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Clips from The Ben Stiller Show (1992) - On Melrose Avenue (S01E01)

"... that terror doesn't have to have a high price tag."
The Ben Stiller Show (1992)
"I think we've beat that one into the ground. This is just..."
The Ben Stiller Show (1992)
"Anybody got an iced tea or something? I mean... This is not really..."
The Ben Stiller Show (1992)
"This didn't work out too well."
The Ben Stiller Show (1992)
"...and I'd like to appeal to the Melrose kids."
The Ben Stiller Show (1992)
"Don't just work out these. You gotta work this muscle out too."
The Ben Stiller Show (1992)
"Read a book every once in a while. Might give you information you might need."
The Ben Stiller Show (1992)
"You did well in school? You were a good student?"
The Ben Stiller Show (1992)
"- Me neither. I just never... - Never cracked a book."
The Ben Stiller Show (1992)
"Yeah, that's me. I never cracked a book. That's why I'm doing this."
The Ben Stiller Show (1992)
"Where am I?"
The Ben Stiller Show (1992)
"Why, in the house of General George Washington."
The Ben Stiller Show (1992)
"But who are you? And where do you come from?"
The Ben Stiller Show (1992)
"His old time machine really works!"
The Ben Stiller Show (1992)
"Coming this fall: Meet a new kind of time traveler."
The Ben Stiller Show (1992)
"If you have indeed traversed time, you'll know every strategy and battle..."
The Ben Stiller Show (1992)
"...of the conflict to come. The revolution is won!"
The Ben Stiller Show (1992)
"- Yeah, but I wasn't a freak about it. - Well, that's great. That's just great."
The Ben Stiller Show (1992)
"With nothing but a B-minus average from an American public school..."
The Ben Stiller Show (1992)
"... she plunges through space and time, helping whomever she can..."
The Ben Stiller Show (1992)
"... with her vague, sketchy knowledge of American history."
The Ben Stiller Show (1992)
"Come on, Stacey, shake those cobwebs loose!"
The Ben Stiller Show (1992)
"July 7, 1941, a day that will live in infamy."
The Ben Stiller Show (1992)
"September 12, 1941, a day that will live in..."
The Ben Stiller Show (1992)
"How could you forget the date Pearl Harbor was bombed?"
The Ben Stiller Show (1992)
"...because we had this system rigged..."
The Ben Stiller Show (1992)
"...where you would write it on your arm."
The Ben Stiller Show (1992)
"She was always the one who asked, "Why do we need to know this stuff?""
The Ben Stiller Show (1992)
"Well, now she has her answer."
The Ben Stiller Show (1992)
"Look, Mr. Columbus, one of your ships gets lost."
The Ben Stiller Show (1992)
"Either the Nina or the Pinta."
The Ben Stiller Show (1992)
"I should not have cut Spanish."
The Ben Stiller Show (1992)
"Crash-o ship-o bye-bye!"
The Ben Stiller Show (1992)
"It's an endless pop quiz. And now she wishes she'd done the reading."
The Ben Stiller Show (1992)
"Possibly retreating. I don't remember."
The Ben Stiller Show (1992)
"Oh, well, that's a great attitude. That really helps me a lot."
The Ben Stiller Show (1992)
"Look, I know you got to bring more shoes."
The Ben Stiller Show (1992)
"Enough about the shoes. Everything is shoes and teeth with you!"
The Ben Stiller Show (1992)
"...I was trying to get my driver's permit..."
The Ben Stiller Show (1992)
"...cramming for those stupid SATs... I had a million things on my mind."
The Ben Stiller Show (1992)
"For heaven's sake, keep trying. If you can't remember that date..."
The Ben Stiller Show (1992)
"...this could be the greatest disaster since..."
The Ben Stiller Show (1992)
"...Washington capsized in the Delaware with all those shoes."
The Ben Stiller Show (1992)
"B- minus Time Traveler."
The Ben Stiller Show (1992)
"She never thought she'd be tested on this."
The Ben Stiller Show (1992)
"Arrivederci Records is proud to present..."
The Ben Stiller Show (1992)
"... the debut of Mr. Tito Gallegos, the pig Latin lover."
The Ben Stiller Show (1992)
"... and find out what the rest of the world already knows:"
The Ben Stiller Show (1992)
"Nobody sings songs of love in pig Latin the way Tito Gallegos does."
The Ben Stiller Show (1992)
"... but for a limited time. Feel the fire, feel the passion..."
The Ben Stiller Show (1992)
"All-cay ow-nay. All ajor-may edit-cray ards-cay accepted!"
The Ben Stiller Show (1992)
"Well, that's about it. We're out of time."
The Ben Stiller Show (1992)
"- Andy, what are you doing? - I love it here. This place is great."
The Ben Stiller Show (1992)
"- It's Melrose. - I can't believe you."
The Ben Stiller Show (1992)
"I thought you were afraid of getting things pierced."
The Ben Stiller Show (1992)
"Get off it, Ben. These are just people. Hey, my ride's leaving. I gotta get going."
The Ben Stiller Show (1992)
"- Hey, hang on, girls. - Wait a minute. Andy!"
The Ben Stiller Show (1992)
"No..."
The Ben Stiller Show (1992)
"Wait. Andy? Andy, I was joking!"
The Ben Stiller Show (1992)
"I'm sorry."
The Ben Stiller Show (1992)
"I've got Martha on my back."
The Ben Stiller Show (1992)
"That's something you don't want to deal with."
The Ben Stiller Show (1992)
"Cut."
The Ben Stiller Show (1992)
"Yeah. Watch TV."
The Ben Stiller Show (1992)
"...attempting to defy the laws of nature in some way."
The Ben Stiller Show (1992)
"Yes or no? You're trying to part the sea. We saw you."
The Ben Stiller Show (1992)
"I would like to make it clear that when I said, "Kill Doug Szathkey"..."
The Ben Stiller Show (1992)
"It's really good sparkling water."
The Ben Stiller Show (1992)
"It's 2: 15 a.m., Tri-City area, and it's time for the man you love to hate."
The Ben Stiller Show (1992)
"Almost as much as I hate myself."
The Ben Stiller Show (1992)
"What did you do, sell your soul to the devil or something?"
The Ben Stiller Show (1992)
"Things can be good again. You've got to believe that they can."
The Ben Stiller Show (1992)
"Get it? Pleased to meet you, won't you guess my name?"
The Ben Stiller Show (1992)
"What do you mean, "Yeah, I guess"? I've been dropping hints at you..."
The Ben Stiller Show (1992)
"Look. We are in a recession. I am on a budget."
The Ben Stiller Show (1992)
"Damien Faustman, a man who has just learned..."
The Ben Stiller Show (1992)
"Self. I know. I hate myself. I mean, come on."
The Ben Stiller Show (1992)
"...and you have wooden teeth."
The Ben Stiller Show (1992)
"Sorry!"
The Ben Stiller Show (1992)
"Am I attacking? Am I retreating? Just give me something here."
The Ben Stiller Show (1992)
"- Stop yelling at me. - Well, if you're the future, I quit."
The Ben Stiller Show (1992)
"[ENGLISH]"
The Ben Stiller Show (1992)
"I'm blind, you idiot!"
The Ben Stiller Show (1992)
"Oh, God! He's got a gun! Oh, God!"
The Ben Stiller Show (1992)
"Listen as Tito brings Broadway into your home."
The Ben Stiller Show (1992)
"This rare collection is available only through this TV offer..."
The Ben Stiller Show (1992)
"Get up the hill!"
The Ben Stiller Show (1992)
"So Doris comes up with a crazy scheme to cheer Skank up."
The Ben Stiller Show (1992)
"Honey, shut your stinking... My eyes!"
The Ben Stiller Show (1992)
"It's out of the frying pan and into the laughter..."
The Ben Stiller Show (1992)
"And Skank starts to lose touch:"
The Ben Stiller Show (1992)
"Here at WDVL."
The Ben Stiller Show (1992)
"- Welcome to hell, Faustman. - That's it?"
The Ben Stiller Show (1992)
"Now, Janeane, you're the perfect Melrose Avenue resident."
The Ben Stiller Show (1992)
"We did the whole Melrose thing this week, but nobody really changed."
The Ben Stiller Show (1992)
"- Yeah. - Where are they going? Do you know...?"
The Ben Stiller Show (1992)
"- Yeah. - What do you like?"
The Ben Stiller Show (1992)
"We're here at one of the hip Melrose Avenue restaurants having a good time..."
The Ben Stiller Show (1992)
"Jeez, it's hot in here. Damn air conditioning."
The Ben Stiller Show (1992)
"I never liked the mountains anyway. Too chilly."
The Ben Stiller Show (1992)
"- Cliffs Notes. - Know what I'm saying?"
The Ben Stiller Show (1992)
"Don't you beat..."
The Ben Stiller Show (1992)
"He must be the chosen one. The Lord speaks through Moses!"
The Ben Stiller Show (1992)
"I don't know..."
The Ben Stiller Show (1992)