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Clips from Joe Dirt

"Well, it ain't a meteor."
Joe Dirt
"Yeah, it is. It came out of the sky."
Joe Dirt
"- What? - Yeah."
Joe Dirt
"and the stuff freezes and falls to earth."
Joe Dirt
"We call 'em Boeing bombs."
Joe Dirt
"Afraid so."
Joe Dirt
"Yeah, that's... That's a space peanut."
Joe Dirt
"Well, afraid not."
Joe Dirt
"Dude, you were eating off it."
Joe Dirt
"You're telling me you'd rather have a dog"
Joe Dirt
"See, it wasn't really my dog. It was this girl's dog."
Joe Dirt
"No. Are your nuts frozen to the porch?"
Joe Dirt
"That sucks."
Joe Dirt
"Don't pull up."
Joe Dirt
"I think he got..."
Joe Dirt
"- Nuts frozen to the porch? - Yes, exactly."
Joe Dirt
"- so do you have something inside? - Yeah."
Joe Dirt
"It's okay, don't move."
Joe Dirt
"No. That's... That's wrong."
Joe Dirt
"That's way wrong. Do you got, like, warm water and..."
Joe Dirt
"- A fork! - Yeah. No. What?"
Joe Dirt
"I got it. Now what?"
Joe Dirt
"Now, this ain't no flapjack. Gotta go real easy."
Joe Dirt
"And I'm gonna go... I don't wanna look. I'm sorry."
Joe Dirt
"One, two, three, go."
Joe Dirt
"There. Hey, buddy, you're free."
Joe Dirt
"- Dang. - Good boy!"
Joe Dirt
"Good job!"
Joe Dirt
"You might want to spray this whole porch down with PAM,"
Joe Dirt
"you know, so it doesn't happen again."
Joe Dirt
"- Charlie. - Charlie."
Joe Dirt
"- Nice to meet you. - Nice to meet you, too."
Joe Dirt
"Brandy, get your ass in the kitchen and fire up that stove."
Joe Dirt
"Can we have my new friend Joe over for supper?"
Joe Dirt
"We ain't runnin' no soup kitchen here, boy."
Joe Dirt
"Scat! Get out of here!"
Joe Dirt
"For some reason, and I have no idea why,"
Joe Dirt
"And that was the closest thing I ever had to a home."
Joe Dirt
"- Nah, I'm cool. - No, you're not."
Joe Dirt
"Where's Brandy?"
Joe Dirt
"How does she put up with you, Dirt?"
Joe Dirt
"You know, sometimes it's like she likes me or something."
Joe Dirt
"Yeah, dream on, Dirtboy."
Joe Dirt
"A girl like that's way out of your league. She wants my body."
Joe Dirt
"No, I know, man. That's all... That's for you."
Joe Dirt
"I'm... I'm not... We're just totally friends. She's out of my league."
Joe Dirt
"Don't ever forget it, Dirt."
Joe Dirt
"This is a good month. Dang."
Joe Dirt
"This guy's got a dash mat for a '69 Nova he wants to sell,"
Joe Dirt
"and a car cover for any Dodge from '79 to '84."
Joe Dirt
"Man, you don't even have a car."
Joe Dirt
"They're usually 80 bucks at Checker, and this guy wants 40, man."
Joe Dirt
"Hey, look at this. Charlie, see that?"
Joe Dirt
"This guy's selling a Hurst speed shifter with a pool-ball grip."
Joe Dirt
"I'll be chirping gears and pulling brodies, going..."
Joe Dirt
""What's up, baby?""
Joe Dirt
"'cause I swear I'm gonna..."
Joe Dirt
"- Dang. - Dang."
Joe Dirt
"- I am always nice to you, Joe Dirt. - Hey, Brandy."
Joe Dirt
"Come on, Joe."
Joe Dirt
"Come on, boy!"
Joe Dirt
"Oh, God. She is so fine."
Joe Dirt
"There you are."
Joe Dirt
"Gimme that mutt. I'm takin' him huntin' with me."
Joe Dirt
"Hey, if you're taking the dog, I'll go with him."
Joe Dirt
"- 'Cause I've been hunting before. - You, hunt?"
Joe Dirt
"That was a good one. All right, Charlie, get in the car."
Joe Dirt
"Get in the damn car, you flea-bitten,"
Joe Dirt
"butt-lickin', flea-lickin'"
Joe Dirt
"son of a bitch."
Joe Dirt
"Two!"
Joe Dirt
"Yeah!"
Joe Dirt
"Charlie. Charlie, come here. Come here, Charlie."
Joe Dirt
"My foot's stuck, see? See, my foot's stuck?"
Joe Dirt
"I need you to go find Sheriff Williams."
Joe Dirt
"Run!"
Joe Dirt
"Your dad always hunt this long?"
Joe Dirt
"- Hey, there's Charlie. - Charlie!"
Joe Dirt
"Where have you been?"
Joe Dirt
"There you go, Don. Take 'er easy."
Joe Dirt
"- Oh, my God! - There's that worthless mutt!"
Joe Dirt
"- And I'm puttin' him down. - No, you can't!"
Joe Dirt
"No!"
Joe Dirt
"Joe, he's okay now. He's in dog heaven."
Joe Dirt
"You gave him a great last couple years."
Joe Dirt
"He would've liked that."
Joe Dirt
"I can't do it."
Joe Dirt
"Brandy, you see that moon?"
Joe Dirt
"Brandy, I got a hole in my heart. I don't know how to fix it."
Joe Dirt
"I got to find out what happened that day at the Grand Canyon."
Joe Dirt
"I don't care how long it takes. I gotta do it."
Joe Dirt
"Brandy, what's that got to do with me? We're always gonna be buddies, right?"
Joe Dirt
"Well, if I get married,"
Joe Dirt
"we might move, and you might not know where to find me."
Joe Dirt
"God, that Brandy has a nice ass, doesn't she?"
Joe Dirt
"on my own again, looking for my parents, but I don't know their last names."
Joe Dirt
"It's Dirt. Isn't that the name on the family crest? Dirt."
Joe Dirt
"No, see, my last name's Dirt."
Joe Dirt
"My dad made my last name Dirt for some reason."
Joe Dirt
"Anyway, I just put an "e" on it, pronounce it "Deer-tay.""
Joe Dirt
"And I remember my sister yelling it in my face when I was growing up."
Joe Dirt
"That's why Dad named you Joe Dirt!"
Joe Dirt
"That's why Dad named you Joe Dirt!"
Joe Dirt
"I couldn't remember my real last name."
Joe Dirt
"So, I knew it was gonna be hard to find 'em."
Joe Dirt
"- Right, so what'd you do? - Right, so then I needed some money."
Joe Dirt
"Molar World. Walk-ins welcome. There you go."
Joe Dirt
"Molar World. One for the kid? Sure."
Joe Dirt
"Molar..."
Joe Dirt
"What's up?"
Joe Dirt
"Oh, my God."
Joe Dirt
"Competition orange, '67."
Joe Dirt
"This thing's a Hemi."
Joe Dirt
"Ma'am, are you selling this car?"
Joe Dirt
"Yeah. It literally just went on to the market."
Joe Dirt
"- What do you got? - Practically nothing."
Joe Dirt
"Well, you know, my ex-husband, before he died..."
Joe Dirt
"He used to beat me, so one night I just pushed him into the wood chipper."
Joe Dirt
"- Good for you. - But he used to be a police sketch artist."
Joe Dirt
"The victims would give him the worst descriptions,"
Joe Dirt
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