Loading...
You're not connected to the Internet. Please check your connection.

Clips from The Simpsons - Today, I Am a Clown (S15E15)

"Telemundo... Me... Turned it down... ABC..."
The Simpsons
"Lame... Regis..."
The Simpsons
"Let's see, champagne or Slim Fast?"
The Simpsons
"Boy, that really passes the time."
The Simpsons
"(KNOCKING AT DOOR)"
The Simpsons
"He's at the peak of cuteness."
The Simpsons
"(CHUCKLES)"
The Simpsons
"You could nuzzle me all night."
The Simpsons
"That's enough. I said that's enough!"
The Simpsons
"And it hasn't changed a bit."
The Simpsons
"DSL! DSL! Who will buy my high-speed connections?"
The Simpsons
"Brazilian wax! Get your velvety smooth, Brazilian wax!"
The Simpsons
"Hey, the Jewish Walk of Fame!"
The Simpsons
"Here, go on Sandy Koufax."
The Simpsons
"I lost ten grand when he wouldn't pitch on Yom Kippur!"
The Simpsons
"I did five shows that night!"
The Simpsons
"Okay, boy. Let's find my star."
The Simpsons
"(WHIMPERING)"
The Simpsons
"Why ain't I here? I'm a bigger name than..."
The Simpsons
"I'm gonna get to the bottom of this."
The Simpsons
"Well, of course you deserve a star, Krusty."
The Simpsons
"Let me just ask you a few questions."
The Simpsons
"Full name?"
The Simpsons
"Herschel Pinchas Yoracham Krustofski."
The Simpsons
"Good, good. Circumcision?"
The Simpsons
"And then some! (CHUCKLES)"
The Simpsons
"Date of Bar Mitzvah?"
The Simpsons
"Well, I, uh... You see, the truth is..."
The Simpsons
"I never had one."
The Simpsons
"No Bar Mitzvah?"
The Simpsons
"In the eyes of God and the Springfield Jewish Walk of Fame Committee,"
The Simpsons
"Now see here! Do you know how much I donate to the B'nai B'rith?"
The Simpsons
"Actually, I do."
The Simpsons
"Oh, I was turned down by all those country clubs for nothing!"
The Simpsons
"Well, you're still my hero."
The Simpsons
"So what? Everything's changed."
The Simpsons
"We have so much to discuss."
The Simpsons
"Now I know the reason my life is so empty."
The Simpsons
"I never had a Bar Mitzvah."
The Simpsons
"Cheer up, Krusty. You're a clue"
The Simpsons
"What more can a man want?"
The Simpsons
"Bart, the Bar Mitzvah is the most"
The Simpsons
"important event in a Jewish boy's life."
The Simpsons
"It's when he reads from the Torah and becomes a man."
The Simpsons
"The sweet little shikse's right."
The Simpsons
"Without a Bar Mitzvah, I'm just a boy"
The Simpsons
"with a prostate the size of a goat's head!"
The Simpsons
"Who knows? I've lived so hard, there's big gaps in my memory."
The Simpsons
"I remember learning to ride a bike,"
The Simpsons
"then pretty much nothing till right now."
The Simpsons
"Why don't we ask your dad?"
The Simpsons
"Yeah, right! My father will put this"
The Simpsons
"in a spiritual, philosophical context."
The Simpsons
"I'll tell you why you didn't have a Bar Mitzvah."
The Simpsons
"It's because you're a puts. Everything is a joke to you."
The Simpsons
"I was afraid you'd make a mockery out of the whole ceremony,"
The Simpsons
"like you're making a mockery out of me right now."
The Simpsons
"Yes, it is. You're a clown."
The Simpsons
"(SOBBING)"
The Simpsons
"Krusty, you can still have your Bar Mitzvah, as an adult."
The Simpsons
"That'd be great. Are you sure that's kosher?"
The Simpsons
"There's nothing in the Talmud that forbids it."
The Simpsons
"How do you know all this stuff?"
The Simpsons
"I have a Jewish imaginary friend."
The Simpsons
"Her name is Rachel Cohen and she just got into Brandeis."
The Simpsons
"Wonderful!"
The Simpsons
"Hey, hey, kids! I got a confession to make."
The Simpsons
"Underneath all this plastic surgery, I am actually a Jew!"
The Simpsons
"And from now on, I'm embracing my faith!"
The Simpsons
"(CHEERING)"
The Simpsons
"What's not to like?"
The Simpsons
"Now I'll teach you my traditions,"
The Simpsons
"the way my people have passed them down for centuries,"
The Simpsons
"(READING BLESSING IN HEBREW)"
The Simpsons
"(SCREAMS)"
The Simpsons
"(LAUGHS)"
The Simpsons
"And that's what I believe in now!"
The Simpsons
"(LAUGHING)"
The Simpsons
"Once I was clapping and the applause sign wasn't even on!"
The Simpsons
"Hey, that's great. But I got a problem."
The Simpsons
"This schedule has me working on Saturdays. That's the Sabbath!"
The Simpsons
"Well, we could tape two shows on Friday."
The Simpsons
"Are you nuts?"
The Simpsons
"I can barely get through one show on Friday! Even with the..."
The Simpsons
"You know, smelling flowers?"
The Simpsons
"Such expensive flowers, filled with remorse."
The Simpsons
"Anyway, we gotta book a guest host!"
The Simpsons
"How about Jon Stewart?"
The Simpsons
"He's a son, a lover and a pundit rolled into one sexy package!"
The Simpsons
"(GROWLS)"
The Simpsons
"He'd be perfect! So forget it!"
The Simpsons
"I need a guest host so bad, he can never replace me."
The Simpsons
"I need someone who's not intelligent."
The Simpsons
"Not good-looking. (EXCLAIMS)"
The Simpsons
"And so utterly repellent, he..."
The Simpsons
"I'm your man!"
The Simpsons
"Man, are you unpleasant! You're in!"
The Simpsons
"Children, I wish to announce that our show has undergone a reformatting."
The Simpsons
"(CHEERING)"
The Simpsons
"Let's get ready to listen quietly!"
The Simpsons
"Now tonight's guest host, the ultimate placeholder, Homer Simpson!"
The Simpsons
"Welcome to The Homer Simpson Show."
The Simpsons
"I'm your host, next card."
The Simpsons
"Homer Simpson, it's great to be here in, next card."
The Simpsons
"Carl Carlson, raconteur,"
The Simpsons
"and Lenny Leonard, three-time juror."
The Simpsons
"Gentlemen, what's on your mind?"
The Simpsons
"Dad, you have to say something. Something meaningful."
The Simpsons
"You ever notice how seats are too small for normal looking guys like me?"
The Simpsons
"Theaters, airplanes? Why even here! Look!"
The Simpsons
"(GRUNTING)"
The Simpsons
"Never go on the teacup ride"
The Simpsons
"after eating at Beauty and the Beast's Fried Dough Chateau."
The Simpsons
"Hey, I got a question."
The Simpsons
"How come oldies stations are always playing the same song?"
The Simpsons
"How about some new oldies, geniuses?"
The Simpsons
"Boy, these guys are right on the money."
The Simpsons
"Yeah. My neck is sore from agreeing so much."
The Simpsons
"Hey, baby! (MIMICS KISSING) You looking for a good time, huh?"
The Simpsons
"Go home, turn on your television, Channel Six."
The Simpsons
Show more clips