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Clips from The Big Bang Theory - The Higgs Boson Observation (S06E06)

"No, of course not."
The Big Bang Theory
"Well, I did a comprehensive background check."
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"Medical records, credit reports, criminal history."
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"I trust you paid off those parking tickets."
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"Yes, I did."
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"Hearing unimpaired. Good."
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"It would be an incredible honor to work for a man of your brilliance."
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"Flattery will not get you this job, Ms. Jensen."
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"It's not flattery if it's the truth."
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"Oh."
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"Well, thank you. Welcome aboard."
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"- Talked to Howard, lately? - Yeah, last night."
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"I got uncomfortable."
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"Hope you're hungry. They're serving macaroni and..."
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"Smooth."
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"Aren't you gonna introduce us?"
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"No. I have people for that now. You're up."
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"I'm Alex, Dr. Cooper's new assistant."
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"I'm so excited to be working with..."
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"And FYI, there'll be no breaks."
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"I should probably get to work."
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"She seems nice."
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"Hey, you already got a girlfriend. I call dibs."
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"- All I said was "She seems nice." - Yeah, well, I love her."
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"Hey, I wasn't expecting to hear from you today."
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"- Everything okay? - Uh, no, not really."
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"What's wrong?"
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"Well, remember the Soyuz capsule they were sending to bring us home?"
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"- Uh-huh. - It's delayed."
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"We're gonna be here at least another week, maybe 10 days."
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"It's the Russians, so you don't know."
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"I don't know how much longer I can take this. I can't sleep."
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"And zero-gravity is giving me crazy acid reflux."
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"I'm down to my last three Tums."
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"You're gonna be fine."
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"You survived that Weight Watchers cruise with your mom."
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"And they ran out of low-fat ice cream on day two."
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"Just calm down and take a few deep breaths."
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"Okay, okay."
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"What am I doing? I'm using up all the oxygen."
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"If I die, promise you'll never have sex with another man."
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"I'm a man-eater now."
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"You just place it on your lashes and squeeze it closed."
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"Oh. I don't know."
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"Looks like something used by Tinker Bell's gynecologist."
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"Who I hope, for her sake, is not Captain Hook, so..."
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"If my new look leads to phone sex..."
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"...I'm gonna have to ask you to leave the room."
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"I'm sorry, he's asked me to hold all calls..."
The Big Bang Theory
"...unless you're Stephen Hawking, his mother, or himself from the future."
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"- All right, well, tell him Amy called. - Last name?"
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"He knows my last name. I'm his girlfriend."
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"We have a contract and everything. I'll send you a PDF."
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"All right. I will tell him you called."
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"- Hmm. That's weird. - What?"
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"He didn't mention that Alex was a girl."
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"You're right. I don't have to worry about Sheldon."
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"Oh, really?"
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"...and not fall in love with it?"
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"Amy, this is crazy. You have nothing to be suspicious about."
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"I'm not suspicious."
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"I just wanna stop in, say hi to my boyfriend, and meet his new assistant."
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"- What are you doing? - Isn't it obvious?"
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"I'm spreading my scent to mark my territory."
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"Come on, Amy, that is not gonna work."
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"...I did this all over your apartment."
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"Oh, in fact, she has."
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"Her exact words were "What is that guy's problem?""
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"I'm in her head. Let the dance begin."
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"Here's your frozen yogurt, Dr. Cooper."
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"This should be fun."
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"Half chocolate, half vanilla, side by side, not swirled?"
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"- Yes. - Half a teaspoon of sprinkles?"
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"- Rainbow. - Two cherries?"
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"- One on top, one on the bottom. - Stems removed?"
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"Oh!"
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"I'm so sorry, Dr. Cooper."
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"It's all right, Alex. I'm not mad at you. I'm just disappointed."
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"- Um... - Alex, a moment."
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"I need a word with Dr. Hofstadter."
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"Do you think it's appropriate for her to sit with us, given her station?"
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"Given her what?"
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"...it's that servants dine downstairs with their own kind."
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"...with a glimpse of a world that's just beyond their soot-stained fingertips."
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"Oh, sure."
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"So, Alex, what's the topic of your dissertation?"
The Big Bang Theory
"I'm looking for Trojan asteroids at Earth's L-5 Lagrange point."
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"Oh. That happens to be Dr. Koothrappali's field of expertise."
The Big Bang Theory
"But compared to your boss, he's the poster boy for sanity."
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"- My dad's an astronomer at SETI. - Oh, SETI."
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"The Search for Extraterrestrial Intelligence."
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"What kind of research are you doing?"
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"- High-energy lasers. - Ooh, military?"
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"Not yet, but I can remove unwanted hair from 2 miles away."
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"You were right. I had nothing to worry about."
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"That skank's your problem, not mine."
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"Oh. A lot better, thanks. One sec."
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"Listen close, I don't have a lot of time."
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"I need you to go to my house."
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"In my bedroom you'll find a model rocket. I want you to bring it back to your place."
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"Okay."
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"Step two, build a version roughly 14 stories high."
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"Fill it full of rocket fuel and come get me."
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"Let them know you're having a little anxiety."
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"No, no. I'm fine. No anxiety."
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"From now on, "frog" is me, "sandwich" means you, and "lemon" means rocket."
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"So come on, sandwich, build me a lemon because froggie wants to come home."
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"Look at you..."
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"...putting on a brave face."
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"There's nothing to be brave about. Everything's fine."
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"Really? I don't know how much you know about primate behavior..."
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"Were she a mandrill, she would've bent over..."
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"...and displayed her brightly colored hindquarters like a big red welcome mat."
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"By the way, you try that at the junior prom, you get kicked out."
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"Okay, maybe she was flirting with him, but who cares?"
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"...that if another woman is attracted to Leonard..."
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"...it must be because he's desirable."
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"Well, of course he's desirable. I mean, he's great."
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"He's smart, he's sweet, and in the bedroom, whew..."
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"...let me tell you, he really tries."
The Big Bang Theory
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