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Clips from Taxi - High School Reunion (S01E01)

I just wanted to see what Sheila looked like on prom night.

"I just wanted to see what Sheila looked like on prom night."

Taxi

That's how hooked I was on her.

"That's how hooked I was on her."

Taxi

So I walk in,

"So I walk in,"

Taxi

I say hello to a few people--

"I say hello to a few people--"

Taxi

"Hello, hello, hello."

""Hello, hello, hello.""

Taxi

I tell them my date was delayed.

"I tell them my date was delayed."

Taxi

She couldn't make it

"She couldn't make it"

Taxi

until after her Broadway show's curtain came down.

"until after her Broadway show's curtain came down."

Taxi

ELAINE: Aw, Louie.

"ELAINE: Aw, Louie."

Taxi

If you're trying to make me feel better

"If you're trying to make me feel better"

Taxi

Stop it.

"Stop it."

Taxi

So what happened then?

"So what happened then?"

Taxi

I kept on looking for Sheila

"I kept on looking for Sheila"

Taxi

and this guy comes up to me--

"and this guy comes up to me--"

Taxi

Yeah. The nose guy.

"Yeah. The nose guy."

Taxi

Mm-hmm. Yeah.

"Mm-hmm. Yeah."

Taxi

He comes up to me, and he says,

"He comes up to me, and he says,"

Taxi

"Hey, Louie, how'd you like to sit at a table

""Hey, Louie, how'd you like to sit at a table"

Taxi

with us and Sheila?"

"with us and Sheila?""

Taxi

I smiled at him. I didn't want nothing

"I smiled at him. I didn't want nothing"

Taxi

but to just sit where I could look at her.

"but to just sit where I could look at her."

Taxi

So I walked through this crowded gymnasium

"So I walked through this crowded gymnasium"

Taxi

and I see Sheila.

"and I see Sheila."

Taxi

She looked so beautiful.

"She looked so beautiful."

Taxi

She looked just like a beautician.

"She looked just like a beautician."

Taxi

Wow!

"Wow!"

Taxi

And I could see she was smiling big.

"And I could see she was smiling big."

Taxi

And everybody said, "Hey, Louie,

"And everybody said, "Hey, Louie,"

Taxi

come on over and sit next to Sheila."

"come on over and sit next to Sheila.""

Taxi

And I figured, "Boy, I lucked out."

"And I figured, "Boy, I lucked out.""

Taxi

And I moved over to the other side,

"And I moved over to the other side,"

Taxi

and I saw they had a high chair there.

"and I saw they had a high chair there."

Taxi

ALL: Aw.

"ALL: Aw."

Taxi

Well, what did you do, Louie?

"Well, what did you do, Louie?"

Taxi

Man, what did you do?

"Man, what did you do?"

Taxi

I says to them, "Okay, you did it.

"I says to them, "Okay, you did it."

Taxi

"You got me good.

""You got me good."

Taxi

Enjoy yourselves."

"Enjoy yourselves.""

Taxi

They sure took my advice.

"They sure took my advice."

Taxi

They were still laughing when I left.

"They were still laughing when I left."

Taxi

And I went home, and I swore to myself then

"And I went home, and I swore to myself then"

Taxi

that one day I'd come back a big shot--

"that one day I'd come back a big shot--"

Taxi

with all the money there was--

"with all the money there was--"

Taxi

and I'd walk into one of their high school reunions

"and I'd walk into one of their high school reunions"

Taxi

and make them all eat crackers,

"and make them all eat crackers,"

Taxi

if you know what I mean.

"if you know what I mean."

Taxi

And now, 20 years later,

"And now, 20 years later,"

Taxi

I'm not sure being a taxi dispatcher

"I'm not sure being a taxi dispatcher"

Taxi

is enough to do the job.

"is enough to do the job."

Taxi

Well, why don't you just go in there and lie?

"Well, why don't you just go in there and lie?"

Taxi

Everybody lies.

"Everybody lies."

Taxi

It's too big a job.

"It's too big a job."

Taxi

It's got to be done great.

"It's got to be done great."

Taxi

I'm not a good enough actor.

"I'm not a good enough actor."

Taxi

You know, I can't believe you just said that, Louie.

"You know, I can't believe you just said that, Louie."

Taxi

It's true.

"It's true."

Taxi

It's what I was just thinking.

"It's what I was just thinking."

Taxi

What?

"What?"

Taxi

Okay, now,

"Okay, now,"

Taxi

the important thing is that they're convinced

"the important thing is that they're convinced"

Taxi

that you turned out great, right?

"that you turned out great, right?"

Taxi

Yeah.

"Yeah."

Taxi

It's basically an acting job.

"It's basically an acting job."

Taxi

Ohh, I know what you're thinking.

"Ohh, I know what you're thinking."

Taxi

That would be great!

"That would be great!"

Taxi

What would be great? I want great.

"What would be great? I want great."

Taxi

Yeah? You're kidding.

"Yeah? You're kidding."

Taxi

I mean, do you really think so?

"I mean, do you really think so?"

Taxi

Don't tease.

"Don't tease."

Taxi

All right.

"All right."

Taxi

Let me explain one thing to start out with.

"Let me explain one thing to start out with."

Taxi

Now, I've been studying you for a long time, Louie.

"Now, I've been studying you for a long time, Louie."

Taxi

And I know that, if I ever got any acting breaks,

"And I know that, if I ever got any acting breaks,"

Taxi

that I'd want to use, like, a lot of things

"that I'd want to use, like, a lot of things"

Taxi

that you have in certain roles.

"that you have in certain roles."

Taxi

I mean, you're an extraordinary character, Louie.

"I mean, you're an extraordinary character, Louie."

Taxi

Yeah, so?

"Yeah, so?"

Taxi

Sometimes, when you're yelling at me,

"Sometimes, when you're yelling at me,"

Taxi

I can't concentrate on what you're saying

"I can't concentrate on what you're saying"

Taxi

'cause what I'm concentrating on are your character traits--

"'cause what I'm concentrating on are your character traits--"

Taxi

you know, the way your eyes pop out,

"you know, the way your eyes pop out,"

Taxi

and the way that vein stands out in your neck,

"and the way that vein stands out in your neck,"

Taxi

and the spit that gets in the corner of your mouth.

"and the spit that gets in the corner of your mouth."

Taxi

Yeah.

"Yeah."

Taxi

It's everything, you know?

"It's everything, you know?"

Taxi

The way you walk, the way you use your voice.

"The way you walk, the way you use your voice."

Taxi

I want the part, Louie.

"I want the part, Louie."

Taxi

I want to go into that reunion

"I want to go into that reunion"

Taxi

and convince them that I'm Louie De Palma.

"and convince them that I'm Louie De Palma."

Taxi

Now, maybe I can't get any acting jobs

"Now, maybe I can't get any acting jobs"

Taxi

but, if I can pull this off,

"but, if I can pull this off,"

Taxi

I know I'm going in the right direction.

"I know I'm going in the right direction."

Taxi

Let me do it, Louie. I want to do it.

"Let me do it, Louie. I want to do it."

Taxi

Let me be Louie De Palma

"Let me be Louie De Palma"

Taxi

at the reunion.

"at the reunion."

Taxi

It's impossible.

"It's impossible."

Taxi

It's not.

"It's not."

Taxi

It's 20 years later, right?

"It's 20 years later, right?"

Taxi

Everybody's changed.

"Everybody's changed."

Taxi

I'll make my hair dark.

"I'll make my hair dark."

Taxi

I grew in college.

"I grew in college."

Taxi

I'm too complex a person.

"I'm too complex a person."

Taxi

( imitating Louie: ) You can't be me.

"( imitating Louie: ) You can't be me."

Taxi

It won't work.

"It won't work."

Taxi

It won't work.

"It won't work."

Taxi

It's crazy. It's crazy.

"It's crazy. It's crazy."

Taxi

You can't talk like me. You can't talk like me.

"You can't talk like me. You can't talk like me."

Taxi

Maybe it would work. Maybe it would work.

"Maybe it would work. Maybe it would work."

Taxi

My name's Louie De Palma.

"My name's Louie De Palma."

Taxi

May I have my tag, please?

"May I have my tag, please?"

Taxi

Thanks.

"Thanks."

Taxi

Louie?

"Louie?"

Taxi

Louie De Palma?

"Louie De Palma?"

Taxi

Yeah.

"Yeah."

Taxi

George. Georgie Wilson.

"George. Georgie Wilson."

Taxi

George!

"George!"

Taxi

Gee, you've changed so much.

"Gee, you've changed so much."

Taxi

You look taller.

"You look taller."

Taxi

Well, yeah.

"Well, yeah."

Taxi

It's a weird thing.

"It's a weird thing."

Taxi

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