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Clips from Archer - Killing Utne (S01E01)

"Mani, I have a bad feeling for this."
Archer
"This is taking chocolate from a baby."
Archer
"You're only here because I may need you to take one for the team."
Archer
"- Torvald is an incorrigible poon hound. Ha, ha."
Archer
"- Those are enormous in size. Oh, well..."
Archer
"- Uh, thank you. Kind of. - May I please cup one in my hand?"
Archer
"- Ooh. See, here's the thing... - We're actually together."
Archer
"Torvald, feel free to cup anything in the room."
Archer
"Strange that you wear them to a party."
Archer
"- Normally I wouldn't, but Malory... - But that's ISIS for you."
Archer
"This is good to know. - Yeah, how about that?"
Archer
"- You're breaking my arm. - Lana."
Archer
"- Oh, I'm sorry. Did that hurt? - Yes, it hurt. What is wrong with you?"
Archer
"Nothing but too much enthusiasm for the opportunity to serve the UN."
Archer
"- Oh, and hands like the Truckasaurus. - Hey."
Archer
"- Hello. - You're late."
Archer
"- What is that smell? - Gravlax and failure."
Archer
"- Truckasaurus. Ha, ha! - And we won't win that contract if..."
Archer
"Who on God's green earth dressed you?"
Archer
"Nobody, that's why I'm late. Woodhouse just disappeared."
Archer
"Why are you here? - Actually sir, I'm with Carina."
Archer
"- Ugh. - I changed it again."
Archer
"I feel that Carina better captures my sensual womanhood."
Archer
"Yeah, she so totally does."
Archer
"- Well, your mouth did. - Well, your mouth better get over there..."
Archer
"- Can we get off my fingers? - Yeah, they are pretty big."
Archer
"- First time I've heard you complain. - Hi-ho! Ha, ha."
Archer
"- Seriously, who wants gravlax? - Sterling, go. Regale him."
Archer
"- Oh, for... Torvald. - Bet you get that a lot, huh, Torvie?"
Archer
"- Wow. So even Pam got a date. - A man, even."
Archer
"But suave master-spy, Sterling Archer, stands alone."
Archer
"- I have a... - And a very handsome cheese, at that."
Archer
"- Alone. - And I do have a date."
Archer
"- You do? Where is she? - She is parking."
Archer
"Oh, yeah? What's she driving? A Snuffleupagus?"
Archer
"sexy European lingerie modeling... Mm-hm?"
Archer
"To pay for her European med school that she's going to..."
Archer
"She sounds fabulous."
Archer
"Go away."
Archer
"So your instructions are clear? - Oh."
Archer
"Why must you micromanage everything? Yeah, yeah, okay."
Archer
"Uta, after we kill Utne..."
Archer
"we need to have a very long and serious talk."
Archer
"ISIS is a distant second to ODIN. Very distant."
Archer
"What about the groundbreaking work..."
Archer
"Dr. Krieger is doing for ISIS in our Applied Research Division?"
Archer
"- Yes... The what? - I call him Fister Roboto."
Archer
"- But it doesn't just fist. Tell him. - Pam!"
Archer
"is that he's learning. - ISIS clearly is not the agency for us."
Archer
"Rotten gravlax, sex-bots, and, uh..."
Archer
"Willing to do whatever it takes."
Archer
"- Still gross. - And such rudeness."
Archer
"How about Jade? Oh, no, never mind."
Archer
"she looks like she swallowed a Rubik's Cube."
Archer
"- You are looking for a date? - Are you working?"
Archer
"Mm. You could say that, yes."
Archer
"Then we need to lock down your cover story. And, uh..."
Archer
"I need to hit an ATM."
Archer
"Torvald, please, don't go yet."
Archer
"- You haven't even tried the fish balls. - No need."
Archer
"There is plenty of fishiness going on at ISIS without your balls."
Archer
"Where's the damn fish balls, already? I could kill for some food."
Archer
"- Sure it wouldn't be the first time. - Lana."
Archer
"No, I just meant like she literally killed somebody."
Archer
"Then ate their corpse. I saw where you were going."
Archer
"Never much cared for it."
Archer
"Torvald, at least stay for dinner."
Archer
"- I think you'll be very surprised by... - I detest surprises."
Archer
"Which is why the contract will remain with ODIN."
Archer
"But you promised me Ruby Foo's."
Archer
"Yeah, I also promised you a baby. How's that working out for you?"
Archer
"- Hey, does that cook seem weird? - Normal-weird or German-weird?"
Archer
"Evening, you beautiful girl."
Archer
"No, not if you are staying, Miss?"
Archer
"- Oh, um... Yup. - Hübsch."
Archer
"- Elke Hübsch. - A pleasure, my dear."
Archer
"- I am a great admirer. - You know he's not the shot-putter, right?"
Archer
"But I am sure he is very strong."
Archer
"Ha, ha. Unlike these drinks. Come, my dear..."
Archer
"We just need to keep Torvald happy..."
Archer
"And if the Needle kills Utne, we won't even get our per diem."
Archer
"Oh. Yeah, I could do this."
Archer
"- Coming right out. - Hurry it up. All I've had today is, like..."
Archer
"Oh, my God."
Archer
"But if he's on the plan of Frau Archer..."
Archer
"- And then Ruby Foo's. - Well, we will see."
Archer
"Really? A European lingerie model."
Archer
"how many pounds it takes to snap a collarbone?"
Archer
"and I need you ready, locked, and loaded."
Archer
"- No. - Oh, if I were 20 years younger."
Archer
"I would like I think that very much."
Archer
"Oh, me too. I must leave for a moment."
Archer
"Keep her out of the medicine cabinet."
Archer
"One more dead body in here, and that bitch Trudy Beekman..."
Archer
"will have me right back in front of the co-op board."
Archer
"You don't get along with your neighbors anywhere."
Archer
"Who could with a woman who wallpapered her guest bathroom..."
Archer
"with vintage New Yorker covers?"
Archer
"Yes, Major. I am in position..."
Archer
"and ready to eliminate the target."
Archer
"Excellent. ODIN will find it much harder..."
Archer
"... to bribe a dead man for the UN contract."
Archer
"Obviously. And so I still think..."
Archer
"you should let me kill everybody here."
Archer
"Nyet. Under no circumstances are you to harm the hostess. Who, um..."
Archer
"- Whose name I have no way of knowing. Hey. What the hell are you doing?"
Archer
"- Uh, Botox. - Not from the medicine cabinet. No."
Archer
"Don't use this. She switches all the labels on her medicine."
Archer
"But for all we know, this could be insulin."
Archer
"- Oh, your mother is a diabetic? - How should I know?"
Archer
"Why don't you just pour it on everybody's?"
Archer
"But her I want to poison most of all."
Archer
"- Are you lazy Huns ready, or what? Oh. Ha, ha. Hello, yep."
Archer
"Uta is just, uh, polishing the gun."
Archer
"Give me that. Some idiot dropped a fish ball on my Azerbaijani rug."
Archer
"- I am that idiot. - Ach."
Archer
"I'm 19."
Archer
"Elke? Is everything all right?"
Archer
"- How are you? - I am fantastic, my dear."
Archer
"Those calcium supplements are amazing."
Archer
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