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Clips from Idiocracy (2006)

"My-My-My joints are all achy and I..."
Idiocracy (2006)
"Is this a hospital or..."
Idiocracy (2006)
"Actually, I don't even know where I am."
Idiocracy (2006)
"Please proceed to the diagnostic area on the right..."
Idiocracy (2006)
"Thank you!"
Idiocracy (2006)
"Uh, 'scuse me. I think this might be Gatorade or somethin'."
Idiocracy (2006)
"- I was just looking for some regular water. - Water?"
Idiocracy (2006)
"Oh, is someone not feeling well?"
Idiocracy (2006)
"Your illness is very important to us."
Idiocracy (2006)
"- Next. - Welcome to the Healthmaster Inferno..."
Idiocracy (2006)
"This one goes in your ear. And this one goes in your butt."
Idiocracy (2006)
"Shit. Hang on a second."
Idiocracy (2006)
"This one... no."
Idiocracy (2006)
"- Hurry up! - This one. This one goes in your mouth."
Idiocracy (2006)
"Come on!"
Idiocracy (2006)
"Hey. How's it hang, ese?"
Idiocracy (2006)
"Yeah. Right. Well, not so good, you know."
Idiocracy (2006)
"I think it might be because of these drugs the army put me on."
Idiocracy (2006)
"But, if you could, uh, just get me well enough to get back to base..."
Idiocracy (2006)
"but, uh, it says on your chart that you're fucked up."
Idiocracy (2006)
"You talk like a fag, and your shit's all retarded."
Idiocracy (2006)
"What I'd do is just like, like, you know..."
Idiocracy (2006)
"like, you know what I mean? Like..."
Idiocracy (2006)
"- No, I'm serious here. - Don't worry, scrot."
Idiocracy (2006)
"Now there are plenty of 'tards out there living really kick-ass lives."
Idiocracy (2006)
"I need for you to be serious for a second here, okay? I need help."
Idiocracy (2006)
"There's that fag talk we talked about."
Idiocracy (2006)
"And if you could just go ahead and, like, put your tattoo in that shit."
Idiocracy (2006)
"That's weird. This thing has the same misprint as that magazine."
Idiocracy (2006)
"- What are the odds of... - Where's your tattoo? Tattoo?"
Idiocracy (2006)
"- Where's your tattoo? - Oh, my God."
Idiocracy (2006)
"- Oh, my God! - You're not unscannable, are you?"
Idiocracy (2006)
"- Unscannable! - No! No, you don't understand!"
Idiocracy (2006)
"They're all dead. Everybody I know's dead!"
Idiocracy (2006)
"- How'd this happen? - How did it happen?"
Idiocracy (2006)
"Your floor is now clean."
Idiocracy (2006)
"The economy was in a state of deep neglect."
Idiocracy (2006)
"Your balance is zero."
Idiocracy (2006)
"- What? Oh, no. No! - Please come back when you can afford to make a purchase."
Idiocracy (2006)
"This should help you calm down."
Idiocracy (2006)
"Please come back when you can afford to make a purchase."
Idiocracy (2006)
"Your kids are starving. Carl's Jr. believes no child should go hungry."
Idiocracy (2006)
"You are an unfit mother. Your children will be placed in the custody of Carl's Jr."
Idiocracy (2006)
"Welcome to Carl's Jr."
Idiocracy (2006)
"now with more molecules?"
Idiocracy (2006)
"Hey! Is this particular individual the unfit mother?"
Idiocracy (2006)
"- Me? No. - Okay. This particular individual is unscannable."
Idiocracy (2006)
"Wait a second. There's the other pod from the army experiment."
Idiocracy (2006)
"Yeah, that's enough of your bullshit, sir."
Idiocracy (2006)
"I'm fixin' to commensurate this trial here."
Idiocracy (2006)
"We gonna see if we can't come up with a verdict up in here."
Idiocracy (2006)
"Now, since y'all say you ain't got no money..."
Idiocracy (2006)
"we have "proprietarily" obtained for you..."
Idiocracy (2006)
"one of them court-appointed lawyers."
Idiocracy (2006)
"So, put your hands together and give it up for Frito Pendejo."
Idiocracy (2006)
"You're my lawyer?"
Idiocracy (2006)
"Listen, you gotta get me on the stand, okay?"
Idiocracy (2006)
"I can explain everything. We can take 'em to your house, show 'em the pod."
Idiocracy (2006)
"Shut up! Shut up! Shut up!"
Idiocracy (2006)
"Now, prosecutor, why you think he done it?"
Idiocracy (2006)
"Okay, number one, Your Honor, just look at him."
Idiocracy (2006)
"of how, like, this guy didn't even pay at the hospital."
Idiocracy (2006)
"And I heard that he doesn't even have his tattoo."
Idiocracy (2006)
"I know!"
Idiocracy (2006)
"And I'm all, "You've gotta be shittin' me." But check this out, man."
Idiocracy (2006)
"- Objection! - What are you objectifyin' on?"
Idiocracy (2006)
"- Come on. Just get me on the stand. - Okay."
Idiocracy (2006)
"- Um, Your Honor? - Hmm?"
Idiocracy (2006)
"that this guy also broke my apartment to shit."
Idiocracy (2006)
"- Yeah. - What?"
Idiocracy (2006)
"Don't say I stole. You're my lawyer."
Idiocracy (2006)
"And I object."
Idiocracy (2006)
"- I'm gonna mistrial my foot up your ass, you don't shut up."
Idiocracy (2006)
"- Please, listen. - "Please, listen.""
Idiocracy (2006)
"I was part of an army experiment..."
Idiocracy (2006)
"Joe stated his case logically and passionately..."
Idiocracy (2006)
"but his perceived effeminate voice only drew big gales of stupid laughter."
Idiocracy (2006)
"Welcome to AOL, Time Warner, Taco Bell, U. S. Government long distance."
Idiocracy (2006)
"- Man, what? - Oh, yeah, baby."
Idiocracy (2006)
"Oh, yeah, baby. I can wait so good."
Idiocracy (2006)
"Think, uh... you think maybe you could wait a day?"
Idiocracy (2006)
"Baby, I can wait two days."
Idiocracy (2006)
"Huh. That's good, 'cause I charge by the hour."
Idiocracy (2006)
"Oh, yeah? Well, you gonna be glad you waited, baby."
Idiocracy (2006)
"What the fuck?"
Idiocracy (2006)
"Goddamn, shit's changed in a year."
Idiocracy (2006)
"What are we doin' here?"
Idiocracy (2006)
"Welcome to the Identity Processing Program of America."
Idiocracy (2006)
"Please insert your forearm into the forearm receptacle."
Idiocracy (2006)
"Thank you."
Idiocracy (2006)
"Please speak your name as it appears on your current federal identity card..."
Idiocracy (2006)
"You have entered the name "Not Sure." Is this correct, Not Sure?"
Idiocracy (2006)
"No, it's not correct."
Idiocracy (2006)
"You've already confirmed your first name is Not."
Idiocracy (2006)
"- Please confirm your last name, "Sure." - My..."
Idiocracy (2006)
"My last name is not Sure."
Idiocracy (2006)
"- Thank you, Not Sure. - No. What I mean is my name is Joe."
Idiocracy (2006)
"Confirmation is complete. Please wait while I tattoo your new identity on your arm."
Idiocracy (2006)
"Wait a second. Can we start over? Can I cancel this?"
Idiocracy (2006)
"They're gonna tat... Ow. Could I speak to your supervisor?"
Idiocracy (2006)
"- Ow! - Please hold still for your photograph."
Idiocracy (2006)
"Oh, that's fuckin' great."
Idiocracy (2006)
"now we will begin to proceed to obtain your I. Q. and "apitude" tests."
Idiocracy (2006)
"What for?"
Idiocracy (2006)
"Okay, sir, this is to figure out what your "aptude's" good at..."
Idiocracy (2006)
"and get you a jail job while you're being a particular individual in jail."
Idiocracy (2006)
"If you have one bucket that holds two gallons..."
Idiocracy (2006)
"how many buckets do you have?"
Idiocracy (2006)
"'Too."
Idiocracy (2006)
"Desperate and scared..."
Idiocracy (2006)
"Joe used his superior intelligence..."
Idiocracy (2006)
"Hi. Excuse me. I'm actually supposed to be getting out of prison today, sir."
Idiocracy (2006)
"You're in the wrong line, dumb ass. Over there."
Idiocracy (2006)
"I'm sorry. I am being a big dumb ass. Sorry."
Idiocracy (2006)
"Hey, uh, let this dumb ass through."
Idiocracy (2006)
"- 'Too. - Yeah. Got it."
Idiocracy (2006)
"Uh, yeah, I don't see you in here. So, you're gonna have to, uh, stay in prison."
Idiocracy (2006)
"'Cause, I was, you know... I was definitely in prison, okay?"
Idiocracy (2006)
"I got sat on my face and everything. Maybe check those files back there?"
Idiocracy (2006)
"The Masturbation Network."
Idiocracy (2006)
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