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Clips from Chappelle's Show - Episode #2.5 (S02E02)

"One love."
Chappelle's Show
"Uh, yeah... I love you, too."
Chappelle's Show
"(man) So, what am i charged with?"
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"Yeah, like you don't know, you little bitch."
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"I'm allergic."
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"Oh, well, hey, I'm sorry, Chuck."
Chappelle's Show
"Why don't I do you a favor and put it out there for ya, huh?"
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"How do you like that, you piece of crap!"
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"(whimpers)"
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"I wanna talk to my lawyer!"
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"He wants to talk to his lawyer..."
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"legal aid, you're on."
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"Sorry, you're like, my 14th case this week."
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"Somebody take a piss in here?"
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"It was me!"
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"I peed..."
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"(playing harmonica)"
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"(still playing harmonica)"
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"I would like to complement you, gentlemen"
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"on a very classy baller-ass spread"
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"with cheeses that I've never even seen before."
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"And my apologies for being late"
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"but I got caught up with some poonany."
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"Well, so, it's like I said,"
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"we don't wanna make a big deal out of this thing."
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"You're a cocaine dealer"
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"but you've done a lot of good for the community."
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"Oh, I know, man, on Thanksgiving"
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"I be passing turkeys out like "Nino Brown," baby."
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"But, seriously, we have to do something."
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"How about you testify before a senate committee"
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"and spend... two months at Club Fed?"
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"When I get out,"
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"can I still traffic rocks to the community?"
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"Absolutely not!"
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"You're right, selling rocks would be wrong."
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"Heh, heh, heh... jail's the shit!"
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"Anyway, he points the gun at us"
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"and he tells his dog to sick us."
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"and we were able to subdue Mr. Jeffries."
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"Upon further search of the mansion,"
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"we were able to locate this..."
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"pure Colombian heroin."
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"Yeah, wait a minute, your honor..."
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"I don't know who's heroin that is"
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"but it certainly isn't mine!"
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"Then his wife threw her titties in my hand."
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"It was weird, your honor."
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"Before I sentence you,"
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"is there anything you'd like to say?"
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"Okay, first of all..."
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"all right, that's enough."
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"You're the worst kind of scum on the face of the Earth!"
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"A filthy, big-lipped beast!"
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"Their minutes is a new court record."
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"All your possessions will be seized immediately by the court"
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"and you will receive the mandatory minimum"
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"of life in prison."
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"Plenty of time to lift weights and convert to Islam."
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"Now get out of my sight, you fuck."
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"Sir, is it true you were a crack/cocaine dealer"
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"for seven years?"
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"Uh, I plead the fifth."
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"Sir, will you tell us about the cartels you dealt with"
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"Um, no, but I can tell you that I plead the fizzith."
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"Exactly how much money did you earn"
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"in your time as a crack/cocaine dealer?"
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"There..."
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"are..."
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"I said there are"
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"in the Constitution of the United States of America"
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"I can only choose one"
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"I can only choose..."
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"one!"
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"I plead the fifth"
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"I plead the fifth"
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"five!"
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"One, two, three, four... fifth!"
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"Anything you say... fifth!"
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"Go ahead, ask me a question"
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"fifth!"
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"I have a secret document that I think you need to see..."
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"fifth..."
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"I got your sentence reduced to a month, buddy."
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"Oh!"
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"Chappelle's Show."
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"Better not bring your kids!"
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"Hello, my name's Tyrone Biggums."
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"Sometimes, the endless pursuit of crack"
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"leaves me tired and depleted."
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"But now cocaine comes in a delicious shake!"
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""Red Balls!""
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"It gives me wings!"
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"Ahhh..."
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"mmm... hummina, hummina, hummina, hummina!"
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"My baby!"
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"I left my baby in the car!"
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"Oh, my God!"
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"(bionic effect)"
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"(bionic effect)"
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"FYI, people still do steal radios, hon."
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"How do you think I got this suit?"
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"Ahhh!"
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"(beeping)"
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"(bionic effect)"
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"Mayday, mayday..."
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"we have a crackhead lifting up the bus,"
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"I love this drink!"
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"Thank you, Red Balls."
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"Excuse me, jailer... pardon me."
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"Might I have a Red Balls, please?"
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"Shazam!"
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"Ahhhhh...!"
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"(bionic effect)"
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"Red Balls... cocaine in a can, baby!"
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"I can get some money for this."
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"(cheers & applause)"
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"Y'all remember last season,"
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"we used to do a segment called "Ask A Black Dude""
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"as America's leading black psychic, Negrodamus."
Chappelle's Show
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