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Clips from Taxi - High School Reunion (S01E01)

Hey, Louie.

"Hey, Louie."

Taxi

was these two promises I made to myself.

"was these two promises I made to myself."

Taxi

One was I would get Sheila Martin to like me.

"One was I would get Sheila Martin to like me."

Taxi

I had to make up stories like that.

"I had to make up stories like that."

Taxi

how about being a little bolder?

"how about being a little bolder?"

Taxi

Stanley Tarsus, you remember him?

"Stanley Tarsus, you remember him?"

Taxi

Yeah, I know, but, like, incredible.

"Yeah, I know, but, like, incredible."

Taxi

You can't be me.

"You can't be me."

Taxi

( "A Summer Place" playing )

"( "A Summer Place" playing )"

Taxi

Thanks.

"Thanks."

Taxi

of $70 in change.

"of $70 in change."

Taxi

Really? Mm-hmm.

"Really? Mm-hmm."

Taxi

Don't be hard on us.

"Don't be hard on us."

Taxi

piece of goods you're wearing there,

"piece of goods you're wearing there,"

Taxi

I've always wanted to do that ever since high school.

"I've always wanted to do that ever since high school."

Taxi

I have this terrible habit-- I like to make girls laugh.

"I have this terrible habit-- I like to make girls laugh."

Taxi

Kitchy-kitchy... ( screams )

"Kitchy-kitchy... ( screams )"

Taxi

There, I did it again.

"There, I did it again."

Taxi

No, look, I really want to take you out.

"No, look, I really want to take you out."

Taxi

What night are you free?

"What night are you free?"

Taxi

I'm sorry, Alex. I can't.

"I'm sorry, Alex. I can't."

Taxi

Why not? Because I make it a rule

"Why not? Because I make it a rule"

Taxi

not to go out with cab drivers.

"not to go out with cab drivers."

Taxi

Well, that's a stupid rule.

"Well, that's a stupid rule."

Taxi

Well, it's very important to me

"Well, it's very important to me"

Taxi

to keep my personal life private, you know?

"to keep my personal life private, you know?"

Taxi

And this is a cabbie's hangout.

"And this is a cabbie's hangout."

Taxi

I mean, if I was a secretary on Wall Street,

"I mean, if I was a secretary on Wall Street,"

Taxi

I wouldn't go out with the stockbrokers.

"I wouldn't go out with the stockbrokers."

Taxi

If I was in a factory,

"If I was in a factory,"

Taxi

I wouldn't go out with factory workers.

"I wouldn't go out with factory workers."

Taxi

If I was a nurse in a hospital,

"If I was a nurse in a hospital,"

Taxi

I wouldn't go out with the sick people.

"I wouldn't go out with the sick people."

Taxi

No. You mean you wouldn't go out with doctors.

"No. You mean you wouldn't go out with doctors."

Taxi

Hey, I have my rules, but I'm not crazy.

"Hey, I have my rules, but I'm not crazy."

Taxi

* Feelings

"* Feelings"

Taxi

* Whoa, whoa, whoa, feelings *

"* Whoa, whoa, whoa, feelings *"

Taxi

* Whoa, whoa, whoa, fee... *

"* Whoa, whoa, whoa, fee... *"

Taxi

Hey, who killed the music?

"Hey, who killed the music?"

Taxi

You did.

"You did."

Taxi

Alex, I need... I need that song.

"Alex, I need... I need that song."

Taxi

I'm real down.

"I'm real down."

Taxi

I need that song real bad.

"I need that song real bad."

Taxi

Louie, I'll give you a buck,

"Louie, I'll give you a buck,"

Taxi

you don't play that song again.

"you don't play that song again."

Taxi

Okay.

"Okay."

Taxi

Aw, you're better off without her.

"Aw, you're better off without her."

Taxi

Uh-uh. Try again.

"Uh-uh. Try again."

Taxi

Can I sit down?

"Can I sit down?"

Taxi

No.

"No."

Taxi

It's been a rough night.

"It's been a rough night."

Taxi

All right, all right.

"All right, all right."

Taxi

As long as

"As long as"

Taxi

you're not obnoxious.

"you're not obnoxious."

Taxi

So what are you losers up to?

"So what are you losers up to?"

Taxi

That was obnoxious?

"That was obnoxious?"

Taxi

Yeah. Yeah.

"Yeah. Yeah."

Taxi

Okay, okay.

"Okay, okay."

Taxi

I apologize.

"I apologize."

Taxi

Whoo! Whoo!

"Whoo! Whoo!"

Taxi

You bet, whoo.

"You bet, whoo."

Taxi

That's the first time I ever apologized.

"That's the first time I ever apologized."

Taxi

But I did it because there's something

"But I did it because there's something"

Taxi

I really have to say.

"I really have to say."

Taxi

What's wrong?

"What's wrong?"

Taxi

I got a letter

"I got a letter"

Taxi

inviting me to my 20th high school reunion

"inviting me to my 20th high school reunion"

Taxi

next Saturday... and I'm not going.

"next Saturday... and I'm not going."

Taxi

So what? I don't go to my high school reunions.

"So what? I don't go to my high school reunions."

Taxi

Who wants to sit around

"Who wants to sit around"

Taxi

and watch a bunch of guys sucking in their stomachs?

"and watch a bunch of guys sucking in their stomachs?"

Taxi

What good would that do?

"What good would that do?"

Taxi

No, you don't understand.

"No, you don't understand."

Taxi

I'd really like to go.

"I'd really like to go."

Taxi

You see, everything was really tough for me in high school.

"You see, everything was really tough for me in high school."

Taxi

Everybody was crummy to me all the time.

"Everybody was crummy to me all the time."

Taxi

The only thing that kept me going

"The only thing that kept me going"

Taxi

And, two, that I'd get even with everybody else.

"And, two, that I'd get even with everybody else."

Taxi

Gee, you really had it that tough in high school?

"Gee, you really had it that tough in high school?"

Taxi

Oh, look, it's nothing personal, but I put in 12 hours today...

"Oh, look, it's nothing personal, but I put in 12 hours today..."

Taxi

Everybody used to pick on me.

"Everybody used to pick on me."

Taxi

I don't mean just as I passed them in the halls.

"I don't mean just as I passed them in the halls."

Taxi

I mean, they used to line up and take turns.

"I mean, they used to line up and take turns."

Taxi

I used to just stand there and wait

"I used to just stand there and wait"

Taxi

for the last guy to take his shot.

"for the last guy to take his shot."

Taxi

Yeah, we get the idea, Louie.

"Yeah, we get the idea, Louie."

Taxi

Yeah, and that's only the top of the iceberg.

"Yeah, and that's only the top of the iceberg."

Taxi

I got stories that will tear your hearts out.

"I got stories that will tear your hearts out."

Taxi

Like what?

"Like what?"

Taxi

Did I offend you in any way, Elaine?

"Did I offend you in any way, Elaine?"

Taxi

No. I just want to hear what happened.

"No. I just want to hear what happened."

Taxi

He's never opened up to us like this before.

"He's never opened up to us like this before."

Taxi

And the world has never come to an end,

"And the world has never come to an end,"

Taxi

but that doesn't mean we root for it to happen.

"but that doesn't mean we root for it to happen."

Taxi

Another beer, please.

"Another beer, please."

Taxi

Make it two.

"Make it two."

Taxi

There was this guy, Stanley Tarsus.

"There was this guy, Stanley Tarsus."

Taxi

He was a really nasty, rotten person.

"He was a really nasty, rotten person."

Taxi

You know the type?

"You know the type?"

Taxi

ALL: Yeah.

"ALL: Yeah."

Taxi

He used to play this one trick on me all the time

"He used to play this one trick on me all the time"

Taxi

just to show that I would fall for it every time he did it.

"just to show that I would fall for it every time he did it."

Taxi

What did he do?

"What did he do?"

Taxi

Alex, you got something

"Alex, you got something"

Taxi

on your shirt.

"on your shirt."

Taxi

That!

"That!"

Taxi

Rotten person-- Stanley Tarsus.

"Rotten person-- Stanley Tarsus."

Taxi

That ain't such a bad story.

"That ain't such a bad story."

Taxi

There was this guy in my high school, Lou Vanelli--

"There was this guy in my high school, Lou Vanelli--"

Taxi

he used to tear your chest hair out

"he used to tear your chest hair out"

Taxi

with his bare hands.

"with his bare hands."

Taxi

Gee, I miss those days.

"Gee, I miss those days."

Taxi

Okay, get ready to sob your spleens out.

"Okay, get ready to sob your spleens out."

Taxi

I went to my high school senior prom alone.

"I went to my high school senior prom alone."

Taxi

The theme was "April love."

"The theme was "April love.""

Taxi

April love?

"April love?"

Taxi

Is for the very young.

"Is for the very young."

Taxi

The only reason

"The only reason"

Taxi

I went to the prom

"I went to the prom"

Taxi

was because, even though she was with another guy,

"was because, even though she was with another guy,"

Taxi

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