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Clips from Joe Dirt

"And I feel like I know where you live. I've got you in my crosshairs now."
Joe Dirt
"We're gonna go back to your story, pick it up."
Joe Dirt
"Somewhere in Indiana I hit a little snag."
Joe Dirt
"I guess this is the place. Buffalo Bob's kind of a weird name."
Joe Dirt
"- Excuse me, sir. - Hey, there, young fella."
Joe Dirt
"Hey. I'm lookin' for a guy named Buffalo Bob."
Joe Dirt
"Well, I wanted to talk to you about the time you went to the Grand Canyon."
Joe Dirt
"Sure. Why don't you come on inside?"
Joe Dirt
"Joe Dirt."
Joe Dirt
"It puts the lotion on!"
Joe Dirt
"You have no idea what kind of hell I can bring you!"
Joe Dirt
"All right!"
Joe Dirt
"Enough, you broken record! Okay! I've been down here for two weeks, man."
Joe Dirt
"What do you want?"
Joe Dirt
"It puts the lotion on its skin, now!"
Joe Dirt
"I need a towel now."
Joe Dirt
"It does what it's told!"
Joe Dirt
"There. Look. I'm puttin' the lotion on the skin."
Joe Dirt
"I'm rubbin' it in."
Joe Dirt
"Hey, to tell you the truth, brother, between you and me,"
Joe Dirt
"that thing with the dog is comin' off a little fruity."
Joe Dirt
"That's just me talkin'. I don't..."
Joe Dirt
"Yeah. Come on, man. I thought we had a deal."
Joe Dirt
"Check this out. A '71 'Cuda,"
Joe Dirt
"plum crazy purple."
Joe Dirt
"What?"
Joe Dirt
"I'd give him 7,500. I used to have one of these. This guy's crazy."
Joe Dirt
"- Down here. - Stay on your back!"
Joe Dirt
"I hear people."
Joe Dirt
"Hey, it puts the Joe Dirt in the hole."
Joe Dirt
"like a Joe Dirt trench coat."
Joe Dirt
"Yeah, he's been takin' hundreds of photos over the years,"
Joe Dirt
"lookin' for skin that he liked."
Joe Dirt
"tucked under, kind of like a woman."
Joe Dirt
"No way. And that's my... My dad and my mom."
Joe Dirt
"And it's got Louisiana plates."
Joe Dirt
"Hell, yeah, I'm going to Louisiana, brother!"
Joe Dirt
"So, I cruised down south to New Orleans and found a base of operations"
Joe Dirt
"for my search at a local grade school."
Joe Dirt
"I was gonna be a janitor."
Joe Dirt
"Mostly mopping."
Joe Dirt
"Once in a while you got a problem with the boiler."
Joe Dirt
"This'll be a good base for me here in Louisiana while I look for my parents."
Joe Dirt
"I heard some things. It's not good. He's a bad guy."
Joe Dirt
"What... What exactly did you hear?"
Joe Dirt
"- New York or somethin'. - No. I'm from here."
Joe Dirt
"Over in Kansas."
Joe Dirt
"- Is this your wife? - Ex-wife."
Joe Dirt
"She was shot six times."
Joe Dirt
"She was somethin'."
Joe Dirt
"Her eyes were somethin'. Azure, you know."
Joe Dirt
"Clem, a kid puked in the cafeteria again."
Joe Dirt
"We need a cleanup right away."
Joe Dirt
"That's you."
Joe Dirt
"Hey, I'm Joe. Where's the throw-up?"
Joe Dirt
"Over there in the middle of the lunch room."
Joe Dirt
"Hey, I'll get that cleaned up lickety-split."
Joe Dirt
"I'm kiddin'. But seriously, let's hook up."
Joe Dirt
"I'm new in town, kinda lonely, lookin' for my parents."
Joe Dirt
"Yeah. Well, the puke pile's right over there."
Joe Dirt
"It's a pretty big pile of puke."
Joe Dirt
"So, clean the puke. Okay."
Joe Dirt
"Corn off the cob."
Joe Dirt
"This kid should get his money back."
Joe Dirt
"- Look! The janitor's gonna eat the puke! - They're hilarious, huh?"
Joe Dirt
"and it looks like there's some meat in there."
Joe Dirt
"They seem to like me."
Joe Dirt
"If my calculations are correct, this will create ice."
Joe Dirt
"What'd you say?"
Joe Dirt
"You do it again, I'll stab you in the face with a soldering iron."
Joe Dirt
"Is that right?"
Joe Dirt
"You'd think those stupid punks could come up with somethin' funnier than"
Joe Dirt
"He saved us from the mustard gas."
Joe Dirt
"Not me! That's the guy!"
Joe Dirt
"No, you're the one that carried us out."
Joe Dirt
"Shut up, you hard-on."
Joe Dirt
"That's the guy! That's the hero!"
Joe Dirt
"- No, man, It wasn't me. - That's Joe Dirt!"
Joe Dirt
"Probably feels pretty good,"
Joe Dirt
"I don't know why you ask about that guy. Nothin' happened."
Joe Dirt
"That's not what I heard."
Joe Dirt
"What's the deal with your haircut, Joe?"
Joe Dirt
"It's a wig. I was born without the top of my skull."
Joe Dirt
"Everybody, I'm lookin' for my parents."
Joe Dirt
"Here's a picture of them. It's taken"
Joe Dirt
"If anybody has any information on the whereabouts of 'em,"
Joe Dirt
"please call this number, okay."
Joe Dirt
"You might get a machine."
Joe Dirt
"But if a girl answers, her name's Brandy. Give her your info."
Joe Dirt
"I appreciate any help I can get."
Joe Dirt
"I ain't the guy that saved them kids."
Joe Dirt
"Oh, my God."
Joe Dirt
"His name's Clem Doore, and he's from Josette, Louisiana."
Joe Dirt
"Let's go. Come on, come on. Move it, move it."
Joe Dirt
"Okay, this is where that rat bastard lives."
Joe Dirt
"You two shoot him low, you shoot him high."
Joe Dirt
"- What happened here? - Don't I know you from somewhere?"
Joe Dirt
"I don't know. What's goin' on?"
Joe Dirt
"Buffalo Bob, right?"
Joe Dirt
"- Yeah. It was really no big deal. - No big deal?"
Joe Dirt
"- That's not what I heard. - Is Clem all right?"
Joe Dirt
"He's dead? Man, what happened?"
Joe Dirt
"Your buddy Clem's real name was Anthony Benedetti."
Joe Dirt
"He was the former boss of the Cammalleri crime family."
Joe Dirt
"- What? - He turned informer"
Joe Dirt
"when the Syndicate executed his wife."
Joe Dirt
"His old cronies must've somehow found he was down here"
Joe Dirt
"He killed all them, too."
Joe Dirt
"It's a big mess."
Joe Dirt
"Oh, my God, man. This is my fault."
Joe Dirt
"Hey, hey, hey!"
Joe Dirt
"All right, go ahead."
Joe Dirt
"Clem, I didn't know you didn't wanna be on TV."
Joe Dirt
"I was just tryin' to get the word out about my parents, man. I'm so sorry."
Joe Dirt
"Them big doe eyes."
Joe Dirt
"Huge pert rack."
Joe Dirt
"Long legs goin' up to that tight butt."
Joe Dirt
"Clem, you asshole. Are you alive?"
Joe Dirt
"I never would have said your name on TV, man."
Joe Dirt
"People would remember selling a car like that."
Joe Dirt
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