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Clips from 30 Rock - Lee Marvin vs. Derek Jeter (S04E04)

"Every man in this room is single."
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"Nobody."
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"I mean, that guy has a beard."
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"Who knows what's under there?"
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"Tattoo guy, too promiscuous."
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"T-shirt tucked into jeans?"
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"Oh, that guy just looks like he'd be mean to me."
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"Hey, I'm no relationship expert."
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"And you're not that."
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"and start figuring out what you do want."
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"That's not that much cheese."
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"I want someone who will be monogamous"
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"but knows to just shut his mouth when I'm watching Lost."
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"And I want someone who thinks being really into cars is lame"
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"and strip clubs are gross."
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"and beefy forearms like a damn Disney prince."
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"You make much English."
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"down on the basement mezzanine,"
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"I pulled your file."
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"Elizabeth... I don't know how to pronounce your middle name..."
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"Lemon."
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"You attended the University of Maryland"
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"So NCCA competitive jazz dance"
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"You were able to pay for college"
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"because of a program that favored women."
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"Favored women to correct an imbalance."
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"There's more."
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"You were only hired by the Second City"
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"because they needed someone who could"
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"remember to feed the theater cat."
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"after airing the action drama Bitch Hunter."
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"Happy birthday, bitches!"
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"Oh, my God."
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"I'm no better than Toofer."
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"Or Lutz with his B.S. Inuit ancestry."
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"Or you, whose dad was in the Masons with Dave Garroway."
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"I shouldn't be here."
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"This is America."
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"None of us are supposed to be here."
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"I need to dance this out."
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"Why do you think your checks"
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"aren't the same color as Howie Mandel's?"
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"The other, the future."
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"The promise..."
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"Avery."
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"Right?"
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"Yes."
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"No."
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"Well..."
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"Hey, Liz."
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"Did you let one in?"
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"Into your heart, I mean."
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"God."
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"It actually went okay."
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"I'm sorry you and I couldn't get together last night."
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"Yeah, me too."
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"I cook you a pot roast, we drink too much wine,"
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"We'll be keeping an eye on this story as it develops."
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"And, at the risk of editorializing,"
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"What are you doing here?"
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"Welcome back, James."
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"As a condition of my re-employment,"
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"I have requested that I no longer be called Toofer."
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"Victoria Q. Nerdballs."
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"Kanye East."
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"Okay, fine, fine."
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"Welcome back."
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"Oh, God bless you."
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"Thank you, Lemon."
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"Not really."
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"Be your wingman."
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"Tracy, this is..."
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"I feel like you've been saving that one."
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"But if I blow this up now, all three of us will suffer."
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"because white people no longer feel sorry for us?"
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"I'm Jerem."
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"I didn't have the heart to tell Mrs. Schwitzer"
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"Well, it's not better."
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"with 'Sexecutive' Jack Donaghy.""
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"Well, no, I can't have my picture taken with you."
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"You go ahead."
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"I work here because I'm hilarious, right?"
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"Earlier today, Tracy made the accusation"
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"in high-heeled boots like a moron."
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"With those prices?"
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"can we wait until the morning to fool around?"
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"Like Three's Company, it's titillating,"
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"How do you choose between Lee Marvin and Derek Jeter?"
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"I feel like I'm being pulled apart, and I need your help."
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"while I have to pay to have kickballs whipped at me."
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"Oh, yeah, how come I'm always forced to play"
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"Look at Italians."
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"And, sure,"
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"Are these the cufflinks..."
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"but I do know the access code to his pyramid."
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"I do like jellybeans."
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"Yeah, I don't know."
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"You know, Liz?"
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"Jerem!"
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"This is fun alcoholics meeting."
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"Is that right, Liz Lemon?"
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"Come on, Pete, I'm in a good mood."
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"No, it was affirmative action."
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"Each gift symbolic of the woman who gave it to you."
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"I choose..."
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"Great, new nickname suggestions, go."
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"Splock... Short for "Black Spock"."
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"I'll just go back to Toofer."
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"What is wrong with you?"
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"The Post will love it."
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"I think she's the one."
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"Yeah, that new 3-D is amazing."
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"But every time you say what you don't want,"
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"with some executive."
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"and you're going to have to go to singles dodgeball."
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"Oh, yeah."
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"Racist!"
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"Let's, uh, just watch T.V."
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"you sound like a cranky cow."
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"Look how drunk I am!"
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