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Clips from Scrubs - My House (S06E06)

"Look, whatever your decision is, I support you."
Scrubs
"You're so awesome, J.D."
Scrubs
"My lips taste weird."
Scrubs
"Somebody else's child?"
Scrubs
"We got a code pink, people!"
Scrubs
"Somebody just stole a baby."
Scrubs
"Baby, so, after I take this kid back to the nursery, I was thinking"
Scrubs
"maybe we could pack up you and Isabella and head home?"
Scrubs
"Turk, I can't handle going home right now."
Scrubs
"This place is really expensive, honey."
Scrubs
"on your hooey run about 42 bucks a pop."
Scrubs
"My body's a disaster zone right now, but it will get better,"
Scrubs
"I would stop talking about money."
Scrubs
"- Brace yourself. - Wait."
Scrubs
"He's hypoxic with a clear chest x-ray"
Scrubs
"which can be a sign of carbon monoxide poisoning."
Scrubs
"I learned that watching House."
Scrubs
"Look, I know you all curl up on your futons at night,"
Scrubs
"dreaming of cracking a real-life medical mystery so that"
Scrubs
"some doctor-slash-supermodel will want to touch your eruption button."
Scrubs
"But here's the bad news, this isn't a TV show."
Scrubs
"every week and doctors damn sure don't look like models."
Scrubs
"They look like Rex."
Scrubs
"What?"
Scrubs
"Chin up, you ugly bastard. So, if you want to solve a real mystery,"
Scrubs
"go ahead and figure out who's taking my New York Times"
Scrubs
"As far as Mr. Pierce goes, he has your run-of-the mill pulmonary embolism."
Scrubs
"And I know, I know,"
Scrubs
"it is a boring medical diagnosis,"
Scrubs
"Hey, there's that baby you stole."
Scrubs
"I kind of miss the little cutie. We really bonded."
Scrubs
"Come on, that kid doesn't remember you."
Scrubs
"So, you're really cool if Kim decides to take this job?"
Scrubs
"Hell no, man. She's going to be all the way in Washington."
Scrubs
"the phone, but I'm also a righty when I'm teaching mini-J.D. Who daddy is."
Scrubs
"Can't you work your way around that?"
Scrubs
"I'm screwed, dude. I mean, if I ask her to stay,"
Scrubs
"she's gonna resent me forever. You know what I gotta do?"
Scrubs
"I gotta be the best boyfriend ever so she never wants to leave me."
Scrubs
"I wanted to give you your paycheck in person"
Scrubs
"- Why don't you just hold onto that, sir? - That's not how it works."
Scrubs
"Now, I'm going to hand it to you and I want you to look at it,"
Scrubs
"Nurse Espinosa, mi hospital es su hospital."
Scrubs
"Hey, nice new digs."
Scrubs
"Looks like you could use a new coat of paint, though."
Scrubs
"If you're interested..."
Scrubs
"(ELLIOT CHUCKLES)"
Scrubs
"Now I just gotta find someone to replace this rug."
Scrubs
"Air traffic controller, gemologist, captain of industry, middle reliever,"
Scrubs
"ruggist."
Scrubs
"Oh, yeah, I know. But mine"
Scrubs
"How about it? Observe."
Scrubs
"Curved off to the left. It was working great yesterday at the zoo."
Scrubs
"Whether to your boss or to a kind-hearted John"
Scrubs
"who's given you a lot of business over the years."
Scrubs
"Hey, Sarah. How are you? I'm Dr. Dorian."
Scrubs
"Do you have any family you want us to contact?"
Scrubs
"No, it's just me and my dog, Charlie."
Scrubs
"You can try him, but he rarely answers his cell."
Scrubs
"What's Charlie's cell phone number?"
Scrubs
"1-800-CATS-R-LAME?"
Scrubs
"Okay. Other than the obvious loss of your sense of humor,"
Scrubs
"We'll run some tests and see what's happening."
Scrubs
"There's my girl."
Scrubs
"Hey, I got you something. It's a star."
Scrubs
"You can get them off this website. I named it after you."
Scrubs
"Frecklefart90."
Scrubs
"(EXCLAIMS)"
Scrubs
"Not the sight."
Scrubs
"Make it quick. I gotta be somewhere."
Scrubs
"Where?"
Scrubs
"Anywhere you and I aren't talking. Go."
Scrubs
"Okay. It's Carla."
Scrubs
"I can't get her out of here, and she listens to you, so I was thinking..."
Scrubs
"(WHISTLES)"
Scrubs
"You know, yelling at those interns made me realize how monotonous it is,"
Scrubs
"facing the same disease day after day, and that no matter what I do"
Scrubs
"to entertain myself, I'm still bored."
Scrubs
"of a resident because his license plate says, "PARTY DOC.""
Scrubs
"I heard crying coming from this room last night. I thought you should know."
Scrubs
"Don't look at me. I wasn't crying."
Scrubs
"One of us needs to check this out."
Scrubs
"I got it."
Scrubs
"- Why? - 'Cause her husband is orange."
Scrubs
"giving each other the silent treatment for generations."
Scrubs
"Anyhoo, she finally broke him down with this little ditty."
Scrubs
"Nobody can hear it without chiming in."
Scrubs
"(ELLIOT CLEARING THROAT)"
Scrubs
"Lollipop lollipop Oh lolli lolli lolli"
Scrubs
"Lollipop lollipop Oh lolli lolli lolli"
Scrubs
"(POPPING)"
Scrubs
"Lollipop lollipop Oh lolli lolli lolli"
Scrubs
"Lollipop"
Scrubs
"but there are no blockages, no virus is present and you have"
Scrubs
"J.D.: Even though real hospitals aren't like TV shows, that doesn't mean"
Scrubs
"there aren't mysteries. Like why a healthy woman's heart is failing."
Scrubs
"(SCATTING)"
Scrubs
"Elliot, I wouldn't take that if I were you."
Scrubs
"was what my girlfriend was gonna do about her job offer."
Scrubs
"So I spent the entire day thinking I can't leave you for four months,"
Scrubs
"but you're so amazing about the whole thing that I finally just called them"
Scrubs
"and accepted the job."
Scrubs
"They want me there tonight. Can you believe it?"
Scrubs
"Okay! I'm gonna go get us a muffin."
Scrubs
"(PAINTBALL GUN FIRING)"
Scrubs
"J.D.: No."
Scrubs
"So, you're sure you don't mind taking me to the airport tonight?"
Scrubs
"Unfortunately, work got in the way."
Scrubs
"- Give her a pep talk. Stat. - Yeah, no."
Scrubs
"that would have nothing to do with her medical well-being."
Scrubs
"I mean, there's got to be some reason you're always such a D-bag, right?"
Scrubs
"Okay, we have a 41 -year-old male who is as orange as an NBA game ball."
Scrubs
"Who can tell me why?"
Scrubs
"- I got an idea. - Yeah, I got an idea, too."
Scrubs
"If you want to work, let's stop paying for the room, so you can go home."
Scrubs
"Then you can come back and get paid to work."
Scrubs
"But carotene, like jaundice, turns you yellow,"
Scrubs
"just like certain blood disorders turn you blue"
Scrubs
"and tomatoes can turn you red."
Scrubs
"Sadly, there isn't anything on God's green Earth that turns you orange."
Scrubs
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