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Clips from Ted (2012)

"Yeah. What do you mean? Anybody can come."
Ted (2012)
"Let them in. Right. Okay. Exactly. Good."
Ted (2012)
"No Mexicans, though."
Ted (2012)
"(SINGING)"
Ted (2012)
"Let him try it, man."
Ted (2012)
"All right, fuck it."
Ted (2012)
"(SCREAMING)"
Ted (2012)
"You can do any '90s song with just vowels."
Ted (2012)
"If you can punch through this wall, you really are Flash Gordon."
Ted (2012)
"(WOMEN EXCLAIMING)"
Ted (2012)
"Break his arm off!"
Ted (2012)
"We're going to die. We're all going to die."
Ted (2012)
"Break this up, break this up."
Ted (2012)
"(YELLING)"
Ted (2012)
"You break my wall, you bastard men."
Ted (2012)
"My name is Wan Ming."
Ted (2012)
"(YELLING)"
Ted (2012)
"Sam, let him go."
Ted (2012)
"Come on, James Franco."
Ted (2012)
"SAM: How we doing, ace?"
Ted (2012)
"Yeah, I don't feel so good."
Ted (2012)
"Give it a couple of hours. You'll be golden, Ponyboy."
Ted (2012)
"What?"
Ted (2012)
"Lori."
Ted (2012)
"She'll have a good cry, she'll be fine. You'll talk to her tomorrow."
Ted (2012)
"So, word through the grapevine is that you're"
Ted (2012)
"I have tickets to Norah Jones at the Hatch Shell tonight"
Ted (2012)
"You're asking me out a week after I broke up with somebody?"
Ted (2012)
"Look, I'm going to cut the shit, here."
Ted (2012)
"in all the years you've worked here."
Ted (2012)
"then I promise I will never even hint at the subject again."
Ted (2012)
"Rex, I don't think it's smart."
Ted (2012)
"to prove that he can be something more than a jerk."
Ted (2012)
"And it's about time someone treated you that way."
Ted (2012)
"I saw Lori leaving the apartment with Rex."
Ted (2012)
"They were going to the Hatch Shell."
Ted (2012)
"You know what? Get out of here."
Ted (2012)
"You know what? You're acting like a cock. You know that?"
Ted (2012)
"Huh? Meat hole? What?"
Ted (2012)
"That's not right, is it? No."
Ted (2012)
"No, it can't be that either."
Ted (2012)
"(CHUCKLES) Right? Pink Floyd."
Ted (2012)
"You know something? I didn't tie you up and drag you to that party."
Ted (2012)
"It works out so much better for you"
Ted (2012)
"And by blaming me, you, you're just"
Ted (2012)
"Say that one more time."
Ted (2012)
"(YELLING)"
Ted (2012)
"Fucking stop! Fuck!"
Ted (2012)
"(COUGHS)"
Ted (2012)
"I love you, too."
Ted (2012)
"Listen."
Ted (2012)
"You got to let me help you make things right with you and Lori."
Ted (2012)
"There's no putting things right. She fucking hates me."
Ted (2012)
"Look,"
Ted (2012)
"and you hit that squirrel with your BB gun?"
Ted (2012)
"And then we ran up to it"
Ted (2012)
"(MELLOW MUSIC PLAYING)"
Ted (2012)
"(SINGING)"
Ted (2012)
"(AUDIENCE CHEERING)"
Ted (2012)
"TED: Play Chopsticks, you jazzy slut."
Ted (2012)
"(LAUGHS)"
Ted (2012)
"Well, I'm not a hot, half-Muslim chick"
Ted (2012)
"Hi, Norah Jones."
Ted (2012)
"Hey, there, sweaty."
Ted (2012)
"You ready to bring down the house?"
Ted (2012)
"Yes, ma'am. Thank you for the opportunity, Miss..."
Ted (2012)
"and we had awkward fuzzy sex in the coatroom."
Ted (2012)
"(AUDIENCE CHEERING)"
Ted (2012)
"Hi, my name is John Bennett,"
Ted (2012)
"Because I love you."
Ted (2012)
"(SINGING) All I wanted was a sweet distraction For an hour or two"
Ted (2012)
"(IN FALSETTO) We move as one"
Ted (2012)
"We're an all time high"
Ted (2012)
"(AUDIENCE CONTINUES BOOING)"
Ted (2012)
"You're an asshole!"
Ted (2012)
"Than falling..."
Ted (2012)
"He was like a ragdoll."
Ted (2012)
"Yeah, I'd rather just not talk about it."
Ted (2012)
"I feel like I could use one after seeing a guy almost die."
Ted (2012)
"it was actually really unfair of him to embarrass you like that."
Ted (2012)
"Listen, John and I may have our problems, but at least he tried."
Ted (2012)
"(DOORBELL RINGING)"
Ted (2012)
"And then you can say whatever you want."
Ted (2012)
"but you've got to believe me it wasn't all his fault."
Ted (2012)
"I told him to bail on you that night at Rex's and he said, "No.""
Ted (2012)
"Look, Lori, you want him to be a man."
Ted (2012)
"He's waiting down at Charlie's right now."
Ted (2012)
"My God, America is imploding."
Ted (2012)
"Should I sit?"
Ted (2012)
"Yeah, if you want."
Ted (2012)
"Okay."
Ted (2012)
"If it's okay with you, I just want to say what I want to say."
Ted (2012)
"but I don't think you want to hear any of that crap."
Ted (2012)
"I want you to be happy. You deserve that."
Ted (2012)
"That's pretty much it."
Ted (2012)
"I got a lot of pictures of you guys at my house."
Ted (2012)
"I'm guessing you're more of a "wooden horse with a wig" kind of family."
Ted (2012)
"I saw you on television."
Ted (2012)
"And I asked my dad if I could have a magical little teddy bear, too."
Ted (2012)
"And I promised myself that if I ever had a son,"
Ted (2012)
"Maybe "no" to a Snickers bar every once in a while wouldn't hurt."
Ted (2012)
"Yes, you are, my little chipmunk."
Ted (2012)
"Happy playtime."
Ted (2012)
"I said a bad word one time."
Ted (2012)
"(SCREAMING IN PAIN)"
Ted (2012)
"All right, kid, you win. We'll do it your way."
Ted (2012)
"It's playtime, right? We'll play a game."
Ted (2012)
"Good, good. Let's see. How about we..."
Ted (2012)
"Okay, now you count to 100, and then you try to find me, okay?"
Ted (2012)
"(UPBEAT MUSIC PLAYING)"
Ted (2012)
"(SINGING)"
Ted (2012)
"(STAPLING) Ah!"
Ted (2012)
"Hey."
Ted (2012)
"Oh, I'm okay."
Ted (2012)
"(CELL PHONE RINGING)"
Ted (2012)
"(CELL PHONE RINGING)"
Ted (2012)
"Go ahead."
Ted (2012)
"Whoever this is, it's not a good time."
Ted (2012)
"I'm not sure, it's..."
Ted (2012)
"Hello?"
Ted (2012)
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