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Clips from Scrubs - My House (S06E06)

"Swing and a miss, Webster. Next."
Scrubs
"Maybe he used some fake tan cream."
Scrubs
"I used it once. Turned me orange all over."
Scrubs
"But kudos, Keith, on finally outing yourself."
Scrubs
"Hello, Stacy, Rebecca, Larry."
Scrubs
"- Why does she hate me? - Don't say "hate," Gandhi."
Scrubs
"You kids throw that word around so much"
Scrubs
"(HUMMING)"
Scrubs
"Here's Dr. Cox. He's one of my colleagues"
Scrubs
"We're kind of teammates."
Scrubs
"So, Sarah here has the beginnings of what looks like..."
Scrubs
"I can read a chart, Newbie."
Scrubs
"have you fixed, and make you my lap doctor."
Scrubs
"I see by your chart here that you are..."
Scrubs
"J.D.: Kim's leaving to pack and I still have no plan to make her stay."
Scrubs
"Just say the first thing that pops into your head."
Scrubs
"- Hey, J.D. - I'm rich."
Scrubs
"- You don't have to take that job. - You're not rich."
Scrubs
"And this right here is my dope-ass Mercedes, okay?"
Scrubs
"(SQUEAKING)"
Scrubs
"- You're an idiot, J.D. - Am I, Kim?"
Scrubs
"Dr. Tabini. Dr. Tabini, I'm on the car. Larry! Larry! I'm on the car."
Scrubs
"There's my girl."
Scrubs
"What am I supposed to say, Kim? "Don't go 'cause I'll miss you"?"
Scrubs
"Kim, we both know you were always gonna take that job"
Scrubs
"You know what? I'll get myself to the airport."
Scrubs
"You usually have to go to a van convention to see art of this quality."
Scrubs
"I cheated a little bit. I used an actual head from the morgue as a model."
Scrubs
"Be careful, it's actually around here somewhere."
Scrubs
"(GROANING)"
Scrubs
"- I think I heard something break. - Here you go."
Scrubs
"Podiatrist?"
Scrubs
"I also buy and sell feet. So, any way you want to go, I got you covered."
Scrubs
"- Why are you so pissy with us? - Why is Sarah dying?"
Scrubs
"Why is that guy orange?"
Scrubs
"Ah, yes, the huddled masses. Carla, I see you're trying one of"
Scrubs
"this establishment's disgusting new tomato muffins."
Scrubs
"Do you know who else just loved tomatoes?"
Scrubs
"As you correctly pointed out, the only thing he loved more than"
Scrubs
"tomatoes were carrots. And if carrots turn you yellow"
Scrubs
"as to why Private Practice Barbie has a beef"
Scrubs
"with you and your scrawny little life partner."
Scrubs
"Kelso's the one being the jerk. Not us."
Scrubs
"in doing so, he's actually acknowledging that she's ready"
Scrubs
"Nothing's gonna change but your lab coat."
Scrubs
"He's right. I mean, lately all this great stuff's been happening to you guys."
Scrubs
"Dear God, Barbie, we get the point."
Scrubs
"This would roughly be my time."
Scrubs
"is when a severe emotional trauma triggers a weakening"
Scrubs
"of the heart muscle. On her chart you indicated that she was single,"
Scrubs
"and she wasn't ready to take the ring off yet."
Scrubs
"is what caused her heart failure."
Scrubs
"I'm just Dr. Cox."
Scrubs
"She's going to need a lot more counseling, but we'll get her there."
Scrubs
"Well, not "we," so much as me."
Scrubs
"I can't believe you can have heart failure just from being sad."
Scrubs
"(MACHINE ALARMING)"
Scrubs
"He's coding! Get me a box of kittens, stat!"
Scrubs
"Wouldn't I be a great spokesperson for things?"
Scrubs
"If someone's in a good place, they heal quicker. If they're in a negative place,"
Scrubs
"J.D.: Even a relationship."
Scrubs
"- Will you excuse me for a second? - Oh, God, yes."
Scrubs
"ANNO UNCER ON PA: This is the final boarding call for Action Air, flight 65."
Scrubs
"Oh, J.D.!"
Scrubs
"So, then everyone watches us do it and claps after?"
Scrubs
"- The end. - Sweet story."
Scrubs
"I'm sorry. I was such an idiot. I just... I'm really gonna miss you."
Scrubs
"we're gonna get you a hands-free headset"
Scrubs
"Oh, God, I'm gonna be so big when I get back,"
Scrubs
"(WHERE DO YOU GO PLAYING)"
Scrubs
"Oh, I almost forgot."
Scrubs
"Your wife was crying the other night."
Scrubs
"Keep an eye out for postpartum depression. It's pretty serious."
Scrubs
"She hasn't seemed sad at all, but I'll keep an eye out."
Scrubs
"it's always easy to miss one."
Scrubs
"Anyone else want to go?"
Scrubs
"J.D.: Speaking of new jobs, I wasn't thrilled that my pregnant girlfriend"
Scrubs
"was offered a research grant in Tacoma."
Scrubs
"Oh, J.D."
Scrubs
"Now, I don't know if you know this, but the ice packs you've been putting"
Scrubs
"Either way, I'm whacking you with my clipboard."
Scrubs
"No problemo, chiefo."
Scrubs
"Why? I'll still be working here."
Scrubs
"from the restaurant after dinner. It's about common courtesy, Reid."
Scrubs
"Seriously gonna ignore me because I took another job?"
Scrubs
"Look, you were in and out of consciousness"
Scrubs
"(J.D. TITTERS)"
Scrubs
"and the fact I graduated high school in 1990."
Scrubs
"(EXCLAIMS)"
Scrubs
"Grab a seat, people. This just got interesting."
Scrubs
"Don't even talk to me."
Scrubs
"Mommy? Just a guess."
Scrubs
"D-bag."
Scrubs
"Jennifer, Lyle, portly island boy..."
Scrubs
"Elliot, I can't get Carla to leave this place."
Scrubs
"I didn't want to tell you 'cause I wanted you to like me for me."
Scrubs
"J.D., why didn't you just tell me you didn't want me to go?"
Scrubs
"Look, it's only four months. It's really good for my career."
Scrubs
"Why don't you just do what's best for you?"
Scrubs
"And a bigger-than-life character like House would just show up"
Scrubs
"if he were to gorge himself on both those items?"
Scrubs
"I mean, your part, the bungling of the diagnosis, is done."
Scrubs
"- Kim, wait! - J.D.?"
Scrubs
"I completely support your decision."
Scrubs
"Now, let's get that shirt off. There they are."
Scrubs
"Of course, no matter how many mysteries you solve,"
Scrubs
"For the freckle on my ass, my lactose intolerance"
Scrubs
"Treating her emotionally,"
Scrubs
"Non-stop service to Tacoma, Washington."
Scrubs
"I've been hit."
Scrubs
"Or why a grown man is orange."
Scrubs
"Of course, for me, the biggest mystery"
Scrubs
"Yes, but even though that horny old raisin is acting like an ass,"
Scrubs
"Thanks for the coffee."
Scrubs
"Could you do me a favor?"
Scrubs
"You know, I'm back. I'm back."
Scrubs
"So why would I have heart failure?"
Scrubs
"That answer was either very sarcastic or very stupid."
Scrubs
"yet I noticed she was still wearing her wedding ring."
Scrubs
"she stopped boffing the gardener right at the height of weed season."
Scrubs
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