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Clips from The Office - Party (S02E02)

"- What do you think? - Well, between 30 and 40."
The Office
"Yes. More honest."
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"Ok. Now, guys, we're about to enter a warehouse environment."
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"Just find a partner. Hold hands. Don't talk to anyone though, ok?"
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"Are you cheering? Ok. Let's go."
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"Here's the hub of the operation. Working hard as usual."
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"- All right? - The stripper's arrived."
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"- Hey, don't worry. She'll get the old milkers out for a tenner. - Fuck off."
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"- What? - Lend us a tenner!"
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"- You won't see them tonight. - That's all right. I've got cable."
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"Ok. I'm gonna show you this aisle first."
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"Bender!"
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"No! Get lost, you cheeky bastard."
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"No!"
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"David. This is Ray and Jude. Ray and Jude... sorry. Forgotten where you're from."
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"- From Cooper & Webb - consultants. - Who's Cooper and who's Webb?"
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"- Neither of us. - I bet you get that all the time."
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"Anyway..."
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"First things first. Any more mail?"
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"Come through."
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"Must just..."
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"Shoot."
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"- Are you aware of what we do? - No."
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"Basically, we organise training days for corporations and individuals"
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"who pay to get an advantage in business."
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"But it's not just telling boring facts."
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"We also have businees experts who train them how to act, how to walk into a room and say, "I'm the guy you're going to do business with.""
The Office
"Ok, I'll stop you there. I really don't need anything like that. I do all my own in-house training."
The Office
"We'd very much like you to be one of our experts."
The Office
"Good choice. Why did you dudes swing by here in the first place?"
The Office
"Well we'd heard a lot of good things about Wertnamm-Hogg. We also got your name from a guy we work with called Andy Hitchcock."
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"Oh, god. Cockles. Cocky. The big cock."
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"Next time you're talking to him, just ask him if he got the grass stains out of his trousers."
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"Not in front of his wife."
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"What sort of tip would you want me on? If I was to.."
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"We're looking for people who are dynamic, who are also good communicators."
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"It's a corporate message, but, obviously we're after people who can communicate with young people - 20-somethings."
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"- You don't see heels like those much nowdays. - You can still find them. Um.."
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"- What sort of bunce will I be looking at? - Sorry?"
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"- Well, to start with... - Bunsen burner."
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"Bunsen burner - nice little earner. Hence the..."
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"bunce."
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"15 minutes! That's..."
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"- When would you want to do it? - Soon."
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"Count me in. Thank you."
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"- Sorry, do you have a diary? We could make some dates now. - Absoluemo. What's that?"
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"- It's a dildo. - Is it yours?"
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"This is an example of problems. Let's have a look."
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"Ok, everybody. What am I doing in there with a dildo?"
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"Right. What's it doing in there?"
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"It's a birthday present, but I don't know what it's doing in there."
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"So today's your birth.. Many happy returns, but what have we learnt from this?"
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"- Not to leave your dildo lying around? - Don't let it out of your sight, because, it can wind up anywhere."
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"- Oh. What's that?"
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"Sorry. How do you...?"
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"Oh, it's worse. What do you do when that happens? Well you probably...I'd.."
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"Just.. can you make sure that gets back to...?"
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"- Can we put some dates in? - Sure. We're in the middle of something."
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"- I'm not saying anything about... - If you want to see bravery, come to me. I'll do a dare."
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"- Bravery? - Yeah c'mon."
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"I'm gonna phone Dav...no. I'm gonna write things for you to say. Now come here."
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"And then I'm gonna phone David and I want you to say exactly what I write down, ok?"
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"- No way. You'll make me sound like a bender. - No look. I swear I won't."
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"I'm not gonna say anything that makes me sound like a bender."
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"- Hello? - Hi it's Gareth."
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"All right."
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"- You're doing a great job. - Ok."
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"No. I like your little beard."
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"What?"
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"You should wear tighter trousers."
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"- Can I get you to call you back? - Yeah. Bye."
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"- That was genius! Genius. Genius. - Thank you."
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"Brilliant."
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"We have a website with profiles of all our speakers on them. Would you mind answering a few questions?"
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"- No. Go for it. - Ok."
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""If you could have a working lunch with anyone, living or dead, who would it be?""
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"Martin Luther King and the Dalai Lama...and Rory Bremner."
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"Those two could get a bit heavy, and he'd lighten things up."
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"- Alton towers. - Oh."
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"- Hello. - Hiya."
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"- I've got some. - Have you?"
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"- Yeah. - What you got?"
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"Oh..."
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"I used to do loads... what were they?"
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"We can think of some."
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"- Absolutely. - Some new ones."
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"- Let's think of some good ones. - For?"
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"What about Gareth? It's about time he had some tricks played on him."
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"What would your motto be?"
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"That way, it keeps me on my toes. So my motto would be..."
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"be careful because there's always someone ready to step into your shoes"
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"and do your job better... than... you... do it."
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"Heh heh."
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"- In the name of fun. - He will hate you."
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"- Sorry. It's a little birthday bash for Trudy. - Who organised this?"
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"I did."
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"Bit over the top, innit?"
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"- Made it yourself? - Every year, he makes 'em."
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"- That's really nice. - You ought to taste his Lemon Drizzle cake's. Even better."
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"I prefer a flan."
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"It's a pleasure to watch you. She's a prude."
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"- No, she's not. - She is."
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"- Really? - She's very..."
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"- not 40? - It's true. Every time that does happen..."
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"Are you in a meeting? I've just had an interesting meeting."
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"See those two people over there? They're business people. Quite important actually."
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"They've got a business and they arrange seminars, management training seminars"
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"They've asked me. So... yeah."
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"Perfect for me though, because not only do I know about that sort of stuff and have lots of natural authority with people,"
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"but I'm an all-round entertainer, so they've..."
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"See those two business people over there?"
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"- Is that you? - Yeah."
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"You're funny. Could have had my eye out."
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"- Hello. Gareth Keenan. - Cock!"
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"Thank you! Oh, glorious! Did you see that? He still picked it up."
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"- Was that you? - We glued it."
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"- Was that like superglue? Oh, my god. - Yes."
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"I wouldn't say it would take very much of your time."
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"I appreciate your interest, but I'm just so busy."
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"- What are we talking about? - We're just trying to involve this chap in the motivational.."
The Office
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