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Clips from Joe Dirt

"Where's that dead guy?"
Joe Dirt
"Wait, wait, Joe. Wait."
Joe Dirt
"Watch my hair."
Joe Dirt
"Yep, those came with a six-cylinder 258 automatic with three on the tree."
Joe Dirt
"Now let's see. In Louisiana, 1968, we sold..."
Joe Dirt
"That's just it. I don't know his name. That's what I'm tryin' to find out."
Joe Dirt
"Later, if you come up with their last name, you can go on from there."
Joe Dirt
"By the way, I'm only doin' all of this"
Joe Dirt
"'cause I heard that that Buffalo Bob guy shoved a road flare up your bunghole."
Joe Dirt
"What?"
Joe Dirt
"- Hoorah. - What..."
Joe Dirt
"Nothin' happened with him. Nothin' weird. Nothin'."
Joe Dirt
"Anyway, that list had names from all over the state."
Joe Dirt
"But I was flat broke. I didn't have no money for gas."
Joe Dirt
"So, I found a job, and that led to the biggest break In my case yet."
Joe Dirt
"The way you describe that town out in the northwest, Silvertown."
Joe Dirt
"Your mom and dad still alive?"
Joe Dirt
"Did they die?"
Joe Dirt
"One night, they got swallowed up by the biggest damn gator we ever had."
Joe Dirt
"from the inside by punchin' out his heart, is my guess."
Joe Dirt
"Later that night, I took my mama's hedge clippers"
Joe Dirt
"and cut open that gator and pulled my folks out of its belly."
Joe Dirt
"See, I just couldn't stand the thought"
Joe Dirt
"God, I hate these nasty things!"
Joe Dirt
"If I met the right man,"
Joe Dirt
"I mean, hell, I'd just shut this old gator farm down and..."
Joe Dirt
"But, you know, you probably don't wanna hear all my problems."
Joe Dirt
"Well, I'd better go. It's show time."
Joe Dirt
"And, yes, they are deadly. Don't kid yourself."
Joe Dirt
"Rule number one, I'm number one."
Joe Dirt
"You hear that? I like to kid around."
Joe Dirt
"Rule two, the croc's number two."
Joe Dirt
"- Hey, what's rule three? - What's that?"
Joe Dirt
"Kid, give me a break now."
Joe Dirt
"- So, you don't know rule three? - Yeah, you want a match?"
Joe Dirt
"My face and your ass. How about that, friend?"
Joe Dirt
"I mean, your ass and my face. What's up? Here we go."
Joe Dirt
"I'm a bit of a crocophile, so don't try this at home."
Joe Dirt
"This here's Rocky, and he ain't no puppy."
Joe Dirt
"Now, let's see if Rocky's got some cavities."
Joe Dirt
"Now, this mofo knows not to mess with Sir Joseph Dirt."
Joe Dirt
"Come on. Rocky!"
Joe Dirt
"When bad pets go bad, dang!"
Joe Dirt
"Joe, are you all right?"
Joe Dirt
"It's like the cartoons. I'm seein' all tweet-tweet."
Joe Dirt
"- You're not makin' any sense. - Not makin'?"
Joe Dirt
"That's what my sister said on the way to the Grand Canyon."
Joe Dirt
"My last name's Dirt, her last name's Nunamaker!"
Joe Dirt
"Sir."
Joe Dirt
"Hey, Mister, you know the people who live here, Nunamaker?"
Joe Dirt
"- They moved. - What's that?"
Joe Dirt
"Had a little boy."
Joe Dirt
"Had exact kind of haircut you got now."
Joe Dirt
"Yeah, man. That little boy, that's me."
Joe Dirt
"I thought this was it this time."
Joe Dirt
"You like to see homos naked?"
Joe Dirt
"Yeah. You like to see homos naked."
Joe Dirt
"- That's cool, man. Whatever. - No, no, no, no, no!"
Joe Dirt
"Home is where you make it!"
Joe Dirt
"Home where you make it."
Joe Dirt
"Guy likes to see homos naked. That don't help me."
Joe Dirt
"So, I tried not to move. And I'm lyin' there starin' at the moon."
Joe Dirt
"And for the first time in my life, I think about not gettin' back up."
Joe Dirt
"Maybe I'll just lie there for the rest of my life, you know."
Joe Dirt
"But then, suddenly, while starin' up at the moon,"
Joe Dirt
"Brandy was starin' at that same moon."
Joe Dirt
"And just then, all the tumblers fell into place."
Joe Dirt
"And this door opened in my head, and all at once I understood everything."
Joe Dirt
"You have to find the real answer inside yourself."
Joe Dirt
"And the answer for me was that I had a home all along,"
Joe Dirt
"with a friend that really cared about me."
Joe Dirt
"Brandy. I missed her like crazy,"
Joe Dirt
"Brandy, wish I hadn't gotten the machine. It's me, Joe."
Joe Dirt
"I can't wait to see you and tell you everything."
Joe Dirt
"Yeah!"
Joe Dirt
"Hey, Robby, what's crappenin'?"
Joe Dirt
"Don't get smart with me, you motherless dirtbag!"
Joe Dirt
"Brandy? My Brandy?"
Joe Dirt
"You haven't heard? Me and her are gettin' married."
Joe Dirt
"Yeah. And besides, she don't wanna see you anyway."
Joe Dirt
"- I don't believe that. - Well, it's true."
Joe Dirt
"- She found your stupid parents. - What?"
Joe Dirt
"Yeah, she found 'em down in California."
Joe Dirt
"But she didn't wanna tell you,"
Joe Dirt
"'cause she wants you gone, out on the road lookin' for nothin',"
Joe Dirt
"so you won't be here."
Joe Dirt
"And she's just plain sick of you."
Joe Dirt
"No, she wouldn't do that. I know Brandy."
Joe Dirt
"Yeah? Well, check out this note she left me."
Joe Dirt
"In case you called and I answered the phone."
Joe Dirt
""Dear Robby,"
Joe Dirt
""if Joe calls,"
Joe Dirt
""I found his parents."
Joe Dirt
"Nobody wants you around, period!"
Joe Dirt
"Look at him, fellas."
Joe Dirt
"You cryin', boy? You cryin', boy?"
Joe Dirt
"Maybe we'll go back down to McDonald's"
Joe Dirt
"and get you a whaa-burger and some French cries!"
Joe Dirt
"How about a Whineken?"
Joe Dirt
"You little sissy boy! Def Leppard sucks!"
Joe Dirt
"For the record, I wasn't crying'. There was dirt in my eyes."
Joe Dirt
"Joey, it's not cuttin' it, man. It's jive."
Joe Dirt
"Brandy. Brandy is jive."
Joe Dirt
"And I wanna get her on the phone right now. I wanna track her down."
Joe Dirt
"And I wanna ask her why she was playin' these games with you."
Joe Dirt
"No. No. You know what, guys, I'm fine."
Joe Dirt
"Everything's cool with me."
Joe Dirt
"I do worry about you, man. You know why? Because you're livin' In a boiler room, Joe."
Joe Dirt
"I wanna get this woman on the phone, and I wanna ask her"
Joe Dirt
"what the hell was goin' on back then."
Joe Dirt
"Did she ever track 'em down, and if she did, well, why couldn't she have called you?"
Joe Dirt
"Well, well, well, the famous Brandy, Tokyo Rose of the trailer park."
Joe Dirt
"Hey, Brandy, I'm sittin' here with a friend of yours,"
Joe Dirt
"a little white-trash treasure that you might know by the name of Joe Dirt."
Joe Dirt
"- Ring a bell? - Joe?"
Joe Dirt
"And you know why? 'Cause over the last few days,"
Joe Dirt
"You know what? When he first started this story, I thought of you as a good person."
Joe Dirt
"But the more it rolled on down the road,"
Joe Dirt
"I'm not sure you are a good person, Brandy."
Joe Dirt
"Why didn't you tell him you'd found his parents?"
Joe Dirt
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