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Clips from The Office - Party (S02E02)

"- Oh but you've asked me. A bit rude, innit? - Oh no we'd use both of you for different..."
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"- I can do 'em both. - I can't anyway."
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"- Can I have your card just in case? - No point, is there?"
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"- Well we might be able to persuade you. - Well he said no once. If he goes behind that, he's weak."
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"- Anyway we ought to be going. - Yep. Leave it as it was. Yeah, as agreed."
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"- We'll be in touch, David. - Nice to meet you. Bye."
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"So you're definitely not doing it? I thought you were trying to worm your way in."
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"- No I'm not interested. - Why? Beneath you, is it?"
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"No. I just, don't think you can teach people that sort of thing. Either you can do it or you can't."
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"- Depends who the guru is. - Beware of false prophets!"
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"That's my point. It's not all about profits."
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"- I meant prophets... - I meant, I meant. If only, if only."
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"If only me auntie had bollocks, she'd be me uncle."
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"Every time in one."
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"- Ok. Top trumps. Pop stars. - Pop stars?"
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"- Right. Do you know how to play? - Yeah I know how to play."
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"Which is good news for the ladies, I suppose. I'm still available."
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"with my parents."
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"I have my own room, which I've had since I was born."
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"I went to university for a year as well, before I dropped out, so I'm a quitter."
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"Look at him."
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"I've been on safari and I've never seen anything like that."
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"I've got 94. I have got 94!"
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"I do."
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"Well, I've been known to do that."
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"- Are you complaining? - No."
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"Number of haircuts. Is that a valid thing? Are you getting mullered?"
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"- I know. Shall we carry on with the game? - I want to carry on. I wish you would."
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"Chris Finch."
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"What's the difference between a fox and a dog?"
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"About eight pints of lager!"
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"It's party time here, mate. You coming in?"
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"- Why not? - I'm already here, you fat twat! - Hey Finchy! Chis Finch. Here he is."
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"I do not nick 'em. I borrow them. Has that Lisa moved up here?"
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"No. She left. She looked for a job."
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"- Well if it's a blow job, I can help her. - Not that desperate for money."
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"- Tell her I'll take her up the dole office! - Dole orifice!"
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"- Rubbish. - I've got a vacancy she can fill!"
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"That's better. His work. Don't try and..."
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"- what are you like? - Another one."
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"Once a year, kid. Cheers, cheers. Cheers to me."
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"If you like top trumps, you should come to me. I've got about five different sets."
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"Don't try to beat me on monster trucks though coz you wont. My specialty."
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"- Well it's a game of chance though innit, so what you.. - No. It's not."
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"I would know know what cards you'd got immedietly, just through which cards I've got."
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"for just testing out , every different scenario, which cards beat which other cards, for hours sometimes."
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"Three or four hours at a time, but, put in the work, but the rewards are obvious."
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"and I would know probability-wise, exactly what feature to pick on my card"
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"to defeat statistically any card that you could have in your hand at that precise moment."
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"- Do you know what they're paying me for this? - No."
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"Right. 15 minutes work, 300 quid."
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"- can I have a birthday kiss please? - You certainly can."
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"- All right. No tongues. - Oh."
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"Oh... that's good, isn't it? Didn't ask me out of respect. Knows I'd say no."
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"Go on."
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"That's a good idea. I always do it from behind if I don't like the face."
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"- Cheeky bastard! You like my face, don't you, love? - I love your face. I think you're beautiful."
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"I'll do you from behind if you want, if it's a quick in and out, no strings attached."
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"That's really sweet. Why don't you put that in an email to me?"
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"All right."
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"# One kiss, two kiss, three kiss, four five kiss, seven kiss, eight kiss, more. #"
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"- You all right? - Mmm. Great."
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"I know it's your birthday and you're flirting with everyone. You're mucking around, you know.."
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"- I know you wouldn't take it any further... - Oh I would!"
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"- Why not? It's all equal. - I'm just having a laugh."
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"Aren't they big magnificent animals?"
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"I'm just not sure you're going to find what you're after in here."
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"- See I'd ask you, but you're a bit old, really. - In my 30s. Give me a break."
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"Born in the '30s!"
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"- I'm 30-something. I'm 30s. - Yeah but you've let yourself go a bit."
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"- Bull rags? - What?"
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"- I thought you said bull rags. - No. Raw eggs."
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"If you keep eating raw eggs, it makes you randy,"
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"but at the same time it allows you to do as many reps as you want."
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"- So, how's the old car business? - All right."
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"- Who's this? - The Corrs, innit."
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"- I like The Corrs. Done some good tunes. - Yeah? Didn't write that one, though."
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"- Who's that? - Don't you know?"
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"- No. - Not into pop music I suppose."
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"- Well I prefer R&B really. So who wrote that? - Fleetwood Mac. And I prefer their version as well."
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"- Well I know who I'd rather wake up with! - Ooh sexist Neil."
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"- Coz you'd know? - Well I dunno why you're laughing because I'm a dark horse, so you don't.."
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"- Like you could get anyone like the Corrs! - Just 'cause I don't kiss and tell, doesn't mean I don't get.."
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"- You don't normally kiss, so you got nothing to tell. - He'd end up with the brother!"
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"No I wouldn't. No I wouldn't. No I'd push the brother out of the room, I'll get the other three and I'll bend them all over,"
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"And i'd do the drummer, the lead singer, and that one who plays violin."
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"Ooh! See? Your fault. Putting filth in people's minds."
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"- My knees hurt. - Nearly done."
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"In my experience, women who work in factories are slappers, so, dunno whats...."
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"Sorry. No...no sorry. Uh... we're not trying to get your business."
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"- No! - No. I don't know... sorry. Let's.."
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"- I've never been. - It's rubbish. Next."
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"those qualities. Keep it under your hat."
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"Finchy! All right? Go on."
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"- Yeah well you can still do me from behind anyway. - Ooh! I'll be there in a moment."
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"- Birthday girl. Hello. - Hello."
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"- You say what you mean, don't you? - Mmm."
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"- Nice jacket. - Whatever."
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"Mainly dusting."
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"I'm gluing the phone."
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"Whoo!"
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