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Clips from Community - Home Economics (S01E01)

"Living in your car. You are living in your car."
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"It's a very temporary issue."
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"Believe me, kitten, Winger's got moves."
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"- Do you need a place to stay? - I'd offer but my dad's kind of racist."
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"My room has a bunk bed, which is a misnomer because it's the real deal."
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"will be mentioned by name in my suicide note."
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"This is my first college girl so I really want to impress her."
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"- I'd love to. - Really?"
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"Thanks. Later."
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"I can see it. Two girls are making out on the hood."
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"No, my real place."
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"The condo board's trying to bluff me by listing my place as available."
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"Those faucets are beautiful."
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"which you no longer have."
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"This condo is all that's left of me."
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"- Is that a bidet? - That part's for resale value."
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"You know, downgrading your lifestyle is your chance to grow as a person."
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"There's a silver lining here, isn't there?"
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"Come on. Why don't you have dinner at my place?"
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"I got a hot plate that plugs into a cigarette lighter."
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"Yeah, but your kitchen's being towed."
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"Can I live with you?"
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"Top."
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"Me too."
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"Look, I really need to liquidate some assets."
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"It's an emergency situation."
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"What kind of an offer is that?"
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"These are mint condition issues."
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"The guy has the powers and strength of a spider."
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"Don't you ever want anything more out of life than cereal?"
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"I call it "special drink"."
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"- I'm sorry? - You're Goldie Hawn."
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"Is it the lips?"
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"But she fell off her boat, good thing for her because,"
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"Can I not be Kurt Russell?"
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"Do whatever you want. You just have to know."
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"For me, it's Lucky Charms..."
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"and tv."
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"I could use a break."
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"A picnic blanket."
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"Genius."
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"It's the blanket my grandmother used to court my grandfather."
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"Yeah? That's pretty hot."
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"Thanks."
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"Tell that boy how you feel!"
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"It's scary."
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"But waiting won't change the dice. You either roll them or lose your turn."
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"I need a few more shakes."
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"and I want to record the train wreck."
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"Just want to show Vaughn some support to help smooth things over."
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"Saying good-bye to Britta"
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"was the hardest thing to do."
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"But when someone's a bitch and a liar,"
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"there ain't nothing left to woo."
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"I'm getting rid of Britta. What am I doing?"
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"- I'm getting rid of the b. - She's a no-good b."
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"I'm getting rid of Britta,"
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"Same as a 45-year-old, except he doesn't get as tired."
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"My dad never wanted to watch anything so I was kind of raised by tv."
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"Tv's the best dad there is."
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"Tv never forgot me at the zoo."
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"Tv never abused and insulted me,"
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"- That sounds cool. - Doesn't it?"
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"You guys are really dorming it up in here, huh?"
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"- We're having the time of our lives. - See?"
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"Who needs platinum faucets?"
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"There's a communal bathroom down the hallway."
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"You don't sit on a toilet like that until you've left the material world."
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"- Pavel! - Hey, bros."
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"This is Pavel. He lives next door. He's from Poland."
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"Guys, what the hell! "Getting rid of Britta"?"
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"That song was disrespectful to me and to the definition of "rhyme scheme"."
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"If you don't like my song, you don't have to listen, all right?"
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"All right, hold on here."
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"Can I have a word with you?"
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"What'd you say?"
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"I know Britta's your friend, but my song is more important."
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"- Are you trying to Garfunkel me? - Maybe."
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"Assuming to "Garfunkel" someone is to keep putting up with them"
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"even though they're a fat, lazy cat who hogs the spotlight and eats lasagna."
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"I get it. You're jealous."
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"- What? Why? - I don't know."
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"Because when I were these skinny jeans, my ass looks like a baby pumpkin."
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"You get on that horse."
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"Did you just defend my honor?"
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"And you'll take a bite."
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"And she'll take a bite. And you'll laugh."
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"And you'll offer her your letter jacket"
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"after you notice this funny way she shakes when she gets cold."
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"You're really nice."
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"You guys are sexual partners, right?"
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"Us? No. He's my very good friend."
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"And I have appendicitis."
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"Thanks for bringing me here."
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"Guess I ruined your date, huh?"
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"Doesn't seem to be anything wrong with you."
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"Cool. I'll see you."
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"- Where does it hurt? - Everywhere."
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"This a date? You'll need these."
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"Okay, I need to go."
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"She was the "typhoid mary" of herpes."
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"- You guys weren't in spanish class. - Knight Rider marathon."
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"May I have a word?"
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"- Has this always been here? - You need to take Jeff back."
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"Never had him. Don't want him."
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"- He needs to get back. - What am I supposed to do about that?"
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"Use your lady parts."
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"and finds a nice place to live."
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"Do it. Seduce him."
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"Then say good-bye to E.T."
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"Abed, it's open!"
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"What are you doing? That was the Jeffersons, honky."
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"I was wrong, okay? Material possessions are important."
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"Think how much happier the Jeffersons were"
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"than that family on good times."
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"- But they had good times. - Well, do good times really matter?"
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"What about good cars, good lobster?"
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"What about that..."
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"That sport where the British people"
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"ride the horses with the really long hammers?"
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