joe Dirt
"Yeah."
Joe Dirt
"I need to find a home, Meteor."
Joe Dirt
"We need to settle down."
Joe Dirt
"Yeah. Come on, now."
Joe Dirt
"Yeah."
Joe Dirt
"But just for laughs, let's see how much you're worth."
Joe Dirt
"See, them airplanes, they dump their toilets 36,000 feet,"
Joe Dirt
"You see the peanut?"
Joe Dirt
"than a frozen hunk of crap?"
Joe Dirt
"This is a big old frozen chunk of poopie."
Joe Dirt
"Okay, okay, that's too much, too much."
Joe Dirt
"You can come out now."
Joe Dirt
"frozen in a freezer 'cause it's all wet?"
Joe Dirt
"I was livin' in the woods outside of that postcard town I said."
Joe Dirt
"Are you okay, boy?"
Joe Dirt
"and I guess a little bit of my brains was showing."
Joe Dirt
"Easy."
Joe Dirt
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