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Clips from The Big Bang Theory - The Higgs Boson Observation (S06E06)

"Hey, Bernie."
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"It's just being cooped up in this tin can for weeks on end is starting to get to me."
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"Doesn't matter. Half the time, he just ends up playing with the box."
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"- Really? Your potty-training journal? - Yeah."
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"This is humiliating. What was wrong with diapers?""
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"Disgusting."
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"Someone with a rudimentary understanding of science..."
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"If you want help, just hire a grad student."
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"- I don't do drugs. - Excellent."
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"All right, so I see here you're from Des Moines, Iowa."
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"I hope that didn't cause any hearing loss."
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"Look, Dr. Cooper, I really want this position."
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"He kept making me drop pencils for him."
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"Ah, congratulations, and may God have mercy on your soul."
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"- I'm Leonard, this is Raj. - Nice to meet you."
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"They left dogs up here in the '60s."
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"Come on, Howard. No one's leaving you up there."
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"Oh, yeah."
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"Okay, for the final touch, this is an eyelash-curler."
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"- I'm gonna video-chat Sheldon. - Hmm."
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"Dr. Cooper's office."
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"I'm Alex, Dr. Cooper's assistant."
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"- Can I help you? - I'd like to speak to Sheldon."
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"It's her I have to worry about."
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"Oh. Amy, really? She is not gonna come on to Sheldon."
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"Well, for starters, at some point, that face starts talking."
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"Really? Because just before you became my best friend..."
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"Has your assistant said anything about me?"
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"Wait, Alex, do you wannajoin us?"
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"If I've learned anything from British television shows on PBS..."
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"It's a kindness, Leonard."
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"Otherwise, you're cruelly tempting them..."
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"- Please join us. - Oh, okay. Thank you."
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"- Is he all right? - No."
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"It's okay, I've been around scientists all my life."
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"You should introduce him to Sheldon. The search is over."
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"Agh! Cherry stem. Cherry stem."
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"I'll leave the door unlocked."
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"Maybe you should talk to someone."
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"I don't even know where my relationship is with Leonard now."
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"So says your prefrontal cortex."
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"And there you have it..."
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"...the Thriller Adjacent to the Amygdala."
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"Science news. This will interest you."
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"...the grade-school science project that could be my ticket to the Nobel Prize."
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"Sheldon thinks the approach in his paper might change the way..."
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"- Do you work with Dr. Hofstadter? - In a way."
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"Oh, well, a lot of people can't, so..."
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"Where are we going?"
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"She seems nice."
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"Whee!"
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"Hey. How's my little astronauttie hottie?"
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"Okay, I guess."
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"Hang in there. You just have a couple more days to go and you'll be home."
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"- I know. - I gotta get back to work. I love you."
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"Love you too. Hey, Bernie..."
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"...before you go, can you do something for me?"
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"What do you want me to do?"
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"Okay, here it is."
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"I really miss gravity."
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"Can you drop something so I can watch it fall?"
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"Okay."
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"Oh, baby, you're killing me."
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"Unh. Hey, Sheldon? Hi."
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"This came for you today. It's from your mom."
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"Yeah, wait. Here."
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"For your troubles."
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"Oh, boy, a whole dollar."
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"Now I can quit my paper route."
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"So, what's in it?"
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"Yeah, it's journals and research papers I wrote as a child."
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"Aw. How cute."
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"Is this, like, a diary?"
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"No, that's my potty-training journal."
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"And forgive my crude penmanship. I didn't start typing until I was 6."
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""August 7th, 8:42 a.m."
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"...where I kept track of shape, color and consistency."
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"Oh!"
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"No, what's disgusting is he's still keeping track."
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"- Why do you need this...? - No, no, no."
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"- Oh. - Are you familiar with the Higgs boson?"
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"Heh. Of course."
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"It is... It's been in the news. And it's a very famous boson."
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"Nice try. No, in 1964..."
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"...Dr. Peter Higgs, accomplished self-promoter and physicist..."
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"...he wrote a paper postulating the existence..."
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"...of a subatomic particle called the Higgs boson."
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"Now, initially, the paper was rejected."
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"But recently, he was proven right."
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"And now he's on the fast track to win a Nobel Prize."
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"- Yeah. That's basically what I said. - Yeah..."
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"The point is, Higgs is being celebrated for work he did 50 years ago."
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"Perhaps I've already hit upon the idea that will win me my Nobel Prize."
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"I didn't know they gave Nobel Prizes for making boom-boom in the potty."
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"You really think there's some kind of scientific discovery in here?"
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"Well, this box only covers my work through nursery school."
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"There's a good deal more to come. I didn't really hit my academic stride..."
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"...until I cut out that time-suck known as playing outdoors."
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"That's a good point. My time is much too valuable."
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"Perhaps I should find someone to do it for me."
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"...but whose real talents lie in menial labor."
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"- Not gonna happen. - Yeah, well..."
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"If I didn't think you could handle it, I wouldn't be asking."
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"- Maybe I could do it. - Really."
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"You can assess the quality of my work? Okay. Um, here."
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"I wrote this when I was 5 years old."
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""A proof that algebraic topology..."
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"...can never have a non-self-contradictory set of abelian groups.""
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"I'm just a blond monkey to you, aren't I?"
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"You said it, not me."
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"All right, Ms. Jensen, before we begin, may I offer you a refreshment?"
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"Water, coffee, tea?"
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"A marijuana cigarette?"
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"Are you sure? Everyone's smoking them."
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"I think they're the best."
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"Yeah. That was a ruse."
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"They're not the best. Physics is the best."
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"By the way, coffee was also an unacceptable choice."
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"You're summa cum laude in theoretical physics from Stanford University."
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"Oh, and two years ago you had a persistent ear infection."
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