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Clips from The Ben Stiller Show (1992) - On Melrose Avenue (S01E01)

"Hold it in the name of Ramses!"
The Ben Stiller Show (1992)
"- Why you running? - We worship the golden calf."
The Ben Stiller Show (1992)
"Not your buddy parting the water back there? Where'd you get the calf?"
The Ben Stiller Show (1992)
"- Found it. - Made it."
The Ben Stiller Show (1992)
"Which is it?"
The Ben Stiller Show (1992)
"We found the materials and made it with... What we found."
The Ben Stiller Show (1992)
"I'm too old for this s * *t. Get up the hill."
The Ben Stiller Show (1992)
"- Don't beat Sarah! - Get up the hill!"
The Ben Stiller Show (1992)
"You've got to understand where I'm coming from."
The Ben Stiller Show (1992)
"I gotta chase you around all day. You think I like that?"
The Ben Stiller Show (1992)
"I'm warning you. Do not anger the Lord, our God."
The Ben Stiller Show (1992)
"Let me tell you something. Your pal here says..."
The Ben Stiller Show (1992)
"...you've been drinking while prophesizing. That's a felony, my friend."
The Ben Stiller Show (1992)
"- That's right, Popeye. - You have been warned!"
The Ben Stiller Show (1992)
"So have you. I'm taking you in. Let's go build some pyramids, buddy."
The Ben Stiller Show (1992)
"What the...? Holy mother of..."
The Ben Stiller Show (1992)
"Who will be next to feel the Lord's wrath?"
The Ben Stiller Show (1992)
"This guy, he's obviously hopped up on something..."
The Ben Stiller Show (1992)
"...so I'm gonna go messenger for backup."
The Ben Stiller Show (1992)
"We'll get him locked up, but in 48 hours, he'll be out here doing the same thing."
The Ben Stiller Show (1992)
"That was my partner, so..."
The Ben Stiller Show (1992)
"But, you know, it's part of the business."
The Ben Stiller Show (1992)
"I'm getting the f* *k out of here."
The Ben Stiller Show (1992)
"Welcome back. We're hanging out here on Melrose with my friend Bob Odenkirk."
The Ben Stiller Show (1992)
"- Hi. This is a cool place. Very hip. - Yeah, definitely hip."
The Ben Stiller Show (1992)
"Most of the people who walk down the street are probably fans of your show."
The Ben Stiller Show (1992)
"Seriously, because the show is hip too. And cool."
The Ben Stiller Show (1992)
"This would be a good chance to talk to your audience..."
The Ben Stiller Show (1992)
"...and find out what they like and don't like about the show..."
The Ben Stiller Show (1992)
"...and detail it to their wishes. - Yeah, maybe sometime..."
The Ben Stiller Show (1992)
"- Hi. I'm Bob Odenkirk. Hi. - Hi."
The Ben Stiller Show (1992)
"This gentleman would like to ask you a question."
The Ben Stiller Show (1992)
"- Who? - What is that?"
The Ben Stiller Show (1992)
"- It's a comedy show on Fox. - Ben who?"
The Ben Stiller Show (1992)
"Forget it. Not a good idea. Let's just watch another Fox show, okay?"
The Ben Stiller Show (1992)
"- They obviously haven't seen our show. - Ask them about books they read."
The Ben Stiller Show (1992)
"Come on, I just want to talk to some women."
The Ben Stiller Show (1992)
"Exactly. You just want... Go ahead. You don't need me for that."
The Ben Stiller Show (1992)
"- All the time. - Really?"
The Ben Stiller Show (1992)
"And now, Ben Stiller's Music News with Tabitha Soren."
The Ben Stiller Show (1992)
"This is a special music video update."
The Ben Stiller Show (1992)
"The censorship battle over rap star Ice Man McGee's latest release is heating up."
The Ben Stiller Show (1992)
"A Los Angeles man by the name of Doug Szathkey..."
The Ben Stiller Show (1992)
"...is protesting Ice Man's new hit single, "Kill Doug Szathkey.""
The Ben Stiller Show (1992)
"Mr. Szathkey, who happens to be Ice Man's neighbor..."
The Ben Stiller Show (1992)
"...claims the lyrics are disturbing and potentially dangerous..."
The Ben Stiller Show (1992)
"...and called for a nationwide boycott of the album."
The Ben Stiller Show (1992)
"We have received a special advance copy of the video."
The Ben Stiller Show (1992)
"You decide."
The Ben Stiller Show (1992)
"Mr. Szathkey granted us an exclusive interview at his home in Los Angeles."
The Ben Stiller Show (1992)
"I mean, I know he has the right to say anything..."
The Ben Stiller Show (1992)
"...but I'm gonna get killed here."
The Ben Stiller Show (1992)
"Oh, no!"
The Ben Stiller Show (1992)
"Ice Man McGee held a press conference to respond to the charges."
The Ben Stiller Show (1992)
"It's like I'm saying. It's just censorship, straight up."
The Ben Stiller Show (1992)
"...I was using street terminology to describe a situation from my life."
The Ben Stiller Show (1992)
"...and you dis the United States Constitution. And that's the real crime."
The Ben Stiller Show (1992)
"The record company has agreed to release the album..."
The Ben Stiller Show (1992)
"...with the following warning label:"
The Ben Stiller Show (1992)
""Warning: Manufacturer does not condone the killing, or in any way harming..."
The Ben Stiller Show (1992)
"...of Doug Szathkey, but instead wishes Doug a long, healthy and fulfilling life.""
The Ben Stiller Show (1992)
"This has been a music video update brought to you by:"
The Ben Stiller Show (1992)
"Yummy Gummy Auto Parts, the auto-part-shaped chewy candy..."
The Ben Stiller Show (1992)
"- You ready to order? - Yeah. Andy?"
The Ben Stiller Show (1992)
"You know what sounds good is the Tyne Daly veggie kabob."
The Ben Stiller Show (1992)
"- Good. Janeane? - I'll have the Adam West Cajun bites."
The Ben Stiller Show (1992)
"I'm going to have the Gary Coleman gazpacho."
The Ben Stiller Show (1992)
"I'm not hungry. I'm just gonna have more Ice-T ice tea."
The Ben Stiller Show (1992)
"- That's good, that's good. - Great."
The Ben Stiller Show (1992)
"Good meal coming up. We'll be right back."
The Ben Stiller Show (1992)
"- Yeah. - Know what I mean?"
The Ben Stiller Show (1992)
"- Creeps me out. These people are freaks. - They want us to be hip."
The Ben Stiller Show (1992)
"They have brass rings in places where you should not poke holes."
The Ben Stiller Show (1992)
"- Well, Andy... - I'm always watching my back."
The Ben Stiller Show (1992)
"It's very, very scary. People are walking like this:"
The Ben Stiller Show (1992)
"- You know, like robots. - Calm down, all right?"
The Ben Stiller Show (1992)
"- Let's walk faster. - Okay."
The Ben Stiller Show (1992)
"You're looking at late-night shock jock Damien Faustman..."
The Ben Stiller Show (1992)
"... a man who hates his listeners almost as much as he hates himself."
The Ben Stiller Show (1992)
"Tonight he'll learn that it doesn't take a lot of expensive special effects..."
The Ben Stiller Show (1992)
"His soul."
The Ben Stiller Show (1992)
"He's taking your calls and he's mad as hell."
The Ben Stiller Show (1992)
"It's 2:15, and I'm Damien Faustman."
The Ben Stiller Show (1992)
"What are you doing awake? I hate you all."
The Ben Stiller Show (1992)
"- Line two. - What's your problem, Faustman?"
The Ben Stiller Show (1992)
"- Line three. - Damien, I'm 16..."
The Ben Stiller Show (1992)
"... and I'm feeling really depressed and confused..."
The Ben Stiller Show (1992)
"Okay, we'll be back with more of your miserable calls right after this."
The Ben Stiller Show (1992)
"I gotta quit these things."
The Ben Stiller Show (1992)
"Faustman! It's time."
The Ben Stiller Show (1992)
"Who said that?"
The Ben Stiller Show (1992)
"Crazy kids."
The Ben Stiller Show (1992)
"All right, we're back, and you're still calling. How pathetic."
The Ben Stiller Show (1992)
"- Line six. - How hot do you think it is in hell?"
The Ben Stiller Show (1992)
"I don't know. Why don't you ask your mother? Line four."
The Ben Stiller Show (1992)
"You leave my mother out of this!"
The Ben Stiller Show (1992)
"You're all alone now, Damien. Feeling warm?"
The Ben Stiller Show (1992)
"666, what a coincidence. Time is running out."
The Ben Stiller Show (1992)
"Look at your friend now. Do I have to come right out and say it?"
The Ben Stiller Show (1992)
"Those crazy kids!"
The Ben Stiller Show (1992)
"- Line one. - Damien, this is Angelica."
The Ben Stiller Show (1992)
"Didn't you get it when I broke up with you? I hate you!"
The Ben Stiller Show (1992)
"Almost as much as you hate yourself?"
The Ben Stiller Show (1992)
"Oh, Damien, I love you. Let's go away."
The Ben Stiller Show (1992)
"Like when we went to that cabin in the mountains."
The Ben Stiller Show (1992)
"Crank call."
The Ben Stiller Show (1992)
"- Line two. - Good one, Faustman."
The Ben Stiller Show (1992)
"Why don't you just show yourself, face to face?"
The Ben Stiller Show (1992)
"Yes, well, I'd love to. But I think it'll be a lot scarier for you..."
The Ben Stiller Show (1992)
"- Line one! - Have a little sympathy for me!"
The Ben Stiller Show (1992)
"I will not go with you to hell!"
The Ben Stiller Show (1992)
"Go with me?"
The Ben Stiller Show (1992)
"News flash: You're already in hell!"
The Ben Stiller Show (1992)
"Yeah. Yeah, I guess. I mean..."
The Ben Stiller Show (1992)
"... for over an hour now. This is it. Your own personal hell."
The Ben Stiller Show (1992)
"I work with what I got. I mean, look at the clock. It's got blood on it."
The Ben Stiller Show (1992)
"Yeah, right. Sure. I bet."
The Ben Stiller Show (1992)
"There should be something more... Insects should eat me or something."
The Ben Stiller Show (1992)
"I feel this is..."
The Ben Stiller Show (1992)
"I'm not even hot, you know?"
The Ben Stiller Show (1992)
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