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Clips from Blackadder (1982) - Witchsmeller Pursuivant (S01E01)

"Will you force us to listen to a man who may be a witch himself?"
Blackadder (1982)
"You're absolutely right."
Blackadder (1982)
"That concludes the defence case. Thank you, Lord Percy."
Blackadder (1982)
"Begin!"
Blackadder (1982)
"Prince Edmund, are you a Christian?"
Blackadder (1982)
"Yes, of course."
Blackadder (1982)
"Can you say the Lord's Prayer?"
Blackadder (1982)
"I could say it backwards!"
Blackadder (1982)
"Confession!"
Blackadder (1982)
"Edmund, I believe you have a pussy cat."
Blackadder (1982)
"Yes."
Blackadder (1982)
"— Oh! It's name is Bubbles? — Right."
Blackadder (1982)
"Or to give it its full name — Beelzebubbles!"
Blackadder (1982)
"Do you deny that you were seen"
Blackadder (1982)
"on the feast of Saint Jacob the Turgid"
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"speaking to little Bubbles?"
Blackadder (1982)
"— Of course I deny it! — A—Ah!"
Blackadder (1982)
"But the chambermaid, Mary, heard you say,"
Blackadder (1982)
""Hello, Bubbles. Would you like some milk?”"
Blackadder (1982)
"— Well, I might have said that. — Ah!"
Blackadder (1982)
"— (All) Ah! — What did you mean by it?"
Blackadder (1982)
"I meant "Would the cat like some milk?""
Blackadder (1982)
"— Milk? — I meant milk, bloody milk!"
Blackadder (1982)
"Bloody milk! A mixture of milk and blood!"
Blackadder (1982)
"— No, no, just milk. — The blood was to come later!"
Blackadder (1982)
"There wasn't any blood!"
Blackadder (1982)
"So you had to make do with milk!"
Blackadder (1982)
"(Screaming)"
Blackadder (1982)
"My Lord, you have a horse called Black Satin?"
Blackadder (1982)
"Do you confess that on the 13th day of Norristide"
Blackadder (1982)
"you said to this horse, and I quote,"
Blackadder (1982)
""Satin, would you like some carrots?”"
Blackadder (1982)
"I might have done. He likes carrots."
Blackadder (1982)
"Carrots?"
Blackadder (1982)
"Ye—es, carrots."
Blackadder (1982)
"Ladies and gentlemen, we all know"
Blackadder (1982)
"that carrots are the devil's favourite food!"
Blackadder (1982)
"No, no, we don't. No, we don't."
Blackadder (1982)
"If the devil likes carrots, why isn't it mentioned in the Bible?"
Blackadder (1982)
"Why doesn't it say,"
Blackadder (1982)
""A—And he took the Lord up to the top of an high mountain"
Blackadder (1982)
"Why isn't "Thou shalt not eat carrots” in the Ten Commandments?"
Blackadder (1982)
"It is! In the appendix to the Apocrypha —"
Blackadder (1982)
""'Neither shalt thou eat the fruit of the tree"
Blackadder (1982)
"Carrots don't grow on trees."
Blackadder (1982)
"Oh, really? How did you get to know so much about carrots?"
Blackadder (1982)
"— Witch! — Oh!"
Blackadder (1982)
"My Lord, I call my first witness!"
Blackadder (1982)
"(Enthusiastic cheering)"
Blackadder (1982)
"Now, Satin, just relax, you're amongst friends. Good."
Blackadder (1982)
"Now, tell me in your own words, did you, Satin,"
Blackadder (1982)
"on certain nights last Garethstide,"
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"indulge, albeit I accept, in all innocence,"
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"— in frenzied... — Oh!"
Blackadder (1982)
"— ..naked and obscene... — 0-0h!"
Blackadder (1982)
"..satanic orgies with your master,"
Blackadder (1982)
"known to you as the Great Grumbledook?"
Blackadder (1982)
"— What? — Silence, Grumbledook!"
Blackadder (1982)
"Either that or he can't talk."
Blackadder (1982)
"A likely story."
Blackadder (1982)
"Black Satin, known in the hierarchy of evil"
Blackadder (1982)
"Are you the servant of Satan?"
Blackadder (1982)
"Was that a yea or a nay?"
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"It was a "nay", My Lord, but I don't believe a word of it."
Blackadder (1982)
"He may think he can fool us, but we have ways of making him talk!"
Blackadder (1982)
"Well, I suppose this is what comes of being a witch."
Blackadder (1982)
"I'm not a witch!"
Blackadder (1982)
"Edmund, you always were a bit of a fibber."
Blackadder (1982)
"Mother, I beg of you, use whatever power you have to help me."
Blackadder (1982)
"I haven't had any power for years."
Blackadder (1982)
"No, b—but Father's sick! You must do something, otherwise..."
Blackadder (1982)
"— Otherwise what? — Well, otherwise I'll be burnt!"
Blackadder (1982)
"— Oh, yes. This would be a pity. — Oh, thanks!"
Blackadder (1982)
"I'll see if I can sort out something."
Blackadder (1982)
"Yes?"
Blackadder (1982)
"Send for the greatest lawyers in the land and they could save you."
Blackadder (1982)
"Brilliant! Contact them at once."
Blackadder (1982)
"I've already done it, My Lord!"
Blackadder (1982)
"(Edmund) Oh, Percy, thank you! A—Are those the letters?"
Blackadder (1982)
"— Well, read them. — Um...er...very well."
Blackadder (1982)
"This is from Robert Wyatt in Somerset."
Blackadder (1982)
""What you ask is against reason and God.”"
Blackadder (1982)
""I spit on you and your master"
Blackadder (1982)
""and look forward to passing water"
Blackadder (1982)
""over both your graves as you lay dead.”"
Blackadder (1982)
"— What does that one say? — It's from John Watts."
Blackadder (1982)
""Dear Percy, I remember yourself and Prince Edmund at school,"
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""and so was interested by your letter...”"
Blackadder (1982)
"Yes?"
Blackadder (1982)
""May you both die horribly. Yours, John Watts.”"
Blackadder (1982)
"— What is it? — Well..."
Blackadder (1982)
"My wife would like you to come for dinner tonight."
Blackadder (1982)
"— No, thanks. — Why not?"
Blackadder (1982)
"Well, the food tastes like manure"
Blackadder (1982)
"and I find you both very boring."
Blackadder (1982)
"Oh, fair enough. How about next Thursday, then?"
Blackadder (1982)
"Um...yeah, that's lovely, yeah. About half eight?"
Blackadder (1982)
"Yeah. Be there."
Blackadder (1982)
"Brilliant! Well done, Baldrick. Very cunning."
Blackadder (1982)
"You may capture the eagle, but you cannot clip its wings."
Blackadder (1982)
"Anyway, how's that eagle of yours?"
Blackadder (1982)
"Oh, fine. Mind you, I had a bit of trouble to start with,"
Blackadder (1982)
"My Lord, unhappily the horse, Blessed Satin the Confessor,"
Blackadder (1982)
"that was to have been a witness today..."
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"— Yes? — ..cannot be with us."
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"You bastard!"
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"..he did make this signed confession."
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"I'll read it. "1, Black Satin, confess"
Blackadder (1982)
"(Woman) 0—-0-0h."
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"(Crowd) Oo—ooh!"
Blackadder (1982)
""..over a gallon...a gallon... a gallon of stable boy's blood™!"
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"Dear Lord...this tragic, horrid, nasty"
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"and most evil case draws to an end."
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"I call my last witness!"
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"(Cheering)"
Blackadder (1982)
"A talkative badger?"
Blackadder (1982)
"— I call...Jane Firkettle! — (All) Hooray!"
Blackadder (1982)
"Can you see that man there?"
Blackadder (1982)
"— Which? — That's him."
Blackadder (1982)
"‘Course I recognise him!"
Blackadder (1982)
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