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Clips from The Simpsons - The Springfield Files (S08E08)

"## [Chorus Singing]"
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"[Beeping]"
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"[Tires Screeching]"
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"The answer is no."
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"[No Audible Dialogue]"
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"[Coins Clattering]"
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"This better be good."
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"[Computerized Voice] Game over. Please deposit 40 quarters."
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"## [Humming]"
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"[Sighs]"
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"Oh, Son, I'm glad to see ya!"
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"No time for you, old man."
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"## [Humming]"
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"[Gasps] Is this about that pen that I took from the post office?"
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"And that just made things worse. [Hyperventilating]"
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"Mr. Simpson, look at this lineup and tell us if any of these are the aliens you saw."
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"Now, we're going to run a few tests."
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"[Panting]"
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"If I wasn't married, I'd go out with you like that!"
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"Ow! He bit me with my own teeth!"
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"Yeah, okay. But somewhere out there, something is watching us."
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"[Grunting]"
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"Oh, Marge, I never felt so alone. No one believes me."
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"Thanks! I'd love an omelet right about now."
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"- Yo, Dad. Can I have a sip of your beer? - Now, Son."
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"No! No! No!"
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"And so, from this simple man came the proof..."
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"[Kent Brockman] Tonight on Eyewitness News..."
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"Were you on my roof last night stealing my weather vane?"
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"Wherever there is mystery and the unexplained..."
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"I bring you love."
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"Wait! You want an alien?"
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"This is your alien!"
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"[Gasps] It's a monster! Kill it! Kill it!"
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"till I jam this down your throat."
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"## [Humming]"
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"Thanks, Marge."
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"[Beeping]"
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"D'oh! [Screams]"
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"Hello. I'm Leonard Nimoy."
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"The following tale of alien encounters is true."
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"And by true, I mean false."
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"It's all lies. But they're entertaining lies."
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"And in the end, isn't that the real truth?"
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"Our story begins on a Friday morning..."
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"in a little town called Springfield."
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"T.G.I. F! Guys, I'm off to Moe's."
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"But, Homer, it's 10:00 in the morning."
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"Don't worry. I have a plan."
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"I saw this in a movie about a bus that had to speed around the city..."
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"keeping its speed over 50."
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"And if its speed dropped, it would explode."
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"I think it was called The Bus that Couldn't Slow Down."
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"First, I hook this common VCR..."
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"into the security camera system like so."
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"Then I insert this old videotape of us working..."
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"on a continuous loop."
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"So, another Friday is upon us. What will you be doing, Smithers?"
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"- Something gay, no doubt? - What? What?"
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"You know, lighthearted, fancy-free."
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"Mothers, lock up your daughters. Smithers is on the town."
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"Exactly, sir."
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"Thank God it's Wednesday!"
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"- It's Friday. - Uh-oh. Wrong pills."
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"Uh, little help?"
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"Sorry, Donkey Kong. You are just not a draw anymore."
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"Hey, he's still got it!"
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"What a rip!"
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"Thank God it's Friday."
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"Hello."
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"Hello?"
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"[Santa's Little Helper Growling]"
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"- Bad dog! - [Snowball Yowling]"
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"Bad cat!"
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"Bad fawn. Hmm."
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"- Shoo! Shoo! - All right!"
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"It's time for ABC's T.G.I.F. line-up."
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"Lise, when you get a little older, you'll learn that Friday's just another day..."
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"between NBC's Must-See Thursday and CBS's Saturday night crap-o-rama."
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"Another Duff, Homer?"
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"Nah. It's Friday night, Moe. I wanna try something special."
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"Go!"
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"Wait a minute! This is Duff!"
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"[Chuckles] Ya got me, didn't ya?"
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"All right. Here you go. Red Tick Beer."
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"Hmm. Bold, refreshing..."
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"and something I can't quite put my finger on."
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"[Dogs Barking]"
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"Hmm. Needs more dog."
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"[Men Snoring]"
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"Well, it's 1:00 a.m. Better go home..."
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"and spend some quality time with the kids."
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"Just a second. You gotta take a Breathalyzer test before I let you drive home."
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"Uh, I guess I'll walk home."
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"[Moaning]"
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"[Dog Barking]"
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"## [Eerie]"
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"[Panting, Whimpering]"
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"[Screams]"
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"[Screams]"
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"I went for the morning paper and I got lost!"
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"[Hooting]"
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"[Gasps] Please, don't hurt me."
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"[High-pitched] Don't be afraid."
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"[Screaming]"
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"[Panting]"
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"Homer, it's 2:00 a.m. What happened?"
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"It was an alien! It appeared in front of me and said, "Don't be afraid"!"
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"- Have you been drinking? - No! Well, 10 beers."
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"[Groans]"
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"I'm telling you I saw a creature from another planet."
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"- Maybe you just dreamed it. - Oh, yeah?"
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"When I came to, I was covered with a sticky translucent goo."
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"[Moaning]"
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"Dad, according to Junior Skeptic Magazine, the chances are a 175 million-to-one..."
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"of another form of life actually coming in contact with ours."
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"- So? - It's just the people who claim they've seen aliens..."
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"are always pathetic lowlifes with boring jobs."
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"Oh. And you, Dad. [Chuckles]"
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"I am the thing from Uranus!"
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