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Clips from Scrubs - My House (S06E06)

God, so many memories. So many, many memories.

"God, so many memories. So many, many memories."

Scrubs

Elliot, your new office is right there.

"Elliot, your new office is right there."

Scrubs

Nothing's gonna change but your lab coat.

"Nothing's gonna change but your lab coat."

Scrubs

whenever I felt like it.

"whenever I felt like it."

Scrubs

That was hot, stud, but I think it's just my leg that's supposed to be up.

"That was hot, stud, but I think it's just my leg that's supposed to be up."

Scrubs

J.D.: Oh, my God, she likes me!

"J.D.: Oh, my God, she likes me!"

Scrubs

and you don't want to be around me when I'm pregnant.

"and you don't want to be around me when I'm pregnant."

Scrubs

All the women in my family go psycho.

"All the women in my family go psycho."

Scrubs

- Yeah, but Kim... - I wasn't finished!

"- Yeah, but Kim... - I wasn't finished!"

Scrubs

(SIGHS)

"(SIGHS)"

Scrubs

so if you want to get near it ever again,

"so if you want to get near it ever again,"

Scrubs

House is a genius.

"House is a genius."

Scrubs

That's it. I'm whacking both of you.

"That's it. I'm whacking both of you."

Scrubs

(BOTH GROAN)

"(BOTH GROAN)"

Scrubs

There aren't any cameras over here. Real medical mysteries don't happen

"There aren't any cameras over here. Real medical mysteries don't happen"

Scrubs

every Sunday. Or, better yet,

"every Sunday. Or, better yet,"

Scrubs

how about why anybody on the planet actually thinks Dane Cook is funny.

"how about why anybody on the planet actually thinks Dane Cook is funny."

Scrubs

but that's what hospitals are. Boring.

"but that's what hospitals are. Boring."

Scrubs

And phone sex is out of the question, because I'm a righty when I talk on

"And phone sex is out of the question, because I'm a righty when I talk on"

Scrubs

Turkleton. I need a word.

"Turkleton. I need a word."

Scrubs

sigh, and give it back to me.

"sigh, and give it back to me."

Scrubs

(SIGHING)

"(SIGHING)"

Scrubs

I invented a machine that prints business cards.

"I invented a machine that prints business cards."

Scrubs

That's already been invented.

"That's already been invented."

Scrubs

also fires paint pellets.

"also fires paint pellets."

Scrubs

Doctor Reid, I thought I would just stop in and say goodbye.

"Doctor Reid, I thought I would just stop in and say goodbye."

Scrubs

Yes, but you won't be working for Sacred Heart, the place that spent

"Yes, but you won't be working for Sacred Heart, the place that spent"

Scrubs

You're like a prostitute that gets paid up-front and then bolts

"You're like a prostitute that gets paid up-front and then bolts"

Scrubs

So, goodbye, Miss Mei Ling of Gentle Oriental Escorts,

"So, goodbye, Miss Mei Ling of Gentle Oriental Escorts,"

Scrubs

and goodbye, Dr. Reid.

"and goodbye, Dr. Reid."

Scrubs

I understand you've been having palpitations and shortness of breath.

"I understand you've been having palpitations and shortness of breath."

Scrubs

That's so sweet.

"That's so sweet."

Scrubs

Unfortunately, Kim was taken, so I tried Kim with two M's, Kim with three M's,

"Unfortunately, Kim was taken, so I tried Kim with two M's, Kim with three M's,"

Scrubs

- Kim-1, Kim-2... - Well, what's it called?

"- Kim-1, Kim-2... - Well, what's it called?"

Scrubs

Yes.

"Yes."

Scrubs

J.D.: That was so lucky.

"J.D.: That was so lucky."

Scrubs

How could I ever leave you?

"How could I ever leave you?"

Scrubs

(PAINTBALL GUN FIRING)

"(PAINTBALL GUN FIRING)"

Scrubs

Dr. Cox, I need your help.

"Dr. Cox, I need your help."

Scrubs

Say no more.

"Say no more."

Scrubs

Whether it's reading the paper or shaving the sideburns off

"Whether it's reading the paper or shaving the sideburns off"

Scrubs

By my calculations, that rant just cost me $27.

"By my calculations, that rant just cost me $27."

Scrubs

- Excuse me, Dr. Cox? - Yes, Party Doc?

"- Excuse me, Dr. Cox? - Yes, Party Doc?"

Scrubs

Maybe she got postpartum depression.

"Maybe she got postpartum depression."

Scrubs

- What? - I can't do it.

"- What? - I can't do it."

Scrubs

- Good afternoon. - What's up?

"- Good afternoon. - What's up?"

Scrubs

Oh, Dr. Kelso, what radiologist is on call today?

"Oh, Dr. Kelso, what radiologist is on call today?"

Scrubs

Oh, right. The silent treatment.

"Oh, right. The silent treatment."

Scrubs

Well, unfortunately for you, the Reid family has actually been

"Well, unfortunately for you, the Reid family has actually been"

Scrubs

There was one time my dad wasn't talking to my mom because

"There was one time my dad wasn't talking to my mom because"

Scrubs

I know. She wasn't thinking.

"I know. She wasn't thinking."

Scrubs

Lollipop

"Lollipop"

Scrubs

He was about to crack, Ted. What the hell?

"He was about to crack, Ted. What the hell?"

Scrubs

Well, your labs are back and it's definitely heart failure,

"Well, your labs are back and it's definitely heart failure,"

Scrubs

Wow.

"Wow."

Scrubs

J.D.: Or why a friend is mad at you instead of the guy being the jerk.

"J.D.: Or why a friend is mad at you instead of the guy being the jerk."

Scrubs

Finally.

"Finally."

Scrubs

J.D.: I had to think of a new plan to keep Kim from leaving.

"J.D.: I had to think of a new plan to keep Kim from leaving."

Scrubs

The only thing worse than not knowing why a patient is crashing

"The only thing worse than not knowing why a patient is crashing"

Scrubs

is being offered help by the hospital's grief counselor, Dr. Eadrick.

"is being offered help by the hospital's grief counselor, Dr. Eadrick."

Scrubs

Need help, old friend?

"Need help, old friend?"

Scrubs

Oh, yeah. Her kidneys are failing.

"Oh, yeah. Her kidneys are failing."

Scrubs

You know, maybe instead of lashing out at me

"You know, maybe instead of lashing out at me"

Scrubs

you should turn that anger gun at the person you're really mad at.

"you should turn that anger gun at the person you're really mad at."

Scrubs

Turk, I just need a break from the baby.

"Turk, I just need a break from the baby."

Scrubs

it's lost all of its meaning.

"it's lost all of its meaning."

Scrubs

to describe how I feel about others.

"to describe how I feel about others."

Scrubs

I mega-loathe you all. Good day.

"I mega-loathe you all. Good day."

Scrubs

and he's gonna help me with your diagnosis.

"and he's gonna help me with your diagnosis."

Scrubs

Now, leave before I put a rhinestone collar around your neck,

"Now, leave before I put a rhinestone collar around your neck,"

Scrubs

- Again, teammates. Okay. - Go.

"- Again, teammates. Okay. - Go."

Scrubs

- You are single. - That's right.

"- You are single. - That's right."

Scrubs

It's go time.

"It's go time."

Scrubs

Oh, yes, I am, Kim.

"Oh, yes, I am, Kim."

Scrubs

and I was always going to want you not to.

"and I was always going to want you not to."

Scrubs

- You do. - Gotta confess, though.

"- You do. - Gotta confess, though."

Scrubs

Uh-oh.

"Uh-oh."

Scrubs

Great.

"Great."

Scrubs

Hey, Elliot, you gonna finish that muffin?

"Hey, Elliot, you gonna finish that muffin?"

Scrubs

J.D.: Around here, sometimes you do wish it was more like TV.

"J.D.: Around here, sometimes you do wish it was more like TV."

Scrubs

and conveniently solve everything.

"and conveniently solve everything."

Scrubs

Our little orange friend, Mr. Mehleison.

"Our little orange friend, Mr. Mehleison."

Scrubs

and tomatoes turn you red, what color would he most likely turn

"and tomatoes turn you red, what color would he most likely turn"

Scrubs

- Orange. - Correct. And Gandhi,

"- Orange. - Correct. And Gandhi,"

Scrubs

I understand that you are confused

"I understand that you are confused"

Scrubs

Now, Newbie, as far as your patient is concerned,

"Now, Newbie, as far as your patient is concerned,"

Scrubs

Takosobu Cardiomyopathy.

"Takosobu Cardiomyopathy."

Scrubs

Takosobu Cardiomyopathy, also known as "Broken Heart Syndrome,"

"Takosobu Cardiomyopathy, also known as "Broken Heart Syndrome,""

Scrubs

Turns out her husband had just died

"Turns out her husband had just died"

Scrubs

I'm betting that her grief over his passing

"I'm betting that her grief over his passing"

Scrubs

And, no, no, I'm not Superman.

"And, no, no, I'm not Superman."

Scrubs

I mean, how are you supposed to treat that?

"I mean, how are you supposed to treat that?"

Scrubs

(MACHINE BEEPING NORMALLY)

"(MACHINE BEEPING NORMALLY)"

Scrubs

Possible side effects of kittens include sneezing,

"Possible side effects of kittens include sneezing,"

Scrubs

tiny scratches and erectile dysfunction.

"tiny scratches and erectile dysfunction."

Scrubs

Next time, just remember to take care of your patient emotionally.

"Next time, just remember to take care of your patient emotionally."

Scrubs

well, that can destroy the body, the mind... It can destroy anything.

"well, that can destroy the body, the mind... It can destroy anything."

Scrubs

I couldn't let you leave without you knowing

"I couldn't let you leave without you knowing"

Scrubs

Look, we're gonna talk every night,

"Look, we're gonna talk every night,"

Scrubs

for phone sex and we're gonna get through it.

"for phone sex and we're gonna get through it."

Scrubs

Don't be ridiculous. I've been with a lot of big girls.

"Don't be ridiculous. I've been with a lot of big girls."

Scrubs

Oh, yeah?

"Oh, yeah?"

Scrubs

J.D.: The best part of a great mystery is its resolution.

"J.D.: The best part of a great mystery is its resolution."

Scrubs

Whether you finally realized what your friend was looking for...

"Whether you finally realized what your friend was looking for..."

Scrubs

- So, tell me about your new job. - It's amazing.

"- So, tell me about your new job. - It's amazing."

Scrubs

Am I ever going to look normal again?

"Am I ever going to look normal again?"

Scrubs

Oh, sure, sure, as long as you cut back on your vegetables.

"Oh, sure, sure, as long as you cut back on your vegetables."

Scrubs

Maybe, I don't know, buy some clothes from this decade.

"Maybe, I don't know, buy some clothes from this decade."

Scrubs

Turk, I can't handle going home right now.

"Turk, I can't handle going home right now."

Scrubs

Don't look at me. I wasn't crying.

"Don't look at me. I wasn't crying."

Scrubs

I just need a break from the baby.

"I just need a break from the baby."

Scrubs

J.D.: Elliot had just finished her last shift at Sacred Heart

"J.D.: Elliot had just finished her last shift at Sacred Heart"

Scrubs

before starting her new career in private practice.

"before starting her new career in private practice."

Scrubs

I can't believe it's all over.

"I can't believe it's all over."

Scrubs

On the up side, I could give her dramatic "don't-go" kisses

"On the up side, I could give her dramatic "don't-go" kisses"

Scrubs

This is going to be such a tough decision,

"This is going to be such a tough decision,"

Scrubs

'cause I don't know if you're aware of this,

"'cause I don't know if you're aware of this,"

Scrubs

- but I've been really digging you lately. - Oh, I'm aware, baby.

"- but I've been really digging you lately. - Oh, I'm aware, baby."

Scrubs

Still, I'd only be gone four months,

"Still, I'd only be gone four months,"

Scrubs

It's perfectly fine. Just hit the wall.

"It's perfectly fine. Just hit the wall."

Scrubs

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