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Clips from Community - Home Economics (S01E01)

"we'll refer to each other by our Spanish nombres."
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"but within biking distance of his parents' house."
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"They could do something on campus."
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"I thought..."
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"You thought..."
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"Can't believe I misled you like that."
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"Listen..."
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"And I hate you."
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"Damn, I picked the wrong couple to follow out of class this morning."
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"Jeff and Britta are dead air."
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"And you missed an entire side of your face shaving."
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"We won't think about our chubby thighs or whether or not we can have babies."
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"That is "girl" for "talk to Vaughn"."
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"What is he doing?"
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"I know exactly what he's doing."
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"I tell you, before aids, sex was like shaking hands."
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"Good news is I'm the new keyboardist in his band."
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"I'm in a rock band!"
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"I'm just sleeping in it for a couple of days"
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"while I work at some problems with my condo."
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"How you'll get the money?"
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"Would you mind helping me shop for this stuff?"
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"Wanna see my place?"
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"You know what they would go great with: a home,"
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"- You need to move on with your life. - Yeah. Move on with my life."
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""Shmove shmon shmith shmy shmife. ""
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"Every part of it is a part of who I am."
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"And Saturday afternoons."
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"The less you have, the more you can be. You know what I'm saying?"
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"Yeah. Cool. You want the top or the bottom bunk?"
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"I win."
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"Did I say anything in my sleep about farm animals or Brian Williams?"
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"- Lucky charms? - How are you so satisfied all the time?"
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"and drink like it like a cold hot chocolate."
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"And some day you will know it by its true name, "diabetes. ""
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"You're Goldie Hawn, Jeff."
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"In overboard, she was just like you."
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"Wealthy, assertive, arrogant. Got manicures all the time."
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"I was gonna lay down on newspaper."
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"You could. Love is a gamble always."
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"Shake 'em in your mind, okay?"
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"Kind of hoping for a Michael Richards situation."
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"Cop Rock."
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"It actually helped me come to terms with losing my condo."
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"I'm getting rid of Britta, getting rid of the b."
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"I'm an artist and I write what I feel."
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"And I feel that you suck."
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"My band, my song!"
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"And you'll light the candles."
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"All right."
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"Troy, wait! I have to tell you..."
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"- My appendix is bursting. - What?"
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"Two young students."
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"Nice. I'll be thinking of you."
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"No, we... We have to observe you overnight."
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"It's policy."
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"We don't want another "Vanessa Parsons" on our hand."
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"Are you seeing anybody?"
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"Shadowy flight into the world of a man who does not exist."
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"Especially now. He's got a real Phil Spector vibe going."
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"He's like E.T. He crashed in my place."
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"And we're friends now, it's great for me, but it's bad for him."
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"Tell him you'll make love to him if he takes a shower"
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"I'm heading back. Pavel's making babka."
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"Draw the tapeworm of Jeff out of him with your sexuality."
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"- You're into me. - I beg your unbelievable pardon."
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"I don't need your heart or your hand."
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"I am my own person,"
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"and, Pierce, you're a b."
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"Yeah, you heard me say it."
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"Before you two proceed, I have one thing to say..."
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"Did you... say it already?"
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"I want my blanket back."
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"I know, sweetie. Let's go find you some pants."
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"Thanks..."
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"For, uh..."
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"Caring."
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"- You're pretty cool, Abed. - You're a huge nerd."
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"Thanks."
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"This rap is by Pierce, Vaughn is dumb"
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"He wears diapers to bed, And sucks his mothers thumb"
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"And when he wakes up, Stupid wishing he was me"
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"He has a big poop breakfast, With a glass of pee"
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"And everybody hates him, Even all his friends"
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"So from now on,"
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"Buenos días, Winger."
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"Stop it, Troy."
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"Say there are two friends and they're in the same class"
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"and one wants to ask the other one out on a date."
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"Like a grown-up date,"
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"Tomorrow there's a picnic with live music on the East lawn."
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"They're calling it "A night under the stars"."
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"Cool. I bet Randi would love that type of thing."
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"Randi can be the name of a guy or a girl."
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"You're welcome."
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"And I want to have your children."
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"Are you okay? It looks like you have actual bed head this morning."
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"In fashion, I'm what's known as a tastemaker."
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"And next month, so will Gwen Stefani."
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"Here comes Vaughn. Bye."
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"- Crap. - Vaughn?"
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"Hi, Vaughn. Can we talk sometime?"
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"I'm sorry about how things ended."
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"I'm sorry I can't accept your apology 'cause you're toxic, Britta."
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"You're like the exact opposite of an antioxidant."
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"- I got band practice. Lates. - Can't we still be friends?"
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"And isn't the word "later" already short enough?"
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"Let me talk to him for you."
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"Man-to-man is better."
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"Don't talk to Vaughn."
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"- Your hormones are clouding your... - Don't talk to Vaughn."
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"You sure you don't want a piece of that?"
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"My ex-husband spent four weeks doing that"
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"after his "innocent mistake" of calling me Valerie."
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"That boy's living in his car."
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"Of course, we didn't have the same safety standards back then so..."
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"No condoms."
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"You really did a number on him."
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"So I asked you not to talk to him and you completely ignored me."
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"We were just talking about how in today's economy..."
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