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Clips from The Simpsons - Today, I Am a Clown (S15E15)

"Thanks for the tip!"
The Simpsons
"Yeah, yeah, twins. I get it. Now let's watch"
The Simpsons
"something I'm really interested in."
The Simpsons
"Who has more power? Miss America or Miss USA?"
The Simpsons
"I think one's elected and the other one's appointed."
The Simpsons
"I think your water just broke."
The Simpsons
"Will you be quiet?"
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"Now you can't mix milk and meat. You got that?"
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"and pork is strictly forbidden!"
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"All these rules! I feel like I'm in a strip club!"
The Simpsons
"Well, Dad, what do you want to talk about tonight?"
The Simpsons
"Hmm..."
The Simpsons
"Listen, Homer, I'd like to raise an issue."
The Simpsons
"Why so formal, Lenny? You're my go-to guy."
The Simpsons
"Oh, about that."
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"You know, I've been with this show"
The Simpsons
"from the beginning and I was, uh..."
The Simpsons
"Interesting."
The Simpsons
"Please welcome new panelist, Barney Gumble."
The Simpsons
"That light's a little bright. You think you can move it?"
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"Please welcome our newest panelist, Disco Stu."
The Simpsons
"My husband's a power-mad star."
The Simpsons
"Maybe now we can get that padding that goes under rugs."
The Simpsons
"Very good. You just earned yourself a Dr. Brown's."
The Simpsons
"Krusty, you know Diane, Stu, and Jeremy from the network."
The Simpsons
"Krusty, we've got some bad news."
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"We think you're super talented..."
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"Oh, God! You're canceling me!"
The Simpsons
"Krusty, Krusty, TV is a fickle business. You've had a good run."
The Simpsons
"But Homer Simpson's a fresh face and..."
The Simpsons
"You're not doing this fast enough!"
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"I'm... No!"
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"(SOBBING)"
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"Simpson, I hate to bother you"
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"when you're eating but you're always eating."
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"My pleasure."
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"I eat Legos."
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"So did I, son. And look where I am today."
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"Boy, everybody loves my show."
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"It's great, Dad."
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"Yes, you're right."
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"Duck, Mister Lincoln!"
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"No, Dad. I mean, you should use your time on the air"
The Simpsons
"to say things that really mean something."
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"Change the world for the better."
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"Well, I took Bart's advice last week, so I guess it's Lisa's turn."
The Simpsons
"Now if you'll excuse me..."
The Simpsons
"You hit him high! I'll hit him low!"
The Simpsons
"(GRUNTING)"
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"(LAUGHING)"
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"Look, since my own network dumped me,"
The Simpsons
"I thought maybe I could do a show on (GROWLS) Fox."
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"I'm sorry, Krusty."
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"People aren't interested in stars anymore. They want reality."
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"Way ahead of ya."
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"How about a show where girls think I'm a millionaire?"
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"But what they don't know is I'm rife with disease!"
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"Okay, okay. How about one where I move in with a poor family"
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"and laugh at them? (LAUGHS) You see be..."
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"Please, you people are known for taking chances on crap."
The Simpsons
"You know, we've had a great time on this show"
The Simpsons
"riffing on small, unimportant subjects."
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"Dirty words you can spell on your calculator"
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"is a very important subject."
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""Boobs.""
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"(LAUGHS)"
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"Just like what girls got."
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"Well, that's all over now."
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"Every year, the gulf between rich and poor nations gets larger."
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"This show stinks! I knew my son would blow it!"
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"Where's the remote?"
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"Oh, it might as well be in China."
The Simpsons
"MAN: Live from Springfield Stadium,"
The Simpsons
"it's Krusty the Clown's Wet 'N' Wild Bar Mitzvah!"
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"Shalom."
The Simpsons
"I can't schmear you!"
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"(SINGING GIBBERISH)"
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"Now to get you in the Bar Mitzvah mood,"
The Simpsons
"put your hands together for the Beach Boys Experience!"
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"Pastrami, knishes, on two sets of dishes"
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"A church with no steeple for God's chosen people"
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"Now let's meet a man who's muscle-bound"
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"and a man who's bound not to eat mussels,"
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"Mr. T and Krusty the Clown!"
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"T, I haven't seen you since we roasted Chevy Chase!"
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"Yeah. We were kind of rough on him. I feel bad for the guy."
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"You pitied the fool?"
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"That's one way of putting it. Time for me to get into character."
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"Let's scroll!"
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"Baruch adonai hamvorach, fool!"
The Simpsons
"Why should America consume 90 % of the world's resources?"
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"Argentina must devalue her currency to pay her debts!"
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"(SOBBING)"
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"You can't leave. I'm your ride home!"
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"(CHOKING)"
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"So that's why Bart has all those broken tracheal bones."
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"Tight bow tie, my ass!"
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"Now ladies and gentlemen,"
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"That's a lot of latke!"
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"(GRUNTING)"
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"Three, two, one, and you're canceled!"
The Simpsons
"Don't worry. This will be quick and painless."
The Simpsons
"There we go."
The Simpsons
"Oh..."
The Simpsons
"but you went out in the classiest way possible."
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"I'm proud of you."
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"Marge, I thank God every day you settled for me."
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"Hey, where's my car?"
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"Oh, over there."
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"(SOBBING)"
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"Come on, Homie. We'll go to the make-your-own-sundae place."
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"Will you make my sundae for me?"
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"And now for our grand finale,"
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"I pity the shul that won't let Krusty in now!"
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"Spin me, clown!"
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"(LAUGHS)"
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"I wish I had invested my money better."
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"(LAUGHING)"
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"Mmm..."
The Simpsons
"Krusty, the ratings were good. Raymond re-run good."
The Simpsons
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