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Clips from The Simpsons - Moe'N'A Lisa (S18E18)

"But you shattered my dreams like a Duff tall boy in a bar brawl,"
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"or handsome or anything, really."
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"What a deep, tormented soul."
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"Moe!"
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"You have a world view both bleak and beautiful."
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"I want to write a report about you."
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"Wow, for the first time in my life,"
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"someone's taking a genuine interest in what's inside of me."
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"Heh, suddenly, this is my best birthday ever."
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"I ain't no great man, like Bob Seger or Haystacks Calhoun."
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"Because I suspect deep within you is an artist's soul."
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"Thanks. Say, here's my digs."
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"You're just like "Eloise"!"
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"Did someone say my name?"
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"This vibrating massage chair feels great!"
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"That ain't a massage chair. It's just full of cockroaches."
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"Liver fights kidney who wins? no one"
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""I was in the Christmas pageant once."
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"He called me Steve.""
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"Oh... what you've got here is poetry!"
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"Ooh, Moe's a poet!"
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"He has a soul! Flutter your wings!"
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"It's tea time in Buttercup Junction!"
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"Dee-dee-dee..."
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"He lunches on lavender and potpourri!"
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"You know, artfully arranged, these fragments could be an epic poem..."
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"Whoa!"
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"How 'bout this for a title: "Howling at a Concrete Moon.""
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"We make a great team there, Lisa."
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"Lisa, I'm sorry you got a bad grade on your "Moe and tell.""
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"I don't care about my grade."
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"I'm gonna send Moe's poem to American Poetry Perspectives."
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"Do not mention that publication in this house!"
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"They never published my poem! "There once was a rapping tomato"
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""That's right, I said 'rapping tomato'"
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""He rapped all day from April to May"
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"Hey, Chief, we just got a submission"
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"from a brilliant poet no one's ever heard of!"
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"Pay him nothing, and run it on the cover!"
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"Stop the presses! Send my wife some flowers!"
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"And bring me an Advil! What do you mean you don't work for me?!"
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"You're hired! Now that you're hired, you're fired!"
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"Now that you don't work here, we can be friends."
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"Now that we're friends, how come you never call?"
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"...you can't bump me..."
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"...bump you!"
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"Moe, you're a published author!"
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"Wow, just think, earlier tonight,"
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"a newly-published poet cleaned up my barf."
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"Who?"
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"To what?"
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"Screw you, snail trail!"
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"Tom Wolfe?!"
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"He wrote The Right Stuff and Bonfire of the Vanities."
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"And coined the phrase "radical chic!""
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"Wait, wait, wait. Then that guy wasn't squeezin' my 'roids"
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"when he invited me to the Wordloaf Festival in Vermont?"
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"You'll meet all the great American writers, Moe!"
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"You have to go!"
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"Hello. Oh, hey, Milhouse."
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"Ah, a family trip with the family bartender, what could be better?"
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"I gotta go to Vermont for some stupid poetry thing."
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"Homer, don't drink and drive!"
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"Fine. I'll drive between sips."
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"Wow. Troopers from every state in New England."
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"Including Rhode Island!"
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"Hey, guys, did you hear?"
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"The Da Vinci Code just sold one hundred million copies!"
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"It's Tom Wolfe!"
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"He uses more exclamation points than any other major American writer."
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"- How ya doin' there? Moe Szyslak. - Ah, magnificent Moe."
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"He stands, stoop-shouldered, blinking in the light,"
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"who's made a career of taking dives but has decided"
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"to get his manhood out of hockand take a shot at the title."
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"You ever scrub your hands real fast, and you think you're seein' a third one?"
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"Moe, your debut poem is as refreshing as..."
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"a second pair of socks on a wet hike."
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""Howling at a Concrete Moon.""
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"You needed help to write your title?"
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"Well, so have I, Gore Vidal."
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"1876 was the price I paid for gas once."
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"I can't believe it!"
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"Those sound like terrible jokes!"
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"I have some on tape."
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"You still love me, Temple University Class of 1987."
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"So Moe, you were telling us how you came up with your title."
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"Yeah, well, I-I was just saying that um..."
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"...that I, uh, I thought it up all by myself."
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"Ah, like a real writer. Outstanding, Moe!"
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"But we were a team!"
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"I'd like to introduce our panel:"
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"Whoa, clear water. Swanky! Woo-hoo."
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"Now we'll open the floor to fawning praise and obvious questions."
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"Yes, yes."
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"My question is, who are your biggest influences?"
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"I'd have to say my good friend Jonathan Franzen."
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"Cha-bone...!"
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"Well, in turn, I'd have to say my biggest influence is..."
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"Moe, who inspired you to become a writer?"
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"Well, I dunno, uh... the only book I ever read"
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"was Super Hounds: The Ultimate Greyhound Betting System."
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"who believed in you when no one else did."
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"Oh, uh, yeah, I get what you're gettin' at."
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"I declare this panel dismissed."
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"Lisa, grab your sightseeing shoes. We're going Vermonting."
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"It's gonna be awesome."
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"You guys go ahead."
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"We'll see you when we see you."
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"It's like driving through cute little houses."
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"We should exchange insurance information."
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"I have none."
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"I need a brilliant new poem for the farewell dinner."
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"and then don't say nothin' while I take all the credit,"
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"Huh? Huh?"
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"Moe, you're a heartless jerk."
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"Well, let's see if I can put this poem together."
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"Hey, hey, hey."
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"What... Get... Hey... Look at me."
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"and I'm standing in mud, fightin' with geese."
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"Did you know that candles are made by losers?"
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